October Update: New Series on the New Old Blog Edition

October 24, 2009

I’ll try to get to comments before posting this, but the most universal reaction was to Arwyn’s testimony, especially about her marrying me because she thought that is what God wanted her to do.

We have not discussed this, but perhaps we need to. But I’m not sure exactly what there is to discuss. While earlier in our relationship Arwyn did claim that she thought we were together because God intended it to be so, I was under the impression that there was also some underlying attraction toward me. But this seems to be a mistaken belief. Or if there was some sort of attraction, it was very tenuous, at best. Whatever attraction there was, it’s pretty safe to say that it was not a physical attraction. Lots of women have been attracted to me for my mind, my morals, or my sense of humor. But my looks? My body? Not too many, although there seemed to be a few who enjoyed me. At least I have those memories and I have no regrets about them. Being wanted just for my body might get old after awhile, but being stuck in a state of body-lessness gets old in a hurry too. I’m glad I have had times when I could share physical enjoyment for the joy of it instead of for some other agenda. For most of the life of this blog, that agenda was basically her doing me because she wanted me off her back or because was feeling guilty. Either way, not a lot of room for enjoyment there.

As for me, I was trying to get what I thought I had coming, or deserved or just trying to satisfy the proverbial itch. Not a ton of room for enjoyment there, either, as I was always left wondering how long it would be until we would have sex again. Counting and keeping score were all symptoms of that mindset. How long could a body play that game until they drove themselves nuts?
So the result is, is that my sex drive has decreased markedly over the past year. I don’t want to have sex with someone who would rather clean the cat litter box than be naked with me. That’s not to say it has disappeared altogether, but it’s a lot easier to scratch my own itch rather than bother with someone who is so reluctant to do it for me. If it’s that much of a chore, I’m not going to bother.

So I found another outlet, and have been blogging it, but not publishing it. I was wondering where and how, and now I know. Sensual Dementia rides again! Warning: it won’t be safe for work. Bad news for a lot of you, but my long suffering fans of kink are about to hit the jackpot.

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Photo Shot

March 13, 2007

This morning I was awakened by the early morning wood trying to bust out of the cage at around 5 a.m. Normally, I would try to to sleep through it or use the bathroom and try to go back to sleep.

However this was not such a morning. No, I got up and used the bathroom but I did not go to bed. I went to the computer, instead. And sure enough, there was the combination to the key. Always Aroused Girl is nothing if not dependable. I only regret that she couldn’t be here to personally deliver it and unlock me. I unlocked the lock, and re-deposited the key into the Shurlock. In a few days or weeks I’l forget the combination, anyway.

While Arwyn was taking her shower, I grabbed the camera and hopped back into bed and watched the morning news. And to stretch out. I removed the cage, leaving the ring on with the locking post. After Arwyn emerged from the bathroom, fully dress, she darted out without so much as a look. All to the good.

First, I did some cleaning of the cb3K and its assorted parts. Then it was time for me and my cock to get re-aquainted. And just to up the ante a bit, I decided to see if the aneros could assist.

Let’s talk a bit about male masturbatory habits for just a second. It would be fair to say that most guys can do it just about any time, any where if there’s enough stimulation and urgency. However, we do have certain times, places and methods we prefer. And there are methods we do not prefer. For me, I’ve never been into stroking off in the shower or in the standing position.

I’ve had an orgasm in the standing position exactly once, about 5 years ago while Arwyn stroked me off while we were together in the shower. It’s hard for me to think of an encounter with her hotter than that one. Afterwards I commented that I had never come standing up before and her reply was, “I imagine you could probably get off just about any where or in any position.” I never was sure how to take that remark.

So in order to meet the agreed upon conditions, I had to be laying down. Plus I had to take a picture. It is then that I experienced another first, aside from taking this sort of picture. This was to be a photo shoot in the most literal sense.

My most favorite hand might be Arwyn’s. But when I’m solo-ing, I am a definite righty. And I quickly discovered that cameras favor the right with a view finder on the left and the button on the right. Taking this shot one handed was going to be a challenge, to say the least. So I decided to stretch myself even more and go left handed. It was almost like having a new partner!LOL!

So with aneros and my hand working away and some extra lube and with over 2 weeks of confinement, you would think it would be as easy as gravity, right? Right? It took some extra time and concentration and while holding the camera and worrying about the big shot. The money shot. This was a lot of pressure! In more ways then one.

But I persevered and finally the moment of truth came. I came. And my sore cock and balls felt some relief and relaxation for the first time in a long time. But Mount Vesuvius, it wasn’t. I was totally nonplussed. I waited over 2 weeks for THIS?

I got what would be hardly described as a money shot. More like a loose change shot. The-quarter-under-the-couch-cushion shot. I definitely need more practice. I definitely need to find my mojo, as this is unacceptable.

D.

No, I am NOT posting the photos.  So consider yourself spared …for now.


Okay, I think I’m ready

March 12, 2007

That last entry was written earlier in the week and I kept fiddling with it and finally just slapped it up there to have something new.

The malaise was and is real enough. Arwyn is on some sort of emotional hiatus this past week, so there’s no help to be gotten there. I needed a bit of inspiration so I decided to grab some of Altarboy’s latest stories. Most of these things do not really hit my buttons. The guy who inherited his aunt’s alien domme…there were possibilities but it never did much for me. The one written by the girl who crosses dresses her brother…again there were possibilities but, meh. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose, not that I’ve been doing any of that lately.

However, the one about the wedding surprise did manage to hit my buttons, making the cage seem too confining. I was keen to get some fun on.

Arwyn had taken the boys out for the day, and I was dealing with a slight headache. My normal cure for a headache when I have the house to myself is locked away and unavailable so I had to resort to some aspirin and an alternative activity. But I didn’t get anywhere, meaning there were no super O’s or even regular O’s or even small O’s. Just frustration. I’m suffering from pleasure deprivation.

Yes! I am finally admitting to suffering! My balls are now carrying many times their accustomed load. My member has forgotten what playtime feels like. I miss having fun and using my body as an amusement park. I just miss the freedom of knowing the same pleasure as every other married guy out there who is married to a sexually unresponsive woman. Namely having sex with someone who loves him for himself.

I want out. Not in a sexually ramped up, horny kind of wanting out. Not in a feeling-backed-up needing-release sort of way. But in the same way a person feels when they have spent a week or two in another country and culture and is ready to go home. I miss my cock. My cock misses me. We have suffered through many dark times together and are likely to suffer many more troubles and indignations. We’ve been lonely but at least we’ve been lonely together.

So, AAG, what say you? Can I go home now?

D.

 

 


Always Aroused Girl

March 6, 2007

Just the name becomes the stuff of fantasies. Who wouldn’t feel delighted to have their girl be always aroused? Who wouldn’t be turned on just by the thought of having a girl around who was always aroused? Well, apparently there’s at least one guy out there.

Now to be perfectly honest, I can see where it might be slightly bothersome sometimes. Like a cat who always decides to trip you up at the worst time by rubbing on your leg, or the dog who always wants to hump your leg and everyone else’s who walks in the door. Okay, yes. That could get old in certain circumstances. But come on! I like to think of it as a constant opportunity, sort of like having a stove that has its pilot light always lit and simply needs just the right turn of the knobs and >poof!< the flame is on!

If someone didn’t like having their girl always aroused, why would they take her home in the first place? Why take home an always aroused girl when you have no use for her arousal? What an incredible waste! It’s like a person taking home a fine thoroughbred horse who has no intention of ever riding her. What sense does that make?

I’m embarrassed to say I can’t remember exactly when I came into the presence of AAG. It might have been a comment she left, as I had a post or two that was getting a lot of airplay in the sex blog world when she made her debut. And we did sort of run in similar circles, blogwise. And hers was almost a mirror image of many of the same issues marriage-wise. We were natural kindred spirits. We both were sex bloggers who were writing all about sex but not actually having very much sex. We wrote about the sex we would like to have, and wondered if we ever would.

Always Aroused Girl became a major player in the sex blog universe by virtue of the rich textures she used in her writing, conjuring up sadness, and anger as well as lustful desire and even laughter from her readership. She almost always provokes her readership to chime in and participate. She makes each person feel like part of her own inner circle. As a writer, her touch is inviting, welcoming and accessible. Some bloggers come off as being larger than life and are inaccessible. That’s never been the case with AAG, who is nothing if not fairly humble in her writing. She’s very real. Definitely the girl next door…don’t we all wish?

Over the last couple of years, I have followed along on her adventures. I’ve even been inspired to imitate some of them such as taking advantage of myself on the couch or sticking toys up my butt. But of course, no one can do these things with the flair that Always Aroused Girl brings to the experience.

I considered a few of my fellow bloggers for the job of key holder, but there really was no doubt as to who was going to get asked first. After all, what better compliment is there to an Always Arroused Girl than an Always Aroused Boy? And truly the best and only way to make sure that your boy is always aroused is to lock him up and hold the key!

She has opined as of late that I have not been begging sufficiently. She is, naturally, correct. However, I think what she might really mean is that have not sufficiently projected my horniness. I really need to work on that, because what good is an Always Aroused Boy if you have no idea that he’s aroused?

I have my virtual eye fixed on AAG, make no mistake. When I dial up, I am checking my email and I am visiting her blog several times to bask in her aura. Oh yes. I am drawn there.

Having said that, I’m also mindful that I am married and my real eyes are fixed on my wife. There might be improvements afoot but these are slow coming and will take some time.

I’ll give up more on that a bit later. But in the mean time I’m just thinking how fun it is being the Always Aroused Boy for our favorite Always Aroused Girl.

D.


Curve v CB3K: A Brief Comparison

March 3, 2007

Last night, I went to bed fairly early and was asleep by 10:30. And lo and behold I slept all the way through the night until 6 a.m.! Perhaps my body is finally adjusting. This in no way diminishes my sensitivity, though, which you can take on many levels.

AAG wanted to see what the cage looked like when it was filled, so I tried playing around and taking a few pictures. Thing is, the CB3000 does not look at all impressive when it is filled simply because the whole thing can’t be more than 4 inches long. An expanded member will fill it up but then half if it ends up inside the body, which puts pressure on the bladder which is why a caged guy has to pee more than usual. Plus a CB3000 is a more enclose tube which makes stimulation more difficult plus makes it harder to see. It is a much more comfortable device but not so photogenic.

The Curve is just the opposite. It is a much longer, more open tube that has a very severe downward curve (hence its name). I honestly can not remember seeing any pictures of one that was filled and I never took any when I was wearing it. I do own the Curve but haven’t worn it much since getting the CB3K. For one thing, it is so long that is really CAN be seen easily by someone zooming in on your crotch. In loose pants, a body just looks like they have a big package but when sitting, the bars of the cage show and that’s a little too creepy for the average Joe or Jane Vanilla. Since it hung and bulged more, it wasn’t as comfortable. It is a more cruel device in many ways. Since it has a more open design, it can probably hold up for longer wear without as many hygienic concerns. Also, the more open design means more flesh is exposed which means more stimulation is possible. And the more stimulation there is, the more sensitive skin is poking out the bars causing more stimulation…

But the length combined with a severe downward bend made full erections challenging and sometimes more painful. The only time I could really easily fill the Curve was in the shower and totally frustrating myself with a liberal amount of soap. It felt so good but I was never able to get off. The CB3K sort of points down but it is a less severe angle and shape which might make orgasm more possible.

The Curve was a second model put out by the Millers, the makers of the CB3K and CB2000 (which was the first). It also introduced the hinged handcuff-style A-ring. This allowed for a tighter fit with a lot less trouble getting it on over he solid cockring that came with the CB2K. However, there were a lot of problems with this, especially the hinge creating a pinching pressure point just at the most sensitive part of the scrotum. There have since been some improvements made to the handcuff style A-ring but I never did upgrade. I simply wrap the hinge with waterproof first aid tape to keep my nut sack from making contact with the hinge.

The Curve appears to be thicker and stouter material than the CB3K, but I have managed to split both devices down the seam more than once. I finally found that Delcon Liquid Weld Epoxy is strong enough to keep both halves secured much better and longer than whatever the Millers were using. However, my repairs have given both cages a dirtier appearance than they had originally. The brownish resin makes the CB3K look like I’ve been wearing for years instead of days or weeks! And that’s one reason I haven’t been big into taking pictures of it.

I wouldn’t mind trying to take pictures of a filled Curve but I first need to get out of the CB3K I’m wearing now. Maybe y’all can put in a good word for me with the ever-luscious mouth wateringly delicious AAG!

One more thing worth talking about:

Arwyn has not mentioned one word about me being caged. However, she has been more and more vocal about her approval of me and my recent behavioral changes like getting up earlier, spending more time with her and the boys and such. I’m thinking she has got to know by now. She really has been more demonstratively affectionate in recent days. Those kisses have lingered just a bit longer as have the hugs and she’s been initiating almost all of it. I always respond in kind, I’m just wary of trying to put too much pressure on her. But it does feel really nice even as it ramps up the frustration factor.

D.


Night #6

March 2, 2007

Last night was rough in a serrated jaggity kind of way.

I went to bed around midnight which has just been my usual bed time for a long time. I knew I might be in for a rough time so I decided to see if the Aneros might help.

It didn’t. In fact it might have made things even more adventurous. The idea was that having that in would provide a competing distraction that might fend off erections and the pulling tightness that brings. But that wasn’t the way it worked at all! In fact, I was probably harder a lot longer as that thing was working my prostate while the cage was gripping my cock. It seemed like my erections were longer, stronger and more frequent. Night 6 was definitely the toughest, so far.

I know there are folks scratching their heads over this whole chastity cage thing. What’s the big deal? Why endure it?

First off, a body has to appreciate sexual arousal and anticipation to appreciate chastity play. If you’re all about the orgasm and not into foreplay or the build-up, you will not be able to wrap your mind around this concept at all. If it’s Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am, then be on your way. That’s not to say you can’t be impulsive or enjoy a good orgasm. But this is about savoring the sensual electricity that courses through a body during that building phase of tension before getting to the orgasm. Now imagine that build up lasting several days. Maybe even weeks.

It’s about the reforming of the mind and getting into the richness that is subspace. As long as it continues to build it truly is a rich, sensual buffet for the erotic pleasure centers of the brain. As long as I’m willing to give into it, I am fed and energized by it. That’s why I’m doing it at this particular time because I’ve got some extra pressure at work. And true to form, wearing the cage dissipates the stress by generating a much more pleasurable tension.

Emily brought up a valid concern about pursuing Arwyn and it just being about sex. That would just create more resentment. But at present it is all about enjoying her touch, no matter how small and just enjoying her presence. Like this morning we were watching the weather while lying on the bed and we just held hands. Such a simple thing but it really did push me ever deeper into subspace. Just thinking about it now lights up whatever electric blue neural pathway with the current jolting away at a swollen member wanting to be free of its prison.

It appears that I’m right in the sweet spot where the tension is really, really high and senses are at their peak.

I have a feeling I’m going to be in for it even moreso tonight. Better get this in and see if I can get to bed earlier.

 

This is probably what I have to look forward to after AAG finally lets me out! (perhaps NSFW)

D.


A Bit of an Unexpected Twist

March 1, 2007

 

 

AAG may have an unwitting ally.

 

Or maybe she knows what she’s doing but not knowing she has an ally. 

 

Last night, as I predicted, was rougher than the one before.  I woke up a couple of times and had to get up one of those times to relieve the early morning wood.  But otherwise, I was able to let things subside so I could get back to sleep.  Unfortunately, I overslept.  However, there was an odd turn of events that basically put me on the fast track to the on-ramp.

 

I woke up at 5:30 but somehow managed to wait and was able to get back to sleep.  I woke up over an hour later; I’m going to be late!  Actually I had a shot at making it, but there was a bit of a problem.  Arwyn was in the shower.  Now to anyone else at any other time, this would be more of an opportunity than a problem.  Arwyn is usually in the shower by 6:00 a.m. but not this morning.  I usually let her be because she has complained about that being her only time to have for herself and she really hates being ogled over.  But not this morning.  I came in and brushed my teeth and shaved, thinking about what I was going to do next.  I was pressed for time.  However, true to form, Arwyn put herself into some royally high gear to get out of there and get safely wrapped up in her towel in order to get out and leave the bathroom to myself.  I met her, embraced her and we had some extensive hugging/kissing time.

 

Whoosh!

 

I found myself in subspace or something very close to it as the cage tightened and squeezed.  I gazed into her eyes one more time before one last kiss and me dashing into the bathroom and her dashing out.  I had to steady myself a bit as this was totally unexpected and threw me as much off balance physically as it did emotionally.

 

I’ve noticed the past few days that Arwyn has sort of softened up around me.  Does she know I’m wearing?  I don’t know.  I have not spoken to her of it as she has made it known that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with it.  My perception could be off as it is under the influence of ever-increasing subspace.  My feelings could simply be changing more than her actions.  It’s hard just accepting without being wary.  I can’t assume she’s acting a certain way just because I wish it were so or that I would act a certain way if I were her.  We are so fundamentally different when it comes to sexual response.

 

One more thing is worth discussing, here.  I was actually relieved when she vacated the bathroom.  Normally I might have been offended but not this time.  Wearing the cage turns me into an even more shy of a recluse as far as being naked around her.  So I’m not going to be prancing around naked and flashing the cage off to her.  This doesn’t mean that Arwyn isn’t curious, but she is not exactly turned on, either.  While I would rather be looked at like a T-bone steak, I’m more often looked at like the bearded lady.

 

However, while I am secured, she seems to be more secure with showing physical affection.  At least she seems to respond to my overtures, and I’ve felt like making more of them lately.

 

If Arwyn decided that she wanted sex tonight, she knows she can ask any time.  I have been locked up before when she initiated, when the Timelock was running, and have resorted to using the bolt cutters.  AAG is aware of that particular stipulation, namely that Arwyn still rules in that respect.   So given that particular rule and AAG’s talking about the symmetry around the season of Lent, I actually have a bit more of an incentive to be a bit more aggressive in pursuing Arwyn than I have over the past year.

 

D.