Some of you may be scratching your heads wondering why I’m not trying to scratch and claw my way out of the cage. It’s been about 2 weeks, which just a few months ago represented my outer limits as far as endurance. To be honest, I’m not understanding it so much myself. On one level, I actually like it. I like feeling the grip of the cage when I’m in a semi-aroused state, which has kind of decreased in frequency.
On another, I really miss playing with my favorite toy. It was such a source of comfort and fun. But it was an empty joy that was not shared.
So I’m sort of seeing how far I can push the envelope. I’m entering into some new territory this next week, so that should be interesting.
Maybe I’m just in a sort of plateau here before ramping up, again. It could also be that Arwyn isn’t really maintaining any sort of attention. And it does take a certain amount of maintenance to keep things going, emotionally. The simple fact of being caged provides a large mental and emotional charge. But maintaining over an extended period of time takes some extra effort and energy. For someone who is locking themselves up, it’s just a matter of self-discipline. For others who have keyholders, there is a modest investment of time and effort required.
Given that aspect, this latest lock-up period has been highly instructive. There really is no substitute for time invested in someone else. Again, I’m recovering ground previously lost, in that I’m more aware that my wife and I devote insufficient time towards each other. I knew this over a year ago, when I was fighting mightily just for 2 minute periods of some semblance of intimacy. I have to really dig in just to approach that meager line. This opens a host of other issues beyond the cage and desire which I’ll not get into at the present time. But suffice it to say that it does highlight a need for at least the minimal amount of investment by both people. One person can not carry the load indefinitely no matter how energized and motivated they are.