In a comment to my last post, MP suggested that we have a computer-free night. And frankly, that is a wonderful suggestion, except our therapist suggested it first.
And so it was, that we designated Thursday nights as our official media-free night. That means no TV, no computer or any of that. Once the kids were in bed, it was just us. And the first week, it was very, very nice. There was talking, affection and sex. It was a nice experience that I was keen to repeat. But when I came home form work a week later, Arwyn was on the computer. I figured she would finish whatever she was doing and once the kids were in bed, we would have our media-free night. But this did not happen as she stated she had a lot of work to complete in preparation for her teaching class the next day for her preschool job. The next week there was some sort of special event at school for one of the kids that derailed everything and exhausted us both and that was the end of that. Arwyn just was never able to commit to it just like every other time we have tried to do some sort of date night, special night, couples prayer time or any routine that involves us connecting without the kids. We do manage to spend a fair amount of time during the week to talk about the kids and schedules and logistics. But apart from being parents, there isn’t much else going on with and for each other.
My feeling is that Arwyn wants me to just be lying about doing nothing but waiting on her. And she really could have that but it would take more work commitment than she’s willing to put into it. So the real story is that she doesn’t want me for herself and doesn’t want me to have a life of my own.