Just some New Year’s Thoughts…

I saw a question on the christian Nympos blog that really perked my ears up where a guy asked how he can tell whether or not his future wife will be a Christian nympho:

Since I’m not supposed to have premarital sex, how can I tell if a woman will be responsive on a regular basis after marriage?

How does one find out if a girl is sexually healthy, active and willing to experiment with out sleeping with her?

Of course I did comment and you can read the edited version of it on their website. It was edited, because I included a link to my own site weighing in on the topic with considerably more detail.

I feel kind of bad about that link being stripped out, but I also sort of know why they did it, since many of those things can not be known until after one actually has sex, and having sex outside of marriage is wrong. But with just a bit more investigation, it is apparent that while their site may be a great help to many, they really are not too interested in being an open community. No trackbacks or even links to commentors own blogs. And that makes me feel a bit bad for the guys who are asking questions over there, because those women are mostly there to help and support other women. Oh well. Keeping folks like that on the RSS is just an act of frustration. Good resource but women like my wife have absolutely no interest in a site like that.

I’m rereading the Schnarch book, as the insights gained there were so key to the progress Arwyn and I made last year. It enabled me to not be so defensive and handle the rejection better which eventually began to help her move in a more positive direction. While the therapy sort of jumpstarted things and brought some accountability to bear, we have not managed to get to any real depth in almost a year.

This past year, I did manage to meet some important goals:
1. We did break the 2 year sex drought and intimacy went forward before it slid back.
2. I got my weight down to a low of 187 before gaining back to 207 Still working on it.
3. The weight gain was largely caused by quitting smoking. Smoke free since July.
4. Other than the house, we are Debt Free!
5. I’m playing solidly in the standard level in Stepmania
6. Still on Supaeasy on FoF (which will work with any PC compatible guitar controller)

So, much progress has been made over the last 12 months, it will still take a lot of work to maintain these things. I could light a cigarette today and still enjoy it. And the weight creep and debt creep are constant threats. But the intimacy battle is the big one.
2009? Who knows? I like the idea of continuing to reinvent myself in new ways and become a better me. None of these things would have happened without God providing the means, the strength and the grace to follow through. Only God knows the plans He has for me and it is going to be an adventure no matter what.

Hoping the best for all of you in 2009!

3 Responses to Just some New Year’s Thoughts…

  1. Dave says:

    I’m glad you met some of your goals, and just as importantly I think, that you recognized that. Many of the things you mention as ongoing struggles are the same for a lot of us, but you’ve got the best help of all, knowing that God is there for you is such a huge thing compared to many.

    Hoping that you have all the adventures you want in ’09, and meet the challenges well.

  2. Tom Allen says:

    In some email exchange with Cumingirl (see, I can spell it right), she explained that they prefer not to link to blogs/sites that have inappropriate language or pictures. They try to agree on whether or not anyone backtracking the link will be offended by the material.

    Don’t take it personally. They have set a policy and are trying to stick to it in order to reach as wide an audience as possible. I certainly didn’t expect them to link back to me, and I noticed that they even delinked my WordPress icon. It’s their blog, and I don’t blame them. However, a net-savvy reader can probably use the name to figure out if that person has a blog of their own.

    I should also mention that I like the idea of a site that is mostly women supporting women. IME, when more men begin posting on a sexuality-related forum, it tends to chase the women away.

  3. Digger Jones says:

    Thanks for stopping in, Dave! Somehow I think I’ll end up having MORE adventures than I want in 2009. I’ve found adventure to be overrated, especially when on is in them. They do make for good stories, tho.

    I do support them with what they are trying to do, Tom. And you are right in that they can do a better job of it without s bunch of guys around. It’s a site FOR women BY women. So I’ll probably end up checking in from time to time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: