Exposure

I’ve been thinking about FTN’s blogger Meet-Up this weekend, and wondering what I’m going to do about my own blogging situation. There’s a part of me that would really, really like to be there hobnobbing with the folks who I have been virtually hobnobbing with for the last several years. In fact, y’all are not a problem at all for me.

It’s not you, it’s me.

Or rather it has been about a lot of the content that I have subjected my readers to over the past few years. As I noted in a comment below, I was more of a sex blogger when I wasn’t actually having sex…with someone else. I guess that’s because I had more time, energy and frustration to channel into this hobby! I was also channeling more kinky energy into it, and the kinksters loved me for it. They love everyone who is willing to channel that sort of energy, and the chastity community was particularly generous. They have more frustrated energy to channel than most, though. That is probably the one storyline that might keep this blog alive. If I ever get into that again (with Arwyn’s full participation) then I would definitely need a place to write about those experiences and an anonymous blog is the perfect place for that. At least for me…Tom Allen has really managed to make it work for him right out there in the open with assorted (or sordid) pictures. He’s got more courage and skill than me. Maybe when I get to be his age…

There are a couple of issues tugging at me. One is one Xavier recently had to deal with. That is balancing his level of exposure with his need to be anonymous. He was really “getting out there” with pictures, blogs and even some videos while sharing some of his inner world with us. When he was outed, he ended up having to sanitize his content in order to avoid pissing off his wife. It’s just lucky he didn’t go dark altogether. In my case, there is a desire to extend out more. I do have another blogiverse that is open, legit and out there and it is also infinitely more popular than this little corner of the universe. Trouble is, it is respected and respectable and read by really important people. If you type certain words into Google, that blog is the first thing that pops up. Arwyn hears from some of her friends who like reading it. She feels ambivalent about that level of exposure, even as minimal as it is. She would totally melt down if this blog got out to THAT population! And so would I.

So this blog (and all of my blogs linked to it) have become liabilities to that other universe. I would have no problems whatsoever with any of you going over there. I might even have slipped that way a time or two and have even invited a couple people over there when I thought they needed that information. But those folks could not survive the glare, shock and awe of coming over here! Then, yeah, the whole place goes dark pretty much instantly.

My Unsolicited Advice Blogger Site might be able to survive that sort of purge just because it was designed to stay pretty sanitized as far as personal content for just that reason. If I needed to get rid of personal posts, that would be the last anonymous fall-back position since it isn’t very widely read anyway. But it might be worth reading and looking at what I wrote way back in July. I saw this crapfest we’re in coming from a distance.

Arwyn. She is TOTALLY not down with this sort of thing. At all. Her exposure here, by virtue of the prevailing theme and storyline, is very extensive. If she ever got into this archive, it would probably slide us back into the stone age, marital progress-wise. The further we get, progress-wise, the less I am willing to risk it all. This blog ends up being a liability on that front. It’s just a mine waiting to go off. There’s no way I could possibly sanitize it, short of nuking the whole archive, which might be the way it goes.

So here’s the deal. While I do have some video content, it’s always from the waist down. The day I decide to give up the schizophrenic/multiple personalities/many faces dilemma, you all get get to see me full-on. No, not THAT, ya pervs! Besides, you’ve already seen it if you’ve been reading me long enough! But I’m already working on something that would be a finale of sorts. It wouldn’t be me closing a door as much as opening up a brand new one. At least that’s the theory.

Which brings me back to the original thought of FTN’s little convention. You folks will have a bit of an advantage of a sort in you know each other on a different level. Yeah, it will be interesting to see how he negotiates the oral sex topic or if he ends up going dark after everyone pesters Autumn about why she isn’t giving that up for him before he goes and finds himself an intern or something. Or the comments to Desmond about his Monkey Business. Good times!

I’m having issues with the anonymous blog life and the RL digital life and bridging the whole business of the public (and personal) trust. Sex blogging and my real life occupation do not intermix so very well. In fact, they don’t mix at all. But I haven’t been that good of a sex blogger for quite some time. My traffic is way down. My single most popular post was written in 2005 when I wrote about sticking something up my butt. It out did my next most popular post by a 4:1 margin. I peaked out when AAG was my keyholder and her thousands of fans mobbed my little site. Before the move to WordPress, I could draw in 350 hits a day. Now, I hover around 50, unless I really churn out content and then I can score about 100. And that really is fine, because I’m not looking for a high profile here. I like the few regular readers and friends that I have. It’s a more intimate and friendly crowd, even when we bicker about stuff.

Anyway, I am seriously jonesing for some news about the Indie meet. I just know there was some naked hot tub action!

Hopefully someone brought a video camera.

D.

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11 Responses to Exposure

  1. 2amsomewhere says:

    I’ve put up a post that should give you a general idea of what happened, even though it mentions no names:

    Blogger Get Together Post Mortem

    Wish you were there, Digger!


    2amsomewhere

  2. C-Marie says:

    The same thoughts have crossed my mind more than once… when the breach has been breached – then what?
    Don’t get me wrong – it would have been wonderful to meet those frequent fliers from the Blog world but I’m sure blogging after a meeting of sorts will anticipate a kind of change in the blog atmosphere all together. Or will it?

    I dread the day you decider to go “dark” again. *sigh*

  3. diggerjones says:

    Thanks for the update, 2am! I’m a little disappointed by the lack of a hot tub, tho. The Organizer should know better. I wish was there, too.

    C-Marie, I think it is just sort of a transition. Maybe things will change, although I’m looking forward to FTN blogging about some hot sex in the hotel, so at least there’s that. Those of us not there, can keep thngs honest and real. And I don’t intend to go dark, as much as step into a new light. I’m contemplating how to put this into the motion, like password protection or something. But I’ll see.
    D.

  4. C-Marie says:

    well, whatever you decide – just don’t forget about me!
    xxoo

  5. Cat says:

    I have only met Fusion so far and it was painless. But I will admit I don’t really have issues with the blog exposing me. Aside from my mom or my ex I really don’t care if people I know read my blog so I don’t really care if those who read my blog meet me. I feel like we are so closed off from anything outside of family, co-workers, and friends that any opportunity to meet someone or build a friendship with someone outside of my comfort zone is a plus. I will admit that because you used to write so harshly about your appearance I had this image of a 300lb guy in my mind. But after seeing the black sock videos it became clear you are not a reptile, just a regular guy.

  6. Trueself says:

    Like Cat, I don’t really have issues with my blog exposing me anymore. I wouldn’t necessarily want W to read it, but then again if he did it wouldn’t be the end of the world to me. It’s a place where I get to say what’s on my mind, the good and the bad, and not worry about who might read it. I just go on the assumption that anybody who ever reads it knowing it’s me had darn well better get over themselves if they can’t handle what I say. Would it lose me friends? Maybe. Then again, I’m not sure I really wanted them as friends anyway.

  7. Desmond Jones says:

    Funny, nobody ever mentioned the monkey thing. . . Even funnier, because I had actually intended to bring along the actual ‘Monkey from Detroit’, to pass around as a little show-and-tell, but I forgot, and left it in the car. . . I briefly considered buying a ‘Barrel of Monkeys’ game, and passing around monkeys to everyone as souvenirs.

    Molly would like me to show my blog to my pastor, just for the sake of ‘accountability’. And I understand, and even sympathize with her reasoning. Honestly, other than the sexual stuff, I really wouldn’t have too many qualms about it. But, you know, there’s just enough stuff there that I’d just rather not have to explain. . .

  8. diggerjones says:

    Wouldn’t dream of it, C-Marie! Cat and Trueself, you both are alike in that you are really open and out there and I admire the heck out of your courage! You’re both honest and at times delve into the slightly pervy territory. That’s why you’re worth reading!

    It seems like that monkey wine would have been just the thing for this party, Desmond! And the souvenirs would probably have gone over well. As for showing your blog to your pastor, isn’t going to confession enough?!? I don’t see too much in your blog that would get you into trouble. You’ve written about sex, and so has Molly. But you write about loads of other stuff about love and life. I can’t think of anything you’ve written that would qualify you as kinky, just sexually…um…healthy!

    The kinky theme of my blog is one that was just sort of dropped. I feel like I need to give that side some better treatment because I still have some thoughts along those lines.
    D.

  9. FTN says:

    I see what you mean about the kink — it seems easier for you and Arwyn, when working on going from a “no-sex” marriage to a somewhat sexually healthy one, to sort of back off from too much of the kink that might frighten the wife. And maybe it’s good that you aren’t focusing on that stuff too much right now. I don’t necessarily have the same, um, proclivities, but I do try (TRY) to keep in mind that the intimacy and sexual closeness I’m working on aren’t 100% dependent upon certain sexual actions that are not happening.

    As for as the original idea of your post up there, I’ve had similar wonders with what to do with my own blog. Sure, Autumn knows about the blog, but I have a lot of icky history sitting up there that isn’t really helping things with us, plus it’s just waiting to be discovered by a friend or family member and make for some awful awkwardness. Especially now that going out of town to a blogger meetup has made it fairly evident to my friends that I have an online “secret life.” I don’t really like having secrets. And I have close friends that are pretty smart, I can’t imagine it would be impossible for them to find me.

    It wasn’t really surprising to see over the weekend that no one really talked about sex and libido and all of that. I’m sure it would have made Autumn feel awkward had it happened, but it just didn’t. Because honestly, even those of us that talk about it on the Internet all the time would probably feel awkward talking about some of it face-to-face.

    Or, maybe, it just takes a lot more alcohol to have that kind of discussion in person. And as far as I could tell, no one really went overboard on the alcohol.

  10. aphron says:

    I’m pretty sure I’ll never disclose my identity. If Sybil and I divorced, then I may. Otherwise, nope. This goes along with the question of whether or significant other knows about our blog. For me, my blog has always been a peek through the crust of normalcy to view abnormalcy.

  11. Desmond Jones says:

    Well, true, we don’t have many (any?) ‘kinks’ to us. But my pastor (I’m talking more about my community ‘pastoral leader’ than my confessor) might wonder why I’m talking to internet strangers about crotchless panties and sex in the car (and maybe all the moreso, since I haven’t ever talked about those things with him; I don’t know. . .) 😉

    And FTN, it was interesting – I had my ‘men’s group’ on Tuesday night, and the wife of the host was very curious about our weekend trip, and ‘oh-you-have-a-blog’ and ‘what do you blog about?’ (*sigh*)

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