An Update Amidst The Drought

After not blogging for so long, it’s kind of difficult to get back into it, especially for one like this, that has a sort of narrative theme. It would seem that I have some catching up to do.

After the last encounter, Arwyn made good on the date night the next week despite the fact that she was tired, and truth be known, so was I. So afterward, we were lolling around in bed and she asked if we could move our date nights to Friday nights. That reflected my thoughts exactly, so it was easily agreed upon. This meant waiting an extra few days for the next date night, but I was okay with that. I’ve had to wait a lot longer than 10 days before, it’s not a huge deal.

This did come up during our joint therapy appointment, and the therapist was very keen on the idea of scheduled date nights. We also discussed the fact that I was entering into my busiest and most difficult time of the year, much akin to 2Amsomewhere’s Death March where I work crazily long hours and fall under a considerable amount of stress. The therapist brought up the idea that it was during such times of stress where physical intimacy might be even more important to keep the connection alive. That thought resonated with me. With Arwyn? Not so much.

Thursday came, and Arwyn had a doctor’s appointment to get her hands looked at, as they were bothering her from carpel tunnel syndrome. A shot of cortisone in each wrist and a few hours later, she was in such bad pain she could not move either hand without being in serious pain. The boys and I had to feed her, which was good for a laugh and did lift her spirits quite a bit. The fact that date night would be a wash was a foregone conclusion, and I knew she couldn’t help it, so no big deal. But she really made no special effort to offer a rain check, either. And she felt well enough to do some extensive shopping on Saturday, blowing a small fortune, but not enough to push my cart, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Still, she complained of minor pain so I didn’t make a huge deal about it.

But as time wore on, it became more of a huge deal, but I had no time to talk about it because I have been so busy trudging through the trenches. Another week goes by and Friday night comes. This time we were out late at the kids’ baseball game and both tired. She at least apologized for that and then went to do other stuff so I could watch Battlestar Galactica. Thank goodness for decent TV! And then today she was complaining of all the stuff she had to do, and there was a very, very noticeable lack of enthusiasm and urgency in getting the kids to bed. I helped move them along but she was so not involved. I guess the whole Mother’s day clause has kicked in already. I plan on either cooking something good for her or going out to eat. Going out to eat on Mother’s day involves a huge hassle factor as everyone…and their mother…are eating out.

So I figure if I’m not having sex for several weeks it’s worth blogging about!

Our therapist was sick last week so that appointment was canceled. If I wasn’t going to bring it up last week, it will certainly be a topic for this next week. No we haven’t hashed it out, and that has been costly but I’ve been extraordinarily busy. In all fairness, she’s feeling a considerable amount of her own stress, too and I have not been very available in any sense of the word to support her very much. There hasn’t been much intimacy at all and I feel I need to deal with my stresses on my own as she’s not willing or able to be available.

Perhaps a gardening update will be more optimistic:

I’ve had fresh lettuce and asparagus for the past month, and it has been mighty nice. The radishes didn’t amount to much. While parts of Georgia has enjoyed some regular rain, my part has not. I emptied my rain barrel last weekend in anticipation of it being refilled the next day. That rain never happened. We did get a brief shower of a couple tenths on Wedensday, but the anticipated rain of today totally blew by or around us. We’re going to be dry again this year and I’m going to need another rain barrel or two or three.

My garlic is ready to dig up and I think the elephant garlic should be ready. I’ve never planted the elephant variety before, but it must be ready as it is shooting up flower stalks. They look a bit weird so I might let a couple of them bloom just to see what their flower looks like. The tops aren’t dying back like the other variety, so I’m not sure when theyare supposed to be ready short of pulling them up.

Pole beans are coming along as well as some sugar snap peas. The beets didn’t make it and I’m not sure if the bush beans will. Casualties of our fickle weather. Tomatoes look good as they always get the most of whatever water I have. Blueberries look real good, as they should since they had the year off last year. Peaches don’t look good at all, but the almond tree is loaded. Those can double as peaches in a real pinch, and they’ll probably have to this year again. One apple tree totally did not make it, another looks sick and the third looks like it might be okay but we have never done overly well with apples here. And the plums have never produced anything. I think I’ll be using the prolific branches to build supports for my other stuff. If they happen to get whatever blight is going after my apple trees, I would feel bad about cutting them down.

The blackberries look good, as they always seem to do well, even during last year’s drought. They aren’t the stars that the blueberries are, but they certainly are dependable. Keeping the weeds down while giving them space to run a bit is the biggest challenge. and the garlic chives do what garlic chives do best; grow like crazy! I need to find more uses for them.


6 Responses to An Update Amidst The Drought

  1. aphron says:

    I remain hopeful based on the progress you two have made. Relationships, like life, have a sine wave: ups and downs. You’ve been in the trough long enough. Hopefully, this is a little blip on the radar.

  2. Cat says:

    We have been surprisingly lucky in the rain department. I must admit I am very happy to see green in my yard. And shrubs I thought were dead after 5 years of drought have come back with a vengeance. I have to agree with Aphron, besides like gardening I have to believe sooner or later all your hard work will bear fruit.

  3. Xi Summit says:

    Stick with it man, I’m sure it’s frustrating but even so there is now hope. Ya know?

    Sounds like you garden is well on its way. Keep at that too, garden therapy is a good thing!

    On the garlic, smip them seed pods right off or the bulb will slow down or stop growing. And always wait for the tops to die back otherwise the shelf life will be significantly shortened.

  4. rezult says:

    … was a very, very noticeable lack of enthusiasm and urgency in getting the kids to bed …

    Uh huh. Well put. Haven’t we all been there?

  5. Emily says:

    Well, I’m pretty much in death march mode, too. I do find it makes a difference though, if I make small gestures – saying how happy I am to see him when I get home, giving him a kiss, talking about the good stuff we will do together in a few weeks time… intimacy doesn’t have to be full, a momentary connection can really help.

  6. diggerjones says:

    Ha! Aphron, it’s sort of like that. My latest analogy comes after watching a PBS special about some folks who climbed Mt. Everest. They were nuts but none seem to regret doing it despite losing team members and limbs.

    Cat, the rain has been nice here lately and my garden does produce but there’s always stuff that don’t quite turn out in a particular year. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m getting better!

    Xi, I took the pods off everything except a couple of plants because I’m betting the purple flowers are going to look nice. Elephant garlic is new for me this year, and while it has done okay, my soil might not be loose enough for the bulbs to get huge. The regular garlic is all done, braided and hung to dry. Seems Georgia is perfectly suited for stuff in the lily family as I’ve had success with it all so far. Other stuff…not so much.

    Rezult, I think most guys have been there. The rest put there wives there! It’s such a battle, sometimes. But I’m getting closer to a point where I can see some of the work paying off. It’s not an undertaking for the weak, tho.

    I’m coming to the end of my March, Emily, and it has really been exhausting and bloody. You’re right, just getting some small gestures out there can help. Hopefully you’re getting through yours as well. Get rested and recharged for the next one!


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