I’ll get into the birthday goings on in a bit, but I wanted to take just a minute to mourn the demise of one of my all time guilty pleasures. Chelsea G, Summers (Who I will always know as Chelseagirl) the writer of Pretty Dumb Things has announced the end. She’s hanging up the blogging life to move into hopefully more profitable pursuits.
I’ve been on just a bit of a blogging blitz recently, and I’m reminded of all the work that is required to be a good blogger. First, there is generating the post itself. That’s actually the easiest part of all, once a body gets in a frame of mind that they want to write. But then there is the work that goes into finding relevant links to include in order to support or enhance the post. This is what makes blogs such a richer medium than just a regular newspaper or magazine. Then including any other media involves a lot of extra work. And then there are comments. I find in community blogs, it is nice to respond to comments. The other side of being a good blogger is to read the blogs of others and comment on them. So there is a fairly substantial investment that goes into blogging that can get bothersome and burdensome. I totally get why many people give it up after a period of time. A blog can often be like a demanding child with various people and projects clamoring for attention. The more famour you are, as a blogger, I imagine the more demanding it gets. Chelsea was pretty far up the blogging food chain, plus she seemed to always have many other projects going on. She really and truly seemed to enjoy and thrive on all the attention. She was complimented endlessly on her writing, as it was like reading smutty literature. She was a sex blogger who was skilled beyond anyone else I ever read.
Her content was her own life. Her blog was her own story on her own terms interspersed with advice and other random thoughts. I did not read her blog every day. I didn’t even read it every week. Instead, I subscribed and would download her posts in big bundles sufficient to be several hours of reading. Just like any good story, I found it much more satisfying to consume My Pretty Dumb Things in huge, hearty helpings. In the early days, it didn’t take long to accumulate a lot of material. However, I’ve noticed that it might take a month or even several months lately. Since I have less time for reading and blogging than my own early days, this has suited me well.
So I was surprised to see her very short, direct message today as I was configuring the RSS feeds on a new OS. I still subscribed in the hopes this was another angsty emo moment for Chelsea. She was very much prone to these episodes, many times threatening to pull the plug in the past. She often wondered why she kept blogging and posting. It was a part of the attraction. I like angsty bloggers, even though it can be a taxing and frustrating experience. The more I like angsty bloggers the more I get frustrated by their circumstances, by their emotional responses and by the crazy way they seem to invite drama and conflict, often through no direct fault of their own.
Chelsea rolled out the red carpet for high drama when she became consumed by the thought of getting married. She wanted it so bad, she could taste it and she really went after the man she was madly in love with. To her credit, she didn’t get the marriage bug until after she had found the a man she wanted to marry. But once the worm got into her brain, it really consumed her.
I knew at that point that Chelsea had not been reading me, because if there is an antidote to this desire to become legally entwined, it should be me and my little blogging community. I have always been a collector of relationship train wrecks as well as other various sorts of sex and relationship blogs. For the majority of her tenure on my blogroll, she earned her place as an excellent sex blogger who often forayed into relationships. But this past year, hers was among those relational train wrecks.
Her intense desire to get married bugged me beyond words, which is why I never blogged it before or even commented. She seemingly had such a good thing going, but it was not good enough. She wanted to press further and harder and the more she pressed, the more things spun out of control. The unhinging of her relationship to Donnie is in direct proportion to the amount of pushing she exerted on him to commit. That pushing was a direct result of her dissatisfaction with their relationship status and much of that might have been driven by some of her past experiences and turmoil with relationships.
Not that I have her figured out. I don’t. But her writing had the power to provoke emotions and thoughts and not all of them were welcome. But mostly, I richly enjoyed the experience of luxuriating in the warmth of her words and wit. Even as I was often frustrated by some of her choices, I was also strangely comforted by her choice to share it with all of us. She liked us and we adored her for her generosity and an honesty that could be very raw at times.
I feel pretty lucky to have been a faithful reader for most of the years she’s been around. Sometimes our content overlapped, but most of the time our lives were total polar opposites, which is another reason I liked reading her. We have radically different views on pretty much everything: lifestyle, religion, politics, music…pretty much everything except our age and I think our birthdays are pretty close. But I still liked her, despite the differences. Perhaps it was because of those differences. Her life looks so exotic and exciting compared to mine, but at he same time filled with its share of tragedy. I don’t think I’d trade but have enjoyed living bits of it vicariously through her blog. Good luck, Chelsea. I’ll miss you!