It has been a LOOooong time since I updated. Kudos to you for checking on me…whenever it is that you do.
Seriously, I have really not had anything happen that I found terribly blog-worthy. Perhaps my standards have gone too high, but more than likely I have settled into the dull futility that so many other guys (and women too) settle into after fighting and struggling for years and years.
But tonight it IS blogworthy because it is V-day. Everyone wants to talk about love and romance. My coworkers got onto me because I had not made a big deal out of it. I had bought a card already that was funny and entertaining and witty that our kids I knew would enjoy. Not too sentimental, but cute and sweet. But one of my coworkers convinced to also buy a card that WAS more sentimental.
My wife teaches at a preschool where they hold a huge V-day party every year. She goes to a church where the love of men and women is preached resoundingly every year, altho it becomes more of an admonition toward men then a message of love for both. But in anycase, the message is out there and the airwaves are saturated.
So she was keenly aware of what day it was and the expectations involves. And she also knew how low mine were, but she did make a pre-emptive move just in case. For when I got home from work, she made sure that I knew that she has had a headache for the past two days. Funny she never mentioned it yesterday, but oh well.
And I gave her the first card, the funny one. “Oh…didn’t get you anything” she said as she took it. Byt she opened it and we all had a good laugh as she opened it and the funny cartoon voices told about o’s and x’s being hugs and kisses and not ox, altho you could hug and kiss an ox if you wanted.
But I knew then that she would never see that second card. It would simply induce more guilt and grief on her. The reason why I waited until late in the evening was that if I gave her the card in the morning she would have run out to get one just to keep up…not because she was feeling any particular sentiments toward me.
This used to be a holiday when I thought I could look forward to some romance and yes…sex. It took about 10 years to absolve that notion from me.
I’ll be drinking some wine and be in-world in my second life tonight, definitely.
Hope you all have abetter vday than me!