I decided to make my treatment of The Secret into its own entry. I need to keep my own story moving a bit, because things have a tendency to get stale if I don’t. Not just in the blog, but in real life. Writing about it (or not having anything to write) lets me know how stale things are and how much movement or lack thereof exists. And there just hasn’t been much.
I’m feeling a bit squirrelly lately. I want to play. I can tell when I’m getting that itch because I start looking for more stories, articles and news. I read more of the listserve and generally look for items dealing with my favorite kink on a more regular basis. Tom and Cagedone are majorly hitting my buttons. But playing alone has a limited attraction. I’m not quite there.
I did manage to make a suggestion to Arwyn about the ENQ.
2amsomewhere was wondering about her 12 step group. It’s actually the CGM/Rick Warren version called Celebrate Recovery. While the focus is more Christian, it is still based on the 12 steps and traditions of AA. It is broad-based, so several bottom line issues are addressed simultaneously. In Arwyn’s case, I think she is focusing more on the issues from her alcoholic dad and perhaps codependency issues. In any case, Arwyn claims to be close to her “step sisters” and has said they do get pretty personal. These groups are segregated by gender so that helps minimize the sort of 13th stepping behaviors engaged in by Arwyn’s dad.
I’m not against any of this, except that I don’t see any movement at all as far as improvement in our marriage. So the other night I suggested that she might take the ENQ to her step meeting and perhaps these step sisters can help her understand it enough to fill the thing out after the meeting. She actually thought it might be useful and said she would consider it. I’m still in the midst of trying to move things along, one way or another but not terribly optimistic. Without more pressure, she’s not going to do much on her own. And no one else is going to apply that pressure except for me.
As I quit smoking, eat better, exercise more and generally improve my health my libido is going to increase. That is simply what happens to men as they become healthy. They get horny! A good bit of my smoking was driven by trying to decrease my libido. But I’m no longer going in that direction. If Arwyn wants to sit around and wait to die, that’s her business. But I’m not doing it any more.