50 Shades of Grey

I was reading the Wikipedia for this book, and it brought back memories of my former life..or rather the  earliest and best of my blogging here.  I wonder if I ever virtually met the author of this book?

Kink is finally hitting mainstream!  Well, more power to those it is helping but I’ll wager that most of the ones who would pick up this book do not really need it.  Although going to the workshops might amp up the action a bit.

But even tho Arwyn has a Kindle there is no way she would ever even touch a book like this.  Ever.

Not much to update here, but I might as well winge just a bit.

Remember last year’s Valentine’s Day?  It’s only two posts down, if you care to look!

V-Day 2012 was almost an exact duplicate.  It was kind of funny if it wasn’t so sad.  I bought a funny card and I gave it to her after I got home from work.

“Oh…I didn’t get you anything”


Like so many of my commenter/fellow bloggers in this boat, I am eerily okay because frankly having autistic sex has no appeal to me.  I would rather do without and spend the time pixel grinding in second life or watching a movie or …well even blogging to you all.  And I have blogged to you all more than I have had RL sex in the past year. 

BUT I am also too keenly cognizant of the message my boys are getting.  They see that Mom doesn’t kiss Daddy or give him anything for Valentines day or that there really isn’t any affection between us anymore.  As my oldest enters the maelstrom of his teenage years, I’m not exactly sure what to tell him.  I’m not sure I have any constructive advice to offer.  Tell him to wait until marriage? 

I’m not much talking to Arwyn anymore, not because we have nothing to say, but because she really has very little to say that I want to hear.  I have spent nearly 15 years getting batted and pushed away.  It’s not worth the effort trying to get close.

It does bleed into other areas of life, for sure.  I am more disengaged with life than ever, underemployed and without any real vital energy.  My weight is about what it was before the big weight loss campaign back in 2007.

I think back on my days at the farm.  There was a reason we castrated the male cattle.  It was to make them docile and fat.  And that is largely how I feel much of the time. 

I hate to end on such a downer but since I DID write about Valentines Day….


7 Responses to 50 Shades of Grey

  1. 2amsomewhere says:

    You know, Digger, I think I would have said the same thing about X back in 2007 when she was deriding Nancy Friday fantasy compilations as being a bunch of stories about sex with animals. But, lo and behold, when I stopped by the kids’ dance school on Tuesday night this week, X had a copy in her possession, and a bookmark part of the way through to indicate that she had made substantial progress on reading said book. I almost said something to her about it, but I figured that with the kids in earshot, it would be appropriate. Glad to hear you’re still around. I think about you and the rest of the blogroll whose RSS feeds once kept me very busy. I hope that things do get better for you someday.

  2. So Gone says:

    Well, Digger, I see not much has changed – I’m sorry for that. I’ll give you a little update so I no longer blog. I’m married (a month in, lol), and finally happy. Let me in on a little secret that I’ve learned (my husband has already been married before), and that alot of my female friends have learned – divorced men are the best kept secret. They want a commitment and have learned lessons already about marriage, compromise, etc. Just sayin’. 😉

  3. Dave says:

    I’m sad to see it’s no different for you, that’s a shame. I can relate to your worries about the kids, too- it’s not great to have them seeing that this is a “normal” way to relate to your wife/husband; and it’s hard to tell them anything different, when they see personally that “that’s not how *my* mom & dad acted”… I hope that you find a way to work something for that, too.

    Have you read the books? Just curious..

  4. Xavier says:

    What have I to say but ‘good’ to hear you’re still around. A bit.

    Don’t be a stranger.

  5. Talude says:

    About 30 pages from finishing book 1. The writing is terrible. I find myself mostly irritated at her orgasms. I even thought there was “too much” sex.

    What you said about castrating cattle is so true it’s sad.

  6. FTN says:

    Hey look, it’s like getting the old gang back together!

    Just stopped by to say hi. Sounds like things still suck for you, I’m sorry to hear that. I think in your shoes I’d also be worried about what your kids are seeing as the “model” of marriage. My wife’s parents slept in separate bedrooms for most of their marriage, and in fact that’s what she grew up experiencing as “normal.”

  7. First of all, it is nice that you still blog occasionally. I’ve let my posting slack also. It all seems so depressing, really. Anyway, I can’t really offer you much help because I have my own issues to iron out. Having said that, has Arwyn been told that she is sinning? It seems that the Apostle Paul said that the only reason to marry was to save one against the sin of fornication. Therefore, if the spouse is withholding, then the spouse is going against Christian doctrine. I’m against divorce as the next person. However, Arwyn has, in essence, abandon you. That was not what God had in mind, when he created marriage.

    You might want to check out Athol’s “Married Man Sex Life”. He writes a blog and has published a book. Basically, it amounts to taking control of one’s marriage. If the wife doesn’t want to play along, then he advocates ending it. I realize that life isn’t always so simple. I would urge you to at least look at it.


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