Those of you following along know what happened during date night. Those of you who were not following, might want to do so now before proceeding.
Thursday morning, I got up to do my part but Arwyn got up while I was taking my shower and got into the routine of getting the kids off to school. Thursday night, we did talk about it. She reiterated that she was tired, and I understood that, but I told her she could have given me some prior notice rather than leave me hanging right up until the moment in question. She apologized for it and I tried to get across how it really made me feel and truly eroded the trust that we have been building. Yes, she has been trying to do things differently but if the same stuff keeps happening, it looks kind of like that old business as usual. So she suggested we try it again Friday night. I decided we could as I could be in a better spot than right then and there. Talking and hashing it out did help to keep from repressing stuff and carrying it around forever. When a body carries resentment around, it never gets lighter, it only gets heavier no matter how small of an issue it is.
As for me, I had to work on leaving the resentment behind and moving on. That took some work. There was also some talk about the previous encounter where Arwyn did feel some pain while we were doing it. That would explain the avoidance, and again I told her that letting me know soner rather than later was a better way of dealing with things. However she was still keen to try Friday night.
Friday night she did hold up her end of the bargain. She got the kids to bed at a decent hour and we were able to spend some naked time together. By this time, I was in a better spot emotionally and it was possible to be relatively fun and playful. She’s still defensive about most types of intimate touching but I was able to accommodate and move on past that. More or less. My body needs a lot more practice in this new climate where there is a more extended time of nakedness preceding the Main Event. The Main Event lasted all of about 2 minutes for me, which isn’t exactly the road to get Arwyn where she wants. She was actually feeling pretty good and was trying to grind into me, but things just were not being cooperative and my whole orgasm just snuck up on me and ambushed me out of no where. We didn’t exactly hash that part of it out but she assured me that there was no pain involved this time. She did make an appointment with her gyn doctor on Thursday for sometime in May, as she hasn’t been in a couple of years but I think that pain issue always will be lurking around in the background.
Kind of a discombobulated post, here!
The Saturday morning routine of letting Arwyn sleep in was a lot easier on me as we do have the youngin’s trained to sleep or at least stay in bed until 7:00 and I was able to get breakfast and she was able to sleep in for a few hours. So hopefully that part of the arrangement made our time together time well-spent while we work on other things. So many issues…
So yeah, there is progress here. I think we have come a long way, but we have miles and miles to go. The good news is that we have a lifetime to get there and at least I feel like we’re traveling in the same direction together. Date night is a difficult thing to stick with just because it is that thing in the schedule that will be the first to get shucked if everything isn’t exactly right. I think there’s profitable lessons to be learned in working through whatever obstacles and issues there are instead of avoiding them. Avoidance has not worked for me in the past and working through things (especially the most difficult issues) seems to work better.