50 Shades of Grey

May 16, 2012

I was reading the Wikipedia for this book, and it brought back memories of my former life..or rather the  earliest and best of my blogging here.  I wonder if I ever virtually met the author of this book?

Kink is finally hitting mainstream!  Well, more power to those it is helping but I’ll wager that most of the ones who would pick up this book do not really need it.  Although going to the workshops might amp up the action a bit.

But even tho Arwyn has a Kindle there is no way she would ever even touch a book like this.  Ever.

Not much to update here, but I might as well winge just a bit.

Remember last year’s Valentine’s Day?  It’s only two posts down, if you care to look!

V-Day 2012 was almost an exact duplicate.  It was kind of funny if it wasn’t so sad.  I bought a funny card and I gave it to her after I got home from work.

“Oh…I didn’t get you anything”


Like so many of my commenter/fellow bloggers in this boat, I am eerily okay because frankly having autistic sex has no appeal to me.  I would rather do without and spend the time pixel grinding in second life or watching a movie or …well even blogging to you all.  And I have blogged to you all more than I have had RL sex in the past year. 

BUT I am also too keenly cognizant of the message my boys are getting.  They see that Mom doesn’t kiss Daddy or give him anything for Valentines day or that there really isn’t any affection between us anymore.  As my oldest enters the maelstrom of his teenage years, I’m not exactly sure what to tell him.  I’m not sure I have any constructive advice to offer.  Tell him to wait until marriage? 

I’m not much talking to Arwyn anymore, not because we have nothing to say, but because she really has very little to say that I want to hear.  I have spent nearly 15 years getting batted and pushed away.  It’s not worth the effort trying to get close.

It does bleed into other areas of life, for sure.  I am more disengaged with life than ever, underemployed and without any real vital energy.  My weight is about what it was before the big weight loss campaign back in 2007.

I think back on my days at the farm.  There was a reason we castrated the male cattle.  It was to make them docile and fat.  And that is largely how I feel much of the time. 

I hate to end on such a downer but since I DID write about Valentines Day….