Remote Blog Update

Still out for a few more days but am able to update at the moment:




I’m updating remotely via my PDA from somewhere in the Minnesota northwoods on one of those 10,000 lakes.  It’s quite a bit cooler here than what we are used to in Georgia!  And cool weather means good snuggling weather, right?


One would think.


To summarize our vacation so far: the boys had a blast on the farm in Iowa with the grandparents.  I got to see some friends that I haven’t seen in 25 years or so.  And there has been no vacation sex.  Not even a hand job, which I wouldn’t think would be too much trouble.  But that’s just me.


This is Arwyn’s native country, where she grew up.  The last time we were on this lake was almost 11 years ago during our honeymoon.  I think we only spent 3 or 4 days here before heading back to Georgia.  There were a few unspeakable things that happened in this cabin.  There were a few things that happened here that would never happen again here or anywhere else.


On our wedding night, Arwyn gave me a brief fashion show of the various lingerie pieces she had gotten during the various wedding showers.  She looked absolutely fabulous in everyone one.  But she would never wear most of them ever again.  Ever.


There was one she would wear once or twice again.  It was a lovely lacey little number with a snap crotch.  I remember unsnapping that and going at her pussy with my tongue with gusto and enthusiasm.  I’m certainly glad I have that distant memory because it would be the very last time I would ever get to taste the fruits in Arwyn’s garden of delights.


So last night after the boys were tucked into beds set up in the room where we had consummated our marriage, I thought we could at least try to be physically affectionate to each other for a bit before her father came back from working at a store.  I did not expect sex, but hugging and kissing would be nice.


That went over like a lead duck.


I find my patience with this evasiveness growing thin. 






Much less windy and cool on the lake today.  The boys are having a grand time swimming and fishing and taking boat rides out on the lake.  But relationship wise, we seem to be in the middle of a deep freeze.  Arwyn has been moody and distant today.  She has a lot of animosity built up around her dad for all his years of alcoholism.  He’s been in recovery for about 30 years, and did have a relapse 8 years ago.  Arwyn is still pissed about the 8 year-old transgression.  That’s how long this woman can hold a grudge.  But she is cordial with her dad and gladly accepts his money and other guilt offerings.  But she’s still upset about it.


Her dad is now in his 70’s, have had a couple of heart attacks and could go at any time.  I think she really could do well to let his past transgressions go and appreciate the time they have left.  Neither of her parents is in good health.  They seem to have made some piece with each other these past few years and they do talk to each other once in awhile.


This vacation has been pleasant for the most part.  Aside from Arwyn pushing me away when I have tried to be affectionate at night when we’re together, it’s been okay.  On the way up we talked some, but not near enough about the things we really and truly needed to talk about.  Talking did make the trip seem a lot shorter and less tiring, so perhaps we can do more of that on the way home.






9 Responses to Remote Blog Update

  1. 2amsomewhere says:

    Arwyn has been moody and distant today. She has a lot of animosity built up around her dad for all his years of alcoholism. He’s been in recovery for about 30 years, and did have a relapse 8 years ago. Arwyn is still pissed about the 8 year-old transgression. That’s how long this woman can hold a grudge. But she is cordial with her dad and gladly accepts his money and other guilt offerings. But she’s still upset about it.

    I really hate to sound like I’m taking Arwyn’s personal inventory, but I think she could benefit from going to an Al-Anon fellowship.

    Regardless of her dad’s transgressions, she is refusing to let go the fact that her dad is indeed a separate human being. His sobriety is his, not hers. She may have been hurt by his addiction, but he cannot heal those wounds. Only she can.


  2. Dave says:

    I’m sorry that you’ve not been able to make the physical connections you were hoping for, but even more so that you’re not getting the chance to talk.

    I’m glad that you seem to be able to make it fun for the kids though, hang onto that.

  3. xi summit says:

    Digger, more an more it sounds to me like Arwyn is fighting with her past intead of living her today with you. Women sometimes project some of their issues with their parents onto their spouse and honestly I see clear signs of that in your writings. Living in a similar situation with Queenie I’m familiar with the dynamic AND with the difficulties in overcoming it.

    Wish I had something to say/help with the situation but I don’t have an answer. Counseling seems the logical next step but that doesn’t work unless SHE recognizes the ned for it.

  4. Cat says:

    I am happy to read your sons are having a good time and you are at least getting a break from the heat and the daily grind. As always I am sorry to read about things with Arwyn. I don’t have any advice to give, I can’t even fathom where she is coming from. But whatever her issues and or motives I am sorry you are force to deal with this type of relationship.

  5. diggerjones says:

    That’s the thing, 2am, she HAS been going to a recovery-type fellowship since last fall. She claims to be mostly healed, but as the next entry shows there are always new issues cropping up to ressurect or expose those feelings she thought were gone.

    It’s been a good time for the kids, Dave, and it was relaxing enough for me despite whatever tensions. We had some time away from each other which helped ease the tensions.

    Yeah, Xi, I’ll entertain any ideas of counseling if Arwyn brings it up. Last summer I brought it up and she shot is\t down. And with the ENQ thing, you can see she really has no interest in doing even a minimum amount of substantial work.

    It’s not an easy relationship, Cat, but there really is no such thing as an *easy* relationship, you know? They are all complicated and full of drama. But some sugar can sure make the tough parts go down a lot easier, you know what I mean?


  6. 2amsomewhere says:

    Regarding the recovery fellowship, is the focus on recovery from some addiction, or does it deal with codependency? The issues she has with her dad are more on the codependent end of the spectrum.


  7. akakarma says:

    So sad to hear that Arwyn is so walled off and you are struggling not be be included in her prison. This is so common for children of alcoholics and sometimes children of alcoholics have had some seriously bad stuff happen to them that makes it important and safe to have those walls. Everyone who comments here seem supportive. Good Luck!

  8. bathroomtalk says:

    You seem like a very cool person, I’ll keep coming back, and hope to get to know you better. Enjoy those lakes 😉

  9. Debbra Biven says:

    Remote Blog Update | Reality

    […]I feel trustworthy, more like myself, and whatever defenses that appears to be up normally fall away with none effort.[…]

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