That’s Me — Mr. McDreamy

 

The other day, I was driving home and listening to talk radio which is my usual fare. Sean Hannity is the one usually on when I drive home. It’s not that I’m particularly fond of him, it’s just that the other talk radio station craps out after dark, and the Christian stations are still into their music format until later. He and his female producer (or assistant of some sort) were talking about the Woman’s Day poll. He was appalled that his assistant admitted to being a compulsive flirt. “Does your husband know about this? Is he okay with this? I don’t believe it! You flirt with strange men? All the time?”

 

Regular listeners will know that debating anything with Hannity is next to impossible because he rarely gives the other person time to breathe let alone respond. I got home in the midst of this little discussion and it sounded slightly interesting. According to the reported results, over half of the women who responded to the survey said they either wouldn’t get married to the same guy again or were not sure. Actually, if you look at the poll, you’ll see that it was a pretty even split, statistically between those who said “yes” and “no”. the “not sure” crowd was thrown with the “no” crowd to give the story some legs. I one puts them with the “yes crowd, you have ¾ that say they’d at least consider doing it again. That’s not too shabby, really.

 

This story, for me, should have ended right there with me turning off the radio and getting out of the truck and going in the house. But it didn’t. This story had legs all right, and it was splashing and running. Later that night, Arwyn was watching TV and I happened to be with her when Access Hollywood ran with it. I’m surprised Arwyn watched the story, especially with me right there. This would be a prime time to ask her if she’d do it all over again but let’s be perfectly real and honest; we both knew the answer. Neither of us would marry the other again, knowing what we do now. That doesn’t make it all bad. It’s a lot like college, basic training or high school. They were tremendously important times, and sometimes very enjoyable. But that doesn’t mean you’d make the exact same decision again or that you want to do it again.

 

dempsyWe actually did have a short conversation about the poll, though. It had to do with the question about who the sexiest man in America is. Since show was all over ABC, there was considerable discussion about “Mr. McDreamy” from Grey’s Anatomy. I actually had to look it up to see that it was Patrick Dempsey. I know she watches that show so I asked her about it. She said she wouldn’t consider Mr. McDreamy sexy, at least in his portrayal on the show, because he sleeps with everyone and is a compulsive cheater. I’ve seen the show a time or two myself and I never thought he was all that bad.

 

I tried to think of a way to steer this little conversation around but could see no way to do it without it resulting in a big hurtful blow-up. Mainly, what is a guy who is not getting sex from his wife expected to do when she is no longer interested? He’s just supposed to continue living in a state of involuntary celibacy? I mean a guy like that is probably tempted all the time.

 

There just wasn’t any traction to this whole line of conversation, so I dropped it. I’m not really looking to cheat and I don’t look like Mr. McDreamy so I’m not constantly being tempted by women throwing themselves at me. As nice as that would seem, it’s through the grace of God that I’m spared that sort of thing. That, plus my rather prickly, withdrawn and introverted personality. People talk about being antisocial as if it were a bad thing!

 

FTN (Who does happen to look like Mr. McDreamy) also caught the bit about the story saying a third of people sleeping at opposite ends of the bed while the poll definitely says opposite side of the bed. Yeah, for a minute there I thought my Freak Show Franchise For Sleeping was in serious jeopardy! There is no way 1/3 of all women sleep at opposite ends of the bed like Arwyn does. In fact, no one else has come forward to confess that they do this.

 

Someone asked why I don’t simply switch up, so we are at the same end, again. Then Arwyn would simply adjourn to the couch which she does sometimes, anyway. So my snoring is a pretty big part of it. I thought maybe stopping smoking might lessen that, but apparently not. I might as well puff away. I have absolutely no problems with Arwyn’s snoring. And she can be loud sometimes. But I like it. I’m twisted that way in that I like hearing the sounds of her breathing, snoring and assorted other noises. I derive comfort from it. This is clearly not the case for her as well as many other women who opt for alternate sleeping arrangements.

 

Someone else mentioned sleep apnea, which can be life threatening. At the very least, it is annoying. At least I notice that I haven’t woken up with a headache like I used to, so maybe not smoking has been helpful enough that way. If I’m going to die from anything at any time, I would just as soon go in my sleep. Seriously, none of us gets to pick exactly how we’re going to go, but dying in my sleep gets my vote every time. I suppose dying while having an orgasm (with a partner )would be a good way to go, but those odds are far too long to even think about in this house. No, sleep gets my vote if I’m allowed one. And then I can dream about what it might be like to be referred to as “Mr. McDreamy.”

 

D.

 

 

 

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7 Responses to That’s Me — Mr. McDreamy

  1. So Gone says:

    Even if you got treated for the sleep apnea, the snoring may cease but the loud noises wouldn’t. The Darth Vader mask they give you to wear to bed is super loud. But, wouldn’t you like the possibility of living longer (and sleeping better) so that maybe you could find someone who calls you “McDreamy”? Because, really, sleep apnea doesn’t typically kill a person in their sleep, the damage it does to their heart is what kills them.

  2. Cat says:

    But, wouldn’t you like the possibility of living longer (and sleeping better) so that maybe you could find someone who calls you “McDreamy”?

    I am actually curious about this too. You seem so apathetic like you are resigned to the title of chainsaw, reptile, anti-social guy. And I just can’t wrap my brain around it. Certainly there is someone in the world who would call you “McDreamy”. Did Arwyn ever see you that way?

  3. 2amsomewhere says:

    About a month ago, my wife said that she found Shemar Moore on Criminal Minds to be hot. She’s more of a CBS gal.

  4. FTN says:

    I really look just like Patrick Dempsey mowing lawns in ‘Can’t Buy Me Love,’ circa 1987. Does he still look (and dress) pretty much like that?

    Okay, not really. You are right, though, this could have been a good occasion to start a discussion. Not necessarily something like “Hey, would you still marry me again, if we had to do it all over?” I don’t think that’s AT ALL how you want to start this line of communication.

    I personally think the best way is to just sit her down when there are minimal distractions and tell her you need to have a serious discussion. Tell her that if she wants to have this marriage continue, if she has any desire to save it, to stay together for the kids, for each other, for God, for whatever… That you need some help. It’s gone so far that without some outside assistance, it seems doomed. That might at least shove her towards the idea of some counseling.

    And no, counseling won’t magically fix all of the issues, but it at least will put two ‘avoiders’ in a regular spot where they are forced to do some serious communicating.

  5. trouble says:

    About the bed/snoring situation. My boyfriend snores. It doesn’t bother me anymore. It’s the worst when he first gets to sleep, then it gets quieter throughout the night. if it really annoys me, I take a sleeping pill. if we were to get married, I might occasionally sleep in the spare bedroom just to get an uninterrupted night’s sleep, but it would be a rare occurrance, I suspect. His snoring annoys me less and less the longer we are together. When I wake up in the morning and hear him snoring, it often sounds to me as if he’s purring, there is this contented peaceful quality to it that I enjoy.

    The house seems inordinately quiet when he’s not with me.

    I also think you need to be brutally honest with her. You owe it to yourself and to the years you’ve spent together to tell her how close you are to the edge.

  6. diggerjones says:

    Hehe heh! Anyone see last week’s episode? Snoring!LOL!

    The simplest solution is to let her fall asleep before me then she seems to do okay. And if she wakes me up by kicking me, I simply initiate sex and she seems to be totally dead asleep! AMAZING!

    It’s been excruciatingly difficult to find distraction-free time lately.

    D.

  7. Sam says:

    Hi,

    Here some tips to eliminate your snoring change your position during sleep is one of the possible answers to snoring, but the only one. Consider these helpful hints for a quite, restful night’s sleep.

    Sleep in a cool, well ventilates room. Research has shown that sleep is less disturbed at cooler temperature.

    Sleep on a firm mattress with a low pillow to keep your neck straight. Reducing obstruction in your airway

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