You mean we didn’t cover this in the sexual fulfillment post? For those arriving late to the party, I’m working over my Emotional Needs Questionnaire. You’re about 5 posts behind, which is so highly unusual for me.
Harley defines recreational companionship as developing interest in your favorite recreational activities, learning to be proficient in them, and joining you in those activities. I rated my need for recreational companionship as a ‘2’, making it my least needed for need. When answering “How often?” I figured 1x per week would be fair and might help to cultivate a weak area. But if we didn’t recreate that often, that’s not going to make me neither happy nor unhappy about it. So as far as satisfaction, I scored this a solid zero – not either satisfied and not unsatisfied.
Hey, the score is improving! At least it isn’t negative! I’m sure Arwyn will peg this as a higher need and express more dissatisfaction with this. Right now, considering the other areas, recreational companionship ranks at the bottom of needs.
Having said that, I understand that recreational companionship can be an efficient way of meeting other needs. It makes conversation easier and gives us both something to talk about. I’m socking away credit in her love bank by spending what she would consider quality time with her. She likes going places and doing things. She likes going to the zoo and the aquarium over, and over and over again and has season passes. As for me, I get bored after the 3rd or 6th trip plus I seriously dislike the crowds.
But when we dated, we did go camping and hiking and spent a lot more time doing things together. But then I got a modem and that put a huge dent in mutual recreating!
Heaven forbid I ever get broadband.
It’s not that I don’t like spending time with Arwyn. But it is frustrating. While it does result in a somewhat closer connection, this does not translate into more affection or sex from her. And the more closely I feel towards her, the more her rejection hurts. Stiff arming her this way makes the rejection less traumatic, if that makes any sense at all.