I’m thinking about responses to my “Person-to-Person” post. The consensus is that God would not move a person towards separation and divorce or it at least goes against scripture.
While the darker forces of the universe may have a vested interest in our separation, I find it hard to believe that she would be bent on making it easy and painless. Pain, death, destruction, desolation…these are the fruits of the Darkness.
The other day, Arwyn was on the internet pricing houses in the area. Lately, she has demonstrated a keen interest in local real estate. We have looked at houses together, including the new luxury home subdivision behind ours going for $350,000 plus. Some of these could actually accommodate at least two separate families with the 2 stories plus a full basement. She has taken the boys on a sufficient number of house-looking excursions that they are now asking to go look at houses. Their teachers have asked if we were moving.
So the other day, while she was browsing local house sales, I asked her, “Are you thinking about moving and getting your own house?”
“In my dreams!” was her reply.
I can’t remember what the interruption was (likely one of the kids) but I never did get a chance to follow-up on that. But really and truly I’m thinking we are on the same page with our thoughts more and more. That if there was some way to afford two separate houses, either one of us would do it. Maybe we could go back to just dating. Maybe we need more space at least for a time. This is not so much a matter of anger and bitterness. It is a case of differentness that wants its own space.
Among other bloggers who have found themselves in state of involuntary celibacy, this is not a new idea, but I have yet to find a case where both partners are of one mind on the subject. Several bloggers have entertained the possibility of having two separate domiciles, but the other spouse rarely seems open to the idea. Freebird and Trueself are two notable examples of this idea.
Cat actually gotten into this arrangement and it about is as close to what I’ve thought of as anyone. However, her husband is still not on board with the arrangement. But it at least seems to be working for her. Of course she’s developed other interests beyond her husband but that’s another story.
It’s just another of those ideas I’m entertaining and it might be doable if Arwyn is similarly inclined.
But the real and actual truth is this: I do very poorly living alone. I stay up later, get out of bed later, am less generally productive and don’t eat as well. My motivation for doing things would probably go down to zilch. I don’t know if I’d go back to smoking or not.
But I still think about not having to clean up after all of her crap that seems to be taking over every area of the house. She’s probably thinking it would be nice having two houses to store stuff in.