“In My Dreams”

I’m thinking about responses to my “Person-to-Person” post. The consensus is that God would not move a person towards separation and divorce or it at least goes against scripture.

While the darker forces of the universe may have a vested interest in our separation, I find it hard to believe that she would be bent on making it easy and painless. Pain, death, destruction, desolation…these are the fruits of the Darkness.

The other day, Arwyn was on the internet pricing houses in the area. Lately, she has demonstrated a keen interest in local real estate. We have looked at houses together, including the new luxury home subdivision behind ours going for $350,000 plus. Some of these could actually accommodate at least two separate families with the 2 stories plus a full basement. She has taken the boys on a sufficient number of house-looking excursions that they are now asking to go look at houses. Their teachers have asked if we were moving.

So the other day, while she was browsing local house sales, I asked her, “Are you thinking about moving and getting your own house?”

“In my dreams!” was her reply.

I can’t remember what the interruption was (likely one of the kids) but I never did get a chance to follow-up on that. But really and truly I’m thinking we are on the same page with our thoughts more and more. That if there was some way to afford two separate houses, either one of us would do it. Maybe we could go back to just dating. Maybe we need more space at least for a time. This is not so much a matter of anger and bitterness. It is a case of differentness that wants its own space.

Among other bloggers who have found themselves in state of involuntary celibacy, this is not a new idea, but I have yet to find a case where both partners are of one mind on the subject. Several bloggers have entertained the possibility of having two separate domiciles, but the other spouse rarely seems open to the idea. Freebird and Trueself are two notable examples of this idea.

Cat actually gotten into this arrangement and it about is as close to what I’ve thought of as anyone. However, her husband is still not on board with the arrangement. But it at least seems to be working for her. Of course she’s developed other interests beyond her husband but that’s another story.

It’s just another of those ideas I’m entertaining and it might be doable if Arwyn is similarly inclined.

But the real and actual truth is this: I do very poorly living alone. I stay up later, get out of bed later, am less generally productive and don’t eat as well. My motivation for doing things would probably go down to zilch. I don’t know if I’d go back to smoking or not.

But I still think about not having to clean up after all of her crap that seems to be taking over every area of the house. She’s probably thinking it would be nice having two houses to store stuff in.


6 Responses to “In My Dreams”

  1. Therese says:

    “While the darker forces of the universe may have a vested interest in our separation, I find it hard to believe that she would be bent on making it easy and painless.”

    Dear Mr. Jones,
    the only way the “darker forces” get anyone to turn their back on God is how they make it so appealing, so attractive. If people saw the ugliness of their selfish and sinful ways, the horrible and painful consequences to sin, they would never go down that path. Satan wins people over by seducing them, by making the path to him so easy and alluring, not by putting up road blocks to things that aren’t right. After we have given in, THEN we feel the pain and misery, but not before.

    I don’t know what is best in your situation. It certainly isn’t an easy life you have right now. I would only caution you that it is dangerous to think that because something is easy and painless it must be right.


  2. diggerjones says:

    Well said!

    I’m always wondering, tho…why haven’t I been trapped before? I mean if the right person came along and said the right things and did the right things…

    It seems like it would be as easy as gravity for the right woman to come along and seduce my wounded self into the proverbial slaughterhouse. But it hasn’t happened, yet.

    And the flip side: If God’s grace comes into effect in preventing the above, then there must be some provision for relief where I’m at now, right? At least that’s what comes to mind right now.


  3. Therese says:

    There are many ways I could go with this.

    Do you believe in Redemptive Suffering, Mr. Jones?

  4. Digger Jones says:

    Well, my blog theme is loosely (VERY loosely) built around that theme. But I do struggle with it, as every thinking person must. I’ve looked at it from a certain Redemptive attitude and then more recently from one oo my suffering originating mostly from my own false beliefs. But at the core of it, is the issue of trusting God. Always, it comes down to that.


  5. Therese says:

    If you believe that you can use your own personal suffering as a way to redeem yourself, then that could be one reason you have not been given relief in your current struggle: there’s still something to be gained by it, for YOUR own good.

  6. Therese says:

    I was reading over your last response and your past point stood out to me. “But at the core of it, is the issue of trusting God. Always, it comes down to that.”

    Do you believe that God has a purpose for your marriage to Arwyn? What do you think He hopes to accomplish through your marriage?

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