My first night of lock-up was not bad at all. eCagedone often talks about the first night being the worst, but that isn’t my experience. When I use my body as an amusement park in the morning, then lock up, I generally get an easy night. I might have gotten up once during the night and even that early morning wood wasn’t so bad. But as time goes on and I get hornier, things will get much more intense. There is a definite break-in period. The key is out there for the taking for now but I’m thinking I’ll need them secured soon else I’ll be reaching for them.
Which leads me to the topic of finding a suitable keyholder and you all, my intelligent, thoughtful and insightful readers. There’s been more than one occasion where I’ve attempted to include you all in this process and the result has been somewhat tepid but life went on. Satan turned out to be a swell keyholder and I don’t recall anyone giving her any grief about being a virtual keyholder. But, dear readers, your presence looms very large. It casts a shadow that darkens and blots out the light of any single blogger. Even bloggers who have HUGE followings and are themselves semi-celebrities. They adore you, respect you and even somewhat fear you.
It’s true. The first time I encountered this, I just thought the person conveying this anxiety was simply being over anxious and generally being a worry wart. What would your readers think?
Eh? My readers? FUCK my readers, I want to play!!!
But pretty much every time I might want to have some virtual fun, you all are somehow brought into it. Okay, I do invite you in and that’s all on me. I could go off-blog, but then I lose part of the fun of both playing and having a blog. So having a readership is the price I pay for having the sort of blog I do. I am also paying a price for having readers who are overly intelligent and have a certain moral sense. Or at least this is the case for most of you who comment. Many of you come off as being judgmental prudes and you are scary! Maybe you all are wearing Good Girl Dresses here! Maybe I should be more scared than I am.
So I spent some time with my stats to get to know my readers better. Who are you? Where do you come from? What do you like reading?
Let’s answer the last one first. Guess what my #1 post of all time, is? Take guess? Which post brings in more traffic (twice as much) than any other single post I have ever posted? No, not anything to do with Christianity or religion. No, not even my post about oral sex. You want to know the post that is second to none? The one that gets fully one seventh of all my monthly traffic? The one single post that people are seeking out is this one. Prior to this point, I haven’t drawn attention to it and neither has anyone else, as far as I know. And yet it is a reader magnet. People all over the world are dialing into the post about sticking something up my butt!
Now regular commentors are a different matter and you guys and gals are the ones who truly register. You are the vocal minority because none of you commented on that post above. No one did, even if it is the most read post in my archives. But for some reason you all have the reputation of being some sort of sanctimonious mob that will burn any virtual key holder at the stake. I think Satan was tolerated because…well because we sort of expect Satan to be an evil temptress. But somehow my invisible internet friends have acquired a very formidable status that is larger than life. I might be larger than life, but I’m supposed to be because it’s my blog! But somehow you all have grown bigger and out of control or something.
When did that happen?
Comments are the spurs that keep a blogger blogging. Those of us that write know this. Stats are nice, but the comments are what really get us up in the morning to check our email. Good ones warm us and snarky ones amuse us and some simply provoke and anger us. But we are always moved. However, I’ve only just begun to appreciate how comments also influence other readers. If I read a post that moves me, I’ll want to read comments to see if others were equally moved. Most of the time I’m not especially moved to comment just because I’m doing my reading offline. People who comment are often the most passionate and articulate people which might intimidate other readers from expressing a different opinion. I’m not sure, because I simply don’t think that way. I’ll say stuff completely contrary to everyone else because that’s the way I am. Which has gotten me into hot water with my own readership in the past and pissed quite a few people off a number of times. But it would be nice if we could all just get along. And I have faith that we will. I’m very flexible as long as you all are willing to bend my way!LOL!
So I thank you all for reading AND commenting. Even if you all have grown to bnig for your britches! Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility. But don’t go getting a big head about that either! :-p
BTW, I think we might have a winner afterall. Stay tuned.