MGTOW 2 – The Party Line: Replying to Tim’s comment

September 19, 2015

Two posts in less than 2 days — something I haven’t done in about 5 or 6 years!  Thank you so much, Tim who commented on my last post and inspired me to come back to what could be an enlightening discussion.  Or just me looking foolish.

You can read Tim’s unabridged, complete and comprehensive treatment of MGTOW in the comment, but I’m going to put it below with my own responses here.  Others who have an interest can feel free to chime in the comments.  This is why I began blogging in the first place was because I wanted to have conversations about topics like this without being censored.  I’ll admit to being relatively new to MGTOW (or the singular version- MGHOW) but so are a lot of folks reading this.  Let’s get on with it:

Tim says:

Many people deride MGTOW because, in a gynocentric society, women are given priority in all things. Because of our heavily gynocentric system, women walking away from their traditional roles is equated with empowerment – while men walking away from their traditional roles is equated with misogyny, insecurity, immaturity and fear of women. See how that works? Shame men for being strong and independent – but praise women for the same. Likewise, women speaking of their freedom from the slavery of marriage is considered empowerment – while men freeing themselves from women’s destructive power is considered misogyny, insecurity, immaturity and fear of women. Again – men releasing themselves from women’s destructive power is derided – while women doing the same is hailed as liberation.

I think this is one of the best, most cohesive descriptions of why MGTOW (and other groups like it) exist.

Much of media and religion is setup to brainwash men into gynocentric robots that can’t be happy unless they’ve been validated by women. MGTOW is a direct threat to this power over men; hence MGTOW will be frowned upon by most women and a sizable portion of men. MGTOW isn’t a movement. We don’t have leaders to be attacked. MGTOW is a mindset.

I’m going to have some things to say later on in a future post about the role of religion in this, because modern day churches have set themselves up into gynocentric institutions, despite protestations that it’s supposedly a patriarchy.  There could be some debate about whether this is because women took it over or men simply abdicated but it’s safe to say that most houses of worship are hostile places for men.  I also alluded to the establishment of monasteries as perhaps the earliest roots of men going a different way from what society might otherwise want for men as self-sustaining communities that were able to exist and thrive apart from women.

The MGTOW mindset reverses the gynocentric brainwashing of men and introduces men to a lifestyle not dependent on female validation, freeing men from the all too frequent life destruction that accompanies giving women power over their lives – particularly through the most gynocentric of institutions – marriage.

90% of men’s life problems evaporate if they do but one thing – never give a woman psychical, psychological, emotional, legal, financial or spiritual power over your life. Nevertheless – media and religion push men to do just that – put their balls on the chopping block for women to destroy. Funny how that works. What would life be like for men if most didn’t give women this life destroying power over themselves?

Can you be married and be a MGHOW simultaneously? Can you be a smoker and a non-smoker simultaneously?

Hehe…well if there is a way to be a smoker and non-smoker simultaneously, I’m doing exactly that.  I’ve been vaping for a couple of years.  No fire, no smoke.  So maybe the analogy works better than I would have first thought.  Sure, I’m still getting nominal amounts of nicotine and possibly a few other foreign substances (I mix my own juice so I know exactly what is going into my tank) but it is not nearly as destructive as what I was doing before.  I LIKED smoking, even though it was bad for me.  But there was such an enormous overhead with the analog cigs that I was no longer willing to pay.  Burning the house down– that helped too.  But the bottom line is that I’m still engaged in part of the addiction but at the same time not as much and am in a better position to control my own habit.  I decide hoow much nicotine I get and have been decreasing it gradually to the point where it’s less than a third of where I started.  I’m working on it.

So I suppose as someone who is looking at being a MGHOW, I’m a recovering blue pill addict and doing it in the same purposeful, deliberate manner.  Weaning myself out where the emotional devastation that usually accompanies a man who gets blind-sided with divorce will be minimized.  The financial fall-out might take a bit more preparation but it’s the same.   The ‘nicotine’ of most married guys (or those seeking relationships with women) is sex.  That is the hook that women can use to catch and reel most guys in, and then they keep him strung out like a junkie, giving just enough to keep him hooked but not enough to keep him satiated.  In this way, I’m already ahead of most MGTOW fellows because I have been without for 5 years.  I quit begging for my fix and have learned to live without.  The overhead of sex just isn’t worth it.

MGTOW aren’t here to shame men that got married – we’re here to enlighten men on the increasingly destructive nature of relationships with women. Many MGTOW are divorced men or men that have otherwise been badly burned.  In the past 50 years, in the US alone, tens upon tens of millions of men’s lives have been destroyed by women through divorce. Every year, in the US alone, tens upon tens of thousands of men commit suicide. A man’s suicide rate skyrockets as a result of divorce – while women’s suicide rate following divorce remains static. 95+% of alimony and child support go from men to women – yet women are strong and independent. This massive, forced transfer of wealth (legalized theft and destruction of the patriarchy) has been going on for decades.

It’s right here where the voice of the presently married guys need to be heard.  MGTOW is dominated by 2 groups; the guys who have never been married and woken up before they got hitched and those who got burned.  In both cases, it’s people who have been disengaged by choice or by circumstance.  Those of us still in the kettle have a seat at this table because while the case is masterfully made about how divorce destroys the lives of men, there is also the effects it has on children.  And about half of these children are going to grow up to be men.  There is something to be said for trying to reverse some of the brainwashing and trying to raise boys who are more independent thinkers.  Guys capable of going their own way.  The guys who have no children can’t do that.  The divorced guys can, although part of the tyranny of family law is that often the role a father plays in the child’s life is marginalized after divorce, and the mother is then able to complete the indoctrination process unhindered.  Think about it: they spend an entire day in public schools where 95% of the teachers are women.  They go to church where women run the show and then go home to mom.  There’s no counter-balance except for those of us who are still in the mix.

Watch the debate on the Safe Campus Act. It will be extremely telling if it fails. If it does fail, with nothing similar to replace it, women will have won carte blanche to have men expelled from college after they have regret-sex or get dumped by their college boyfriends. Soon after that, women will push to have the same removal of men’s rights to presumption of innocence and due process enshrined in the criminal justice system – just as they’ve done with the VAWA. [Links add by me – DJ]

In the case of the Safe Campus Act, women won’t gain anything by the defeat of the bill that they don’t already have.  But both pieces of legislation cited above do point out the hazardous nature of being a man in our country today.  But they came about because of the hazardous nature of being a woman.   One of the unique things about MGTOW, compared to those who have advocated turning the clock back as traditionalists, is that it is moving forward in an assertive and non-violent way.  One would think that feminists who oppose violence against women and the objectification of women would jump on board and get behind this.  MGTOW is an anti-female objectification mindset.  It could be nicknamed the “Stop-thinking-with-your-dick” mindset.  It’s guys thinking with the wrong head that mostly gets them in trouble in the first place when it comes to women and often the violence comes when they aren’t getting what they want from the person they want.

Thanks for commenting and contributing, Tim!

 


Amiable but…

June 24, 2013

Less than fulfilling.  At least that is how this article from CNN put it.

The comments on this article are closed as apparently so many commenters reacted with hostility toward the ideas presented there.  Which isn’t TOO surprising considering the sort of feedback I’ve gotten over the years by people stumbling on to my page.  Those few souls who are regulars ( and you know who you are) already know the stuff I’ve tried over the years.  My blog has survived the test of time.  But like my marriage, it has seen its better days.

Of course *I* liked the article because it is a good and accurate description of my reality.  We’re in this trying to do right by our kids.  The research is very definitive on the fact that kids do better when living with both parents.  And mine are no exception.  They do not live in a house of exceptional violence or really even conflict.  We are basically amiable but not fulfilled.  It’s not the happiest of circumstances but it is what is and we’re trying to make the best of it.  We haven’t had a couples counseling session since the last blog update but not sure what the counselor could do for us except perhaps negotiate forward somehow.  The road ahead won’t be easy but it isn’t easy for anyone.  Suffering and hardship are just part of life and no one escapes. In the grand scheme of things, I’m not going to complain …much.

We are now in our new house.  As devastating as the fire was, it really was the only real way we were ever going to be able to do some of the things needing to get done.  There was no other way we were ever going to get a new house with new appliances.  Or a new car for Arwyn whose 16 year-old car died 2 weeks after the fire.  Through insurance, we rebuilt and provided quite a few jobs for people. We also enabled quite a few people to get rid of their own gently used stuff and feel pretty good about it.  I quit soking, moving on to vaping which is at least safer and healthier for those around me, if not myself.

Like one suggestion in that article, is my having my own room, which doubles as my office.  I do enjoy having my own space and my own bed.  I actually got a loft bed, and now my youngest wants one too.  It’s his perch of choice when he comes into my room.  There is a little concern that as I get older it might get harder and harder to climb the ladder into the thing or that I might fall down while getting out.  I just have to be careful about it and make sure I have the coordination slightly greater than a drunken college student while getting in and out. But got shelves, a little light and a small fan up there making it a nice cozy little space.  I got a bucket hung to slip in my laptop and another one at the foot to use as a sort of chamber pot so I don’t have to bother climbing down during the night.  Underneath I got closet rails to hang my clothes up.  A little pricey but well worth it, I think to create more space.

My main laptop just died so am currently looking at new ones, using my work one to write this post.  The CNN article was just too good to pass on or save as it has so much relevance to the theme of this blog.    At least this part:

If it’s possible, consider separate bedrooms. You’d be surprised how the creation of privacy and nonmarital spaces in a marriage might help. Already one in four Americans sleep in separate bedrooms or beds from their spouses. The National Association of Homebuilders predicts that by 2015, 60% of new homes will be designed with “dual master bedrooms.”

I’m not going to say Arwyn and I will never divorce, but right now this situation seems to be the most amiable one for us and our kids.


E-Cigs: An initial Review

April 17, 2013

Danielle asked about the electronic cigarrettes and when I started a reply I quickly realized this probably needed to be a post of its own.

I did not start smoking until the ripe old age of 25, and it was a way to self-medicate depression.  Then it became a a habit and an addiction.  The topography of a smoking addiction is complex because it is behavioral, physiological and emotional.  The nicotine goes straight to the pleasure center of your brain causing the nerves to light up and gives that feeling of euphoria and relaxation.  Unfortunately it is a short-lived feeling and over time that feeling lasts less and less long causing a light smoker to become a heavier one.

Over the past decade, smoking has become one of the most shameful and heavily taxed habits ever.  It is now outlawed in almost all public places, both indoors and outdoors.  The designated smoking areas are few and far between, always outside and always far away.  While people hate smoking for a lot of reasons, they seem to like smokers who tend to have more animated personalities in general.  I’ve noticed this often during breaks between classes or breaks during a job, the smokers would congregate in the designated area and lo and behold non smokers would also hang around there.  And often complain.

For my part, I have quit before, more than once.  The first time, my weight ballooned until I was morbidly obese.  So I started again, but also got serious about weight loss.  After I got down to my goal, I quit again.  I did regain a lot of weight, but not nearly as much and it was manageable for about 3 years.  And then I was unemployed and started again about a year ago.  Which continued right up until I burned my house down.

Soon after, I saw a Facebook post from a friend who used to smoke over a carton per week and was trying electronic cigarettes.  So I started to do some research and they seemed like they might be just the thing.  No fire, no ash, no smoke, no smell.  So I decided to give them a try.

The first obstacle at the moment is where to buy them.  While you can order them online that was not an option for me since…well..my house burned down!

Fortunately we have a relatively new Walgreens where they sell a couple different brands.  I just went with the Finity for no particular reason and got the disposable at first.  And then once I decided they were going to work, I went and got the kit, that includes refills, 2 battery units and a recharger pack.

I would highly recommend the e-cigs for a lot of reasons.    First, of course, no fire, ash or smell to contend with, which makes them more socially acceptable.  You can smoke anywhere. Second is that they don’t seem to impact health as much.  I breathe better and do not have the persistent cough I had when smoking the regular ones.  As far as cost, it is about the same though there are claims they save money.  I think they cost slightly more, but the benefits make up for any extra cost.

I happened to stumble upon Dr. Vapor who nicely explains the basics of e-cigs:


Where there is no smoke

April 17, 2013

SO nice to see some of my old bloggy friends chiming in and reading and commenting!  I have missed the old gang, such as we were.

My mind is all a-jumble about so many things.  A couple of weeks ago, my marriage was barely a blip on my radar and Arwyn was a hinderance and an obstacle.  But at the last counselling session as we were walking out the door, the counsellor kind of planted an egg: “You two really don’t fully understand how connected you both are, beyond even the kids.”

On Saturday we were moving things from our rent storage to one be bought on our property and were talking about some furniture she does not want any more.  “But you might want it or need it in the future.”  And so it was that reality has started to sink in.  And my youngest asked if I was going to sleep in my new office or with mom in the master bedroom.  So it is much on my mind.  And I think on Arwyn’s mind.

Last night she mentioned that her church was hosting childcare on Sat. Night and wondered if I would want to go to a movie.  This was unexpected.  And then she went on a bit about the move Home Run and after seeing previews, I could see why she might want to see it.  And want me to see it.  She has long talked about my computer addiction, so I’m sure there are anterior motives here.  Sort of like when she bought the video Fire Proof and then bought a copy of The Love Dare.…for me to do on her.

I am not going to buy any more relationship books.  About a month before the fire, I actually took the entire collection that I had and boxed them up to somehow get rid of.  The fire kind of took care of that chore for me.  But I’ve been there and done that.  The one exception might be Schnarch’s but as far as buying books for her to read, I’m done.

Oddly enough there is a sort of tension around the house that might be described as almost sexual if not for Arwyn being who she is.  Her and I have separate rooms, with her having the master bedroom upstairs and me having a downstairs one while oir house is being rebuilt.  And she has been hanging about more and more in mine to talk to me.  And admittedly, I’ve been more tolerant of her and her presence in my space.  Sure, I would like to hug on her and be affectionate.  But I’m done being batted away and rejected.

In any case, we DO have a date of sorts Saturday night.  Of course her entire church is going to be there because one of the pastors make some sort of cameo appearance.   So it is a sort of date, sort of her trying to manipulate or game and part her not wanting be the only one at the movie without a date.  But there might also be a part of her making some effort.

I’m not against her making an effort.  In fact I would welcome it.  I’m not going to do to her what she did to me, which is ignore or push away.  But I’m not going to take over, either.  I need to to see genuine, honest and enthusiastic effort and passion.

Arwyn and I have not kissed in prolly 2 years.  After our first counselling session she did reach out to hug me and I did hug her back, albeit a bit awkwardly having not done it for a long, long time.  But I am keen to kiss her just to test out the Finiti cigs that I have been puffing on for a couple of weeks.  It would be a sort of taste test.  A weak taste test, since Arwyn has never been one for open mouth kissing.  Her excuse was my smoking, initially, but I learned once I quit a few years ago that this was just an excuse.  But I would like to see if she and her uber-sensitive nose could detect anything.  At present, it has been pretty successful cause I can puff away in my room and would have definitely heard something if she had smelled anything.  I’m not complaining about her sensitive nose, since SHE was the one awakened by the fire, even though I was already awake.

Hehe…the Finiti slogan is kinda appropriate and is more meaningful for me:

“Where there is no smoke, there is no fire to put out”


One Way to Get Things to Change

April 14, 2013

After years and years of drifting aimlessly and without any movement whatsoever, it now appears that there is something.

After losing my SL GF, I set up an avi with my blog name, hoping that perhaps someone from over here might crossover there.  But alas, for whatever reason, that ship has sailed.  The blog world isn’t what it used to be and neither is Secondlife.  Blogging was at its peak arounnd 2008 and SL at about the same time.   Facebook might be partially to blame as it has been taking over just about everything non-Google.

Anyway, I did eventually meet someone else while in this new avi and it seemed like the most awesome relationship ever.  I invited me into my little RP world and she became an elf and she quickly became MY elf.  Life was wonderful.  Except for a couple of things.  First I had an actual job requiring me to not be inworld.  And I also still have vestiges of a lofe outside of the internet with my kids.

All of this came into a glaring and frightful head about a month ago.  I was online with my elf girl and it was about midnight.  We were chatting and were actually having a bit of an argument about me continuing to be friends with my old fae GF. It was not the best chat in the word because I might have had a little wine, too.  I took a time out and stepped out on the patio for a smoke.  I hastily put the cig out in a peat pot and went back in and resumed the heated online conversation.  Of all the STUPID things.

About an hour later, I heard a ruckus in the kitchen as Arwen had gotten up.  She was sleeping in the other room and woke up.  I heard her cry out “FIRE” and I knew.

What happened next was a frantic blur.  I closed my laptop and quickly walked to the window of the patio to see it brightly lit where it should have been dark.  I open the garage door and Arwen presumably went to work getting the kids out.  I went to get the garden hose.

My thought was that I might be able to yet get this thing since it was confined to the patio.  Problem: My hoses we all on the covered patio.  I reached for the first one I saw and it melted in my hand while the inferno was blazing around me.  I did manage to get ahold of a decent spool of hose and drug it around to the side of the house where there was a spigot.  I looked up as the flames climber toward the peak of the roof on the outside toward the electrical wires.  I realized was not going to win this fight.  At all.  I left the hose and ran to the front of the house where Arwyn was crying because she could not find one of our cats.  My youngest was crying about us now bwing homeless.  And my oldest…..I did not see.

I went back into the house and found him sort of wondering in his room as the house was filling with smoke and got him out and then proceeded to grab my two laptops, phone and wallet.  By this time the fire department was there and and after fidding with the hydrant in our lawn that did not work managed to get a hose from another down the street.  I got our cars out of the garage (Getting Arwyn’s involved grabbing keys from the burning kitchen behind a fireman) and was finally able to make use of the garden hose to wash and cool the burns I received during my aborted fire fighting attempt.

I did end up being ambulanced to the local burn clinic where I spent the night.  And I was relieved when I learned that the second cat had been located and rescued.  So everyone made it out okay.  I got 2nd degree burns on my face, hands and arms but was otherwise okay.

So, needless to say, things have been a bit traumatic this past month.  The house is pretty much a total loss.  We salvaged some things, but most of it is smoke and water damaged.  The fire had gotten in the attic and went all the way through.  One silver lining was that we happen to have a super insurance plan so have been fairly well taken care of on that score.  We also have two churches that have really stepped in and helped out in lots of ways.  We have a wonderful place to live at the moment while our house is being rebuilt.  The rebuilt house is going to be far nicer and better than the house we originally bought.

And this has changed our relationship, Arwyn and I.  I’ll get to that in a separate post since this mainly provides important background information.  But one could argue that a fire was literally lit under us.  Is it good or bad?

I suppose it depends on how you look at it.

As far as my SL elf, I was all over in love with her, but when the going got tough, she got going.  A week after the fire, with my hands bandaged and barely able to type, we called it quits.  She basically got tired of me not being there for her.  Nevermind my house burned down and I was burnt!  So getting out from under that was a blessing though she played her own role in helping me to see that Arwyn and I were in a deep stalemate that was bound to break as soon as one of us met someone else.

One of the hardest things about this fire was the fact that I started it from my own carelessness.  And EVERYONE, without exception ALWAYS asks “How did the fire start?”  My stock answer is “Stupidity” and try to leave it at that.  Qutting smoking is a bear and even though I did it before, I knew it was going to be bitch to go through that again.  I discovered e-cigarettes and that has worked really well for me so far.  I’m not a super heavy smoker, but there is a huge relief in having no smoke and no ash and no butts and no smell to worry about.  I have not told Arwyn yet, but will do that before my next post just so I got something fresh to update.

We are back in couples counselling with a different counsellor.  And true enough, I think maybe things would have been different if we had her in our earlier attempt.  But then again, maybe no.

 

 

 

 


Them’s that dies will be the lucky ones!

June 29, 2012

I went looking for some new blogs to link to while thinking about links that are now empty and lifeless, but it proved to be more daunting of a task than I remember it being when I started out.  I started out reading a blog or two but can’t seem to remember how this little group came about that seemed to sprout up from no where.

I think I just started writing and people started to show up.  And then their blogrolls became incorporated into mine and we just started exchanging and swapping bloggity fluids.  So I guess that’s what I’ll do again….just write and see who shows up.

I’ll never forget a comment left by someone who visited me years and years ago.  I don’t remember her name because she didn’t comment very often.  But she reflected the thinking of a lot of low libido women at the time when she said “No one ever died from lack of sex.”  I am not sure if that is true or not, but if they did, I might paraphrase Long John Silver’s quote in the title “Thems the lucky ones”

Because although few have ever died, the ones who don’t die inevitably suffer.  And the suffering goes far, far beyond a simple case of blue balls.  I’m all over that, meaning I am well past the stage of having an itch that needs to be constantly scratched.  There is such a thing as “Too Much.”

But there is also such a thing as too little.  How much is too little?  That is an individual thing would be my guess and changes throughout life.  I remember another frequent commenter and person on my blogroll for a bit who blogged about her husband always foisting himself upon her and she opined that she could not wait for him to reach the stage where sex was no longer a priority in his life.  I wonder if he ever got there and I wonder if she is as happy about it as she thought she would be?

I am not clawing at Arwyn anymore.  Not even close.  Physical affection is just not happening…ever.  I can not even remember when the last kiss was.  And she does not seem bothered by that.  And neither do I.  But the collateral damage is something that no one considers when the Low Libido (LL) person succeeds in extinguishing that drive.  And there is collateral damage.

My drop in sex drive is matched by an accompanying drop in interest in most things social.  I used to be an extrovert and the life of the party.  Not all of that is directly correlated with the lack of sex as Life started taking over, but the most precipitous drop in interest in other people does follow my lack of sex drive.  When I realized and began coming to terms that my Wife did not want me, I suppose that infected a lot of my thinking in that no one else wanted me either.

When last I was blogging hot and heavy, I had just completed the rather astounding transformation in losing 50 punds, quitting smoking and my career was on its way up.  I was as good as I ever was, or as good as I was ever going to get.  Then we entered into the marriage counseling.  The biggest thing highlighted by that experience was that I was willing to put effort into the relationship but Arwyn was not.  And not just sexual.  Anything.  Period.  For her, it is all about the kids.  I am an asterisk and a footnote, if that.

SOoo..where am I now?  Jobwise, I am getting ready to enter a new and promising phase of temp teacher work.  There is a future on this path if I can carve it out.  Time will tell if I have the will and gumption for it.  “Gumption”…there is a word you never hear anymore.  Probably because it is such a rare commodity.  And I would not use it to describe much I’ve been doing the last couple of years.  We’ve been getting by, and not much else.  I can still save and be frugal like a champ, but all the savings is long spent except for a recent series of stuff that has enabled us to stay afloat.  One of those being SNAP otherwise known as food stamps.  Never thought I would be one of THOSE…but I am.  And working to try to get out from under but it will be a protracted struggle.

Weight.  Ugh.  I am a full-blown couch potato.  Not so much TV as internet stuff.  Secondlife sorta took over Real Life.  I’ll blog more about that a little later as it does weigh in heavily on a lot of fronts.  But over the last 5 years, I have managed to gain back every last pound I pounded out.  Not exactly a boost to the SMV, is it?  But even at my lowest weight, at 185 or 190, Arwyn never showed much interest.  Yes, she would have sex occasionally but it was not because she couldn’t resist the new me.  She did make a comment that she did enjoy being able to wrap her legs around me once.  And as far as I remember that was the only time she ever did.

Smoking.  Well, as long as I am suffering, I might as well self-medicate right?  I was good for about 2 years with maybe 2 packs of relapse until February when I bought a pack…and then another in April…one in May…2 so far in June.  You get the picture.  However, prior to that I was going through boxed wine almost as fast as packs of cigarettes!  Yeah, I loved me some wine.  It was not exactly a social thing although I was on SL most all the time while drinking…and since others were drinking while THEY were on…I guess it was kinda social! Haha!  But it was privately social.  Socially private.  It was me and my computer late at night while everyone one else was sleeping.  Me and my posse of other avatars.  Prolly helped lead into the weight gain, though I never thought of wine as a high calorie item.  It’s fermented fruit, how can it be bad?  Fruit is supposed to be good for you, right?  But I haven’t bought a box in a couple of months, so I’m sorta done with that for the moment.

Ahh…the catharsis of just getting all out there!   Not sure what to do about it all at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll get some advice.  The blog world lives for that sort of thing.

SO…this is me.  Everyone has to start somewhere, and this is my start….again.  The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  We’ll see if I make it out of the parking lot.

Addictive


July 20, 2009

Thank you all for the well-wishes, and a special shout out to those who came back from the past for either nostalgia or simply google-stalking me.  It’s all good….I think.  I’d like to address each and every one of you, but it is that time of the month when I need to update you on my train wreck relationship/life.

FTN wrote something about vacation sex, and while I had more sex on my vacation it was with myself since Arwyn did not go with me to visit my folks in Iowa.  She statyed behind with one of the kids while I took thwe other.  and much fun was had by all.

I will say that the post-vacation sex was pretty awesome, even while being unexpected.  Usually when I’ve been gone in the past for any period of time, she isn’t in any hurry to reconnect sexually.  And while I’m not sure she was that anxious this time, I was and it turned out to be good for both of us.  At least it seemed to be as good for her as it was for me.  There was a certain passionate steam that she built up that was pretty awesome that I haven’t seen in a long time.  Maybe I should get a job as a trucker or something, if being away helps this much!

We’re slated to re-start counseling in a week, and I have no idea where we are going to go with it.  While the latest sex was hot, the overall relationship is not really moving along that much.  I’m not fighting, complaining, whining or struggling so much but that has more to do with a certain amount of acceptance and resignation on my part.  I sometimes feel bad about the sex I wish I was having and am not having, but I’m also thankful for the sex I might not otherwise be having that I am.  Yes, I could have chosen a different woman, but I didn’t and I thank God for the wife he gave me.  I’m too old to be woman-hopping.

I also need to thank God that Arwyn wasn’t as picky in her choice as she probably wishes she had been!  And she did have a number of other suitors pursuing her back in the day.

So I have mellowed out overall which probably explains the dearth of blog posts this past year.  I don’t really see why I would change unless things took a dramatically new direction.

Other issues…

My weight is totally creeping back up again.  I suppose I could go back to blogging my weight again and kill what little readership I have left!

I’m still off the smokes except for the 3 I had back in Iowa.  That was not so good.  For the most part, I don’t think about it, but when I do there is a pretty loud mental chatter that happens to try to entice me back.  Those things are SO seductive and cruel!

Speaking of which, (or not) no new things on the chastity theme.  I still like reading about it and it would be fun to do with my wife if she was game but since she’s not, the cage stays in the bathroom drawer.

Spiritual thoughts:

FTN did mention something about reading NT Wright and I ended up picking up a couple of his books.  Surprised by Hope is pretty good.  I do regularly attend Sunday school at the Methodist church but not so much the worship service.  We’re in the midst of changing pastors at the moment, but since I’ve not been so plugged in I’m not so affected as much as the rest of the congregation.  I also found and began reading True Believer by Eric Hoffer.  It’s all about mass movements and has special relevance to the way things are going today, even though this was written almost 50 years ago.  I don’t subscribe to everything he says, but it is all worth thinking about.

More to the point of the spiritual theme, God is most definitely involved in my life in many ways and on many levels.  I’m not going into great details, but sometimes things get to a point where the constellation of circumstances becomes too complex to be explained by random chance or anything short of some sort of cosmic conspiracy.  Stuff just happens.

So coming up for next month we have more counseling, Arwyn’s birthday and our wedding anniversary!  Any of these might make for more interesting blog fodder.  Stay tuned!