I was watching Animal Planet with the boys and we were watching a program about moose.  One thing that became pretty clear is that for a bull moose, life evolves around the rutting season which is about right now.  Their massive antlers, their energy stores and behaviors all revolve around getting a chance at that mature female.  The more massive that rack, the more impressive they are to a female.  It’s not a lot different with humans, only instead of antlers we seem to be prized for our massive wallets.  A nice butt never hurt anything, tho, or so I’ve been told. 


The title is not so much about my weight, since I continue to lose pretty steadily.  Perhaps this will be the week I finally get under 200 pounds.  The title came to me while doing my daily Stepmania play.  There are 4 basic levels: beginner, light, standard and heavy and occasionally a 5th level sometimes called insanity.  Levels are also measured in “feet” which basically indicates the number of steps on a scale of 1-10.  1 and 2 foot levels make up a beginner level although they can also be considered “light.”  Increasing foot and level increase the speed and style of play.  I have a number of songs that I made into steps myself where “heavy” is 4-7 feet.  It involves a lot more quick steps than a light or standard level with the same number of feet.  My homemade steps are generally easier than regular Stepmania songs but they still stretch me out.  Today I was mostly on heavy mode, just lucky to survive with a grade of “D’, but it’s still progress.  When I started, “light” seemed almost impossible!  So all this nerdy talk translates into a much more strenuous workout going from 60-80 steps per minute to 100-160 steps per minute.  So when 220 steps per song used to get me thoroughly winded, I’m now stretching upward to over 300.  And getting a real cardio workout!


Okay, moving on for those still reading…


I have cited many reasons for losing weight, mostly health related with financial and competitive incentives thrown in.  But let’s be perfectly honest, here.    There’s also an element of vanity present.  I not only want to feel better, I want to look better.  I’d like to look good for the mature females during the rutting season.  For most of my marriage, I have felt totally unattractive.  I’ve relied on brain power for attraction and not spent any time on my body.  After all, more brains usually mean more income potential or so logic would indicate.


Okay, I’m doing it for me, yeah.  This is fortunate since while Arwyn has noticed my weight reduction (and corresponding snoring reduction) she hasn’t exactly been wallowing in my rut, if you get my drift.  She still sleeps with her head at the other end of the bed wrapped in her own blanket on top of the bed covers.  She will sometimes tolerate some hugs and kisses, these are not happening very often.  It’s a war I have grown weary of fighting  


A couple days after my anniversary I did take off my wedding ring in a dual experiment.  First, I wondered how long it would be before she noticed.  To her credit she noticed inside of a week.  When she asked why I had taken it off, I said it was cutting into my finger, which is partially true.  It wasn’t painful or anything, but that deep band-shaped dent…I was wondering how long it would stay there.  So that was experiment #2: how long does it take for the tell-tale indentation of a wedding band to wear off?  So far it is still there after over 2 months and it is still there although there is no longer any tan line.  I could wear a class ring or something to camouflage it if that was my intent but it isn’t at the present time.  I have the wedding band on my keychain so it is still with me wear ever I go.  I’m not sure how much longer to run this experiment, because if it takes longer than a year…well that’s longer than I’m keen to drag on this particular study.  Maybe a reader out there can give me some real data to render it academic.  I wore it over 10 years so I wonder if there is some sort of formula for answering the question.   


We’re otherwise getting along okay.  I decided to match Arwyn’s contribution towards her debt and we sat down last month and went over the statements together.  This is going to have to be a monthly thing until those debts are paid off.  She’s okay with it so far so at least we seem to be on the same page.  If she wants to get something extra at the store while grocery shopping like a music CD, I don’t make a fuss at all.  I’m trying to let her know it’s okay to indulge a bit as long as it doesn’t put us into some sort of hole.  Outside of that setback, finances are fine. 

BTW, I weighed in this morning…






10 Responses to Heavy

  1. Dave says:

    All RIGHT! Congrats on hitting 200; but don’t be surprised if it takes a while to consistently get and stay below, sometimes (as you’re no doubt aware) there’s fluctuations as you work down.

    Good to hear that you and Arwyn are dealing with her debt, but it’s too bad you’re not getting any closer to intimacy.

    Hang in there- and congrats again!

  2. FTN says:

    200 pounds. Congratulations. You’re gonna waste away to nothing, skinny man. We still need some Youtube video of you dancing.

    There’s another phrase for taking off your wedding ring without talking to her about it, and it’s not “experiment.” It’s “passive-agressive bullsh**.” You say that the intimacy thing is “a war you’ve grown weary of fighting,” but a real struggle would involve some serious conversation that hits it head-on. Directly. Not firing little volleys over a hill and then running off to hide in the woods.

    Of course, I haven’t worn my wedding ring in quite some time because it cuts into MY finger, so who am I to talk. But my excuse really is that I just haven’t gotten it resized yet… 🙂

  3. Desmond Jones says:

    Hey, Digger, I know what you mean about the whole ‘vanity’ thing. I took on to lose some weight (actually, Molly took it on to get me to lose some weight), mostly for her sake (and the kids’) – we have a 5-year-old, at whose high school graduation I’ll be 64, assuming I last that long. And the idea was to improve my odds of lasting that long. . .

    But once it got rolling, all sorts of other things came into play. As the fat came off, I started feeling better, and wanting to be more active. My body got leaner and harder in places where it had been fat and soft for a long, long time, and I was liking the effect. For years, my ‘mental image’ of myself was much thinner than I actually was, and when I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t quite beleive how fat I’d gotten. Nowadays, that’s almost reversed – I think of myself as being a bit heavier than I actually am, and looking in the mirror takes me by surprise in a good way.

    At one point in the process, Molly actually expressed some concern about how good I was looking. Never in my life (well, not since I got married) have I had a woman hit on me, but Molly was worried that they might. Not that I’m eager for anything like that to happen, y’understand; probably best on many, many levels if it never does. But, just knowing that Molly thinks it could, is kinda nice, if you know what I mean. . .

    And, even so – hanging pretty consistently between 80-85 lb down from my max – my BMI still tells me that I’m ‘obese’. Not by much, tho – if I can lose just another 10-15, I’ll graduate to being merely ‘overweight’. But, that is proving a difficult hurdle to clear. And it ain’t any easier for feeling pretty darned good about how far I’ve come already. . . (sigh)

    And, I really probably shouldn’t comment on the ‘wedding ring experiment’, but ‘passive-aggressive bullshit’ seems about right. . .

  4. Cat says:

    Every time I read a FTN comment I can almost feel the push and nudge…I am curious Digger do you feel the push, push, nudge, nudge for you to confront Arwyn?

    BTW congrats on 200…and vanity is not a terrible thing. If you don’t want to look good for yourself you probably won’t bother for anyone else…

  5. xi summit says:

    Congrats, that’s a terrific accomplishment!. I’m only 50 lbs behind you. Anyhow.

    I can talk a bit about the ring thing, after 20 years of wearing I believe mine was off for about 7 months and while the ‘dent’ was reduced it never went away. A month or so after putting it back on the dent was basically back to ‘normal’.

  6. diggerjones says:

    Yeah Dave, I’m still fluctuating enough that the 200 mark was temporarily almost a fluke. But I’ll get there, proper like, in a week or two.

    Well, I’m still in the “overweight” zone according to the BMI calculator, FTN, so until then I still won’t see myself as skinny, just skinny-er. As for the battle plan, set-piece engagements are SO 20th century! In the 21st, lobbing rounds over a hill and running away is where it’s at.

    I would think the jealousy would be kind of cute, Desmond. But yeah, I’m thinking of Kevin Spacey in “American Beauty” right now, and his efforts to buff up. I haven’t been hit on by either a woman OR a guy in years. Yeah, even getting hit on by a guy would be flattering but I’m afraid the gay guys have higher standards than many of the women.

    Yeah, Cat, FTN is a real nag sometimes. That and a comment whore. But I can appreciate his frustration. Perhaps this year’s rutting season will bring some new drama. Relief would be nice, too.

    Actually, Xi, I was also thinking about getting Lasik surgery and wondered about that ridge on my nose and how long THAT would last. Since I can’t see without my glasses, the ring thing is a lot less intrusive. But it doesn’t look like either will go away very soon. Oh well. I’ll put it back on soon, if no other reason that to see how loose the thing is on my finger now that I’ve shed a pound or two.


  7. aphron says:

    Congrats on the weight loss. That is a real accomplishment, especially during a time of stress.

    As for the ring, I gotta side with FTN. Sybil pulls that bs, whenever she is really mad over an offense. The first time she pulled that passive-aggressive stunt to “see if I noticed,” I got concerned. The second time I chalked it up to being childish. If she isn’t proud to wear that ring, then she should do something about it.

    The concern we have is that when you two decide to start talking it will be through an attorney.

    My $0.02.

  8. serenity39 says:

    Congratulations on making that weight loss milestone, but i am more impressed with your dedication to exercise. I don’t know what it’s going to take to light a fire under me and get going with that. I used to do not badly, i just fell off the wagon. (actually, strictly speaking i have climbed onto the wagon so i don’t have to walk, but that’s a mixed metaphor….)

    As for the rest of it, i do not understand, no matter how much i read, but that is just more evidence that what goes on within a marriage is almost impossible to understand from without it. No matter how much is written, it’s between two people. Still, it’s interesting to see your perspective… 🙂

  9. Emily says:

    Congratulations on passing the 200 mark! Even if you are still fluctuating, the momentum is still downward and its a major achievement to pass that point.

    No comment on the wedding ring thing, since I never got married in the first place 🙂

  10. Square1 says:

    Congrats on dropping below 200. I’m with the others on the passive aggressive bit. On the other hand, Mr. Muse has not worn his ring in years. 1)Becuase it was a bit tight. 2) Because since he had a major allergic reaction working a job before our oldest was born, the gold reacts with his skin and 3) Because it was stolen when a so called friend helped us move. Now that we’re Muslim he’s not supposed to wear gold, so when we do have it replaced it will be something simple and in either titanium or silver. As for me, my wedding band cracked shortly after we were married. I took it off to avoid further damage. I put it with Mr. Muse’s ring. Needless to say it walked off right along with Mr. Muse’s. However he gave me a silver ring with a small setting with my favorite stone, and I wear it.

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