She shut the door to the bedroom and locks it. I peer out from behind my laptop.
“Do you want some time?”
Wow. Okay, this is kind of unexpected. “Do you want to?” I inquire.
“Don’t ask me that. What if I don’t? But it’s 9:45 so the time is kind of short. We need to get on with it it if we’re going to.”
I have a couple of ways to respond to this, but her and I both know there is really only one response that is going to work unless I want to go another couple of months with nothing. It’s a clear case of her having the goodies, and me being in a state of starvation. It was actually less than an hour after posting my previous post, in fact.
There was some good holding and kissing and nakedness that took place. I do like it when it happens, which is why I resent it being such a rare occurrence. As every behaviorist knows, a lean and variable schedule of reinforcement is the most effective way of maintaining a certain behavior.
“Was it worth getting off the computer for?” she askes.
“Ummmm, yeah it was.” I answer in the dark. “Was it worth missing some sleep for?”
“Yes!” Her own enthusiasm and lack of hesitation sort of surprises me.
We both missed more sleep as we talked longer about more stuff. Nothing at all heavy, just logistical stuff involved with raising kids. This was the middle of the week, so that made it more surprising. But she had just gotten back from a therapy session, so maybe that had something to do with it.
So it isn’t all cut and dried so easily. Sex does happen sometimes, and I like it when it does even if I have to sort of not dwell on her particular approach to initiating. I’d like there to be more intimacy within sex play that was not so goal intensive, but that is mega difficult when I am under such a lean schedule. I would like to be able to engage in sex play when I wasn’t starving so much and could enjoy it more for the fun of it instead of out of some sort of need. I would like there to be more play, but for Arwyn that is asking an awful lot.