Anyone Wanna Start a Book Club?

November 28, 2006

Oh my.

I was trying to troll up a blogger address and came across a hidden gem.  And I’m thinking I need to jump all over it before Oprah goes and ruins it for everyone.  The plot line looks pretty hot to me.

Chick Lit?  Come ON guys, get over it!!  I mean, really, is there any guy in this sort of situation who hasn’t had at least one thought along these lines?  Even the L0w Libido ex-Blogger, formerly known as Dewdrop fantasized about something like this for her own husband.  At least the first part of it, not necessarily the whole pregnancy thing, though.

Wait…don’t know what I’m talking about?


Yeah, I know.

Ms. Rax, if you’re reading, the cover needs to be toned down a bit, because while guys might be interested, we are not going to be caught DEAD carrying that thing around in public!LOL!

But click on the cover and read the except, anyway.  See what you think.



“In My Dreams”

November 28, 2006

I’m thinking about responses to my “Person-to-Person” post. The consensus is that God would not move a person towards separation and divorce or it at least goes against scripture.

While the darker forces of the universe may have a vested interest in our separation, I find it hard to believe that she would be bent on making it easy and painless. Pain, death, destruction, desolation…these are the fruits of the Darkness.

The other day, Arwyn was on the internet pricing houses in the area. Lately, she has demonstrated a keen interest in local real estate. We have looked at houses together, including the new luxury home subdivision behind ours going for $350,000 plus. Some of these could actually accommodate at least two separate families with the 2 stories plus a full basement. She has taken the boys on a sufficient number of house-looking excursions that they are now asking to go look at houses. Their teachers have asked if we were moving.

So the other day, while she was browsing local house sales, I asked her, “Are you thinking about moving and getting your own house?”

“In my dreams!” was her reply.

I can’t remember what the interruption was (likely one of the kids) but I never did get a chance to follow-up on that. But really and truly I’m thinking we are on the same page with our thoughts more and more. That if there was some way to afford two separate houses, either one of us would do it. Maybe we could go back to just dating. Maybe we need more space at least for a time. This is not so much a matter of anger and bitterness. It is a case of differentness that wants its own space.

Among other bloggers who have found themselves in state of involuntary celibacy, this is not a new idea, but I have yet to find a case where both partners are of one mind on the subject. Several bloggers have entertained the possibility of having two separate domiciles, but the other spouse rarely seems open to the idea. Freebird and Trueself are two notable examples of this idea.

Cat actually gotten into this arrangement and it about is as close to what I’ve thought of as anyone. However, her husband is still not on board with the arrangement. But it at least seems to be working for her. Of course she’s developed other interests beyond her husband but that’s another story.

It’s just another of those ideas I’m entertaining and it might be doable if Arwyn is similarly inclined.

But the real and actual truth is this: I do very poorly living alone. I stay up later, get out of bed later, am less generally productive and don’t eat as well. My motivation for doing things would probably go down to zilch. I don’t know if I’d go back to smoking or not.

But I still think about not having to clean up after all of her crap that seems to be taking over every area of the house. She’s probably thinking it would be nice having two houses to store stuff in.


What’s My Accent?

November 24, 2006
What American accent do you have?

Your Result: The Inland North

You may think you speak “Standard English straight out of the dictionary” but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like “Are you from Wisconsin?” or “Are you from Chicago?” Chances are you call carbonated drinks “pop.”

The Midland
The Northeast
The South
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

When God Calls Person-to-Person

November 22, 2006

I am in the midst of my annual Christmas Baking Blitz, where I produce massive quantities of gifts from my kitchen in lieu of real gifts. I have no idea how any average sized family handles the complexities of gift giving. For some reason we think we have to give gifts to all of our children’s teachers and bus drivers. And since they are affiliated at least part time with special education and ride separate buses it is no small thing. We figured out that the boys saw at least 13 adults between the two of them on a daily basis plus associated therapists.

I can tell you from first-hand experience that teachers typically get a lot of junk at Christmas. Sometimes it’s cool junk, but it isn’t an iPod or tires for the car. It is mostly the coffee mug, perfume, bath product type of fare. Which is why food is always a popular thing, at least until some fool poisons someone and then I’ll be checking out how to make coffee mugs.

And then there are coworkers and distant relatives to think of. I counted about 20 of them, but I’m sure I’m forgetting someone. If I keep the list short, there are about 30 who make the gift list. But even if I went with a basic 20, consider trying to pick out gifts for all of them or even just buying a $15 gift card. No wonder the country has an economic hangover in January. Last year, I advocated the Buy Nothing Christmas and once again I’m calling for some restraint on commercialism. In just a few days, the world will run amok on “Black Friday’“ Don’t do it.

So what’s rolling out of the kitchen this year? I’m sympathetic to those who continually do Christmas bigger every year, and I’m afraid I have fallen at least that far. In addition to the microwave popcorn, sugar cookies and cookie mix in a jar, I do have a few holiday fruitcakes going in the oven and cinnamon raisin bread. I’m also thinking about trying some sort of chocolate peanut candy to see how it goes.

Okay, just to talk about the latest goings on, or lack thereof, several folks were wondering about the Dave Ramsey Seminar Arwyn went to. I was nervous all day, wondering if she would really go or not, as she was not at all looking forward to it.

However, when she got home she was pretty excited about trying to get our finances straightened out. Dave Ramsey is a salesman selling a dream and he did his job well. She really enjoyed it and took notes and filled out the little workbook they give you when you register. And she’s been visiting his website, so at least we’re on the same page there.

However, this time of year is her hardest time of year. She doesn’t seem to be able to curb her spending. It’s almost like a compulsion or something. And she has left the house and ended up spending since the seminar, so I’m just wondering if there was any real impact. Still, we do at least have a common basis for discussion.

We’ve talked a bit more about the church thing. She claims she doesn’t get anything out of the sermons, which a common complaint in any church, I suppose. However the Methodist church is plagued with some capable messengers who are unwilling or unable to deliver a message that challenges and inspires the people. There are concerns and problems within our community which the Methodist congregation does not want to face. However, blaming the lack of church attendance on a poor sermon is a lot like refusing to come to Thanksgiving because the turkey is dry. That’s not the real purpose. It’s silly to expect a pastor to be exceptionally gifted in every area. I don’t view my faith as a spectator sport. I’m in the game the same as anyone else, even if I’m not in the choir or preaching. It’s about the people sitting around me, more than the one speaking to me. So I don’t buy the sermon excuse.

Arwyn says that she just feels more comfortable there . She said God was telling her to move on. And that is an interesting thing, because God hasn’t given me any specific marching orders. I went with her a few weeks ago, and I didn’t feel particularly at ease. It really is a fast growing church and so it was very crowded. I felt closed in from all sides from such a throng of people in such a small area. The message was okay.

In the Methodist church, we do have smaller adult Sunday school groups where a body can actually get to know other people better. In this other church, there was no such thing. They have other Bible studies and different support groups but no mechanism for getting to know people on Sunday. And my thing has been being part of the teaching team for our class. I think it’s what I’ve always liked about the Methodist church and have always been a part of the teaching team.

And if God is telling her to move to a different church, why hasn’t He said squat to her about our marriage? How does telling her to go to a different place of worship jive with keeping our family together? Perhaps God IS telling us both to move on in different directions. Is that possible? Is it likely? Would God actually facilitate the separation and dissolution of a marriage?

I don’t know. It certainly runs counter to all the traditions and teachings that I have ever known. While some churches are more tolerant of divorce than others, I can’t say I know of any that are in the business of facilitating amicable separations.

And yet, the reality is that this is where I feel pulled. The house seems too small. My needs are too large. We’re nearing a (as in within a couple of years) critical stage where running a separate household might be nearly feasible. Her pulling away to another church is more congruent with that reality than one where we are reconciled. I’m not closing the door on reclaiming the marriage as much as being open to this other possibility. I would not expect God to lead in that direction, but could He?

If Arwyn and I, despite relatively little communication of any sort, have arrived at the same conclusion at the same (roughly) time, could that be interpreted as some sort of Divine sign? Again, this is foreign territory to me.

The lack of sex is a persistent and ongoing thing but it isn’t the entire issue or even the most prominent one at the moment. I actually find the spiritual schism is actually the more troubling issue or at least the one that marks a truer depth of difference between us.


Real Blogger World: Behind the scenes

November 19, 2006


I wish I had better excuses for why I’m such a bad fiction writer.  I really do feel bad about it.


Anyone reading this will be familiar enough to know what I’m talking about, so I’m not going to link to it.  It is seriously my “jumping the shark” post.  My one consolation is that it isn’t on my own blog!  At the same time, you hate to be invited somewhere and mess up their place, right?


I had about 3 prior drafts of this thing pre-written.  I figured I needed to somehow work in a dungeon and originally everyone who took off their belts early was going to be punished.  Then, I sort of made a promise to DKOG for a sort-of birthday party.  At the same time, I really wanted to up the sexual heat while incorporating some mayhem and let various characters have their own story lines that would converge. 


The convergence was to be the cake going down the stairs starting a fire that would consume most of the house.  However, as soon as it happened I realized that everyone in the basement would be dead because there was no escape.  So that’s how the licking ending came about sans fire and firefighters.


One other major scene that was written out was one when Satan and I went to the store.  The scene basically involved her flashing some bikers and us being chased by them on their Harleys and me and Satan on the moped with us barely escaping with our lives while the moped meets its demise.


Desmond was relegated to chatting with Molly for a good deal of my story and I would have left him there except I needed to get some other things done while the other principles were being steamy.  As it turned out, this story could not have gotten along without his (and yes, Molly’s) help.  Not that it did that well anyway.  Desmond’s character ended up being one that helped deliver the goods as far as tying things together.


O272 never did get subjected to any of the dungeon’s tortures even though that was its sole purpose for existing.  She was the one that wrote the belts out from the ladies straight off, and I had always intended that she pay dearly for it.  But things didn’t work out that way, did they?  O ended up being cast in a much stronger role than she had even written for herself.  She ends up in the role of domme, and first trying to teach FTN and eventually getting frustrated enough that HE ends up on the rack.


ADKOG posed several problems for me, because I knew the least about her.  Her blog is relatively new and I richly enjoyed reading it.  But I ended up working her out of the mommy blogger-mode she often writes in, and cast her into a naughtier role that sort of stretched things out a bit.  Getting her in the chains first was a twist I threw in at the last minute to give the reader a bit of a surprise and partially fulfill the spanking promise.  I’m looking forward to her entry.


FTN has borne the brunt of assorted misadventures in all the stories so I did keep that theme going.  However I did edit his dungeon scene down significantly.  Trust me, there was a lot more pain in the earlier versions.   But his readership is not as familiar with the sort of games that might typically happen in such a place and would have difficulty handling anything to intense.  Plus, I don’t have any principles who are quite sadistic enough to pull off such a scene.  He’s still in his belt, thus leaving other possibilities for future authors. 


Emily was going to be a major character in anything I wrote, which should go without saying.  I wanted to give her seductive side room to grow and it did not disappoint. 


Dividing my cast and giving them separate plot lines helped give everyone else a chance in the spotlight.  And that was the biggest challenge in all of this; making sure there was balance amongst the cast.  With an ensemble cast, either a few folks get the spotlight or no one gets it and there’s just sort of a mishmash.  Or, in the case of Emily’s storytelling, everyone gets a turn at something equally but there’s not a real story.  And maybe I should have done something along those lines.


Satan was the character I had to try to keep from stealing every scene.  The wildest seductress in the house,  her restraint up to this point was getting a bit embarrassing.  She needed to be hunting, stalking and otherwise trying to express her sexual (and somewhat predatory) nature.  It will be interesting to see if things continue to progress now that the cat is out of the bag, as it were.


Writing myself was not an easy task.  In O’s story, you’ll notice she just wrote herself out by taking a nap.  There were times when I wondered whether I should be in 1st person or not.  The decision whether to stay in the belt or not was also a difficult one.  No else seemed to know what to do with the chastity belts (except escape from them) so I couldn’t think of a good reasion to stay in.  So my escape had to be rather spectacular.  Sorry about the hot tub, though.

 Maybe there will be something here to make that post more bearable.  Or maybe this is another of those experiences best put behind so we can move on.






I’m Working on it

November 17, 2006

Now I know why I do not write fiction.

I’m working on my post for FTN’s Real Blogger World and I keep running into trouble.   I’ve got to keep the sexual heat high while keeping some semblence of modesty or else totally cut loose and make everyone sex crazy.  This is not so easily done.

I’m trying to work in a cake, a spanking, a house fire and a chastity miracle.  Do you have any idea how hard that is to do while keeping people somewhat in character?  Plus I have to figure out a way to keep the sex-starved women from running off with the fire fighters!  AARRRRGGHGHH!

I hate fiction. I actually like it when someone else is doing the writing…someone with actual TALENT!  I’m glad I live in a world where fact is stranger than fiction much of the time, although you wouldn’t know it by my boring posts and the wacked up story some folks are about to be subjected to.

But this is going to take longer than expected.

Be patient.


Is this true?

November 14, 2006

KJ writes with an unbelievable edge, sometimes.  Most times, actually.  She has a knack for hitting various buttons of mine and I usually come away from her place feeling something.  Many times, it is sadness or anger.

In a recent post she goes on about hugs.  the fact is, that as soon as she is hugged by her husband she can feel his erection and hear the sound of his breathe becoming more shallow; the guy is getting turned on.  KJ writes exactly like a frigid shrew in this post!

It’s useful at this point to remind myself that this is not my wife and I am not her husband.  however it hits me hard because I can see my own wife’s complaints in hers.  Arwyn is not in the mood to be in the mood around me and fully wishes that I would not be in the mood either.

She goes on to say that she isn’t in the mood for it because she is in “wife/mother/work mode.”    She then concludes by saying that girls get it and guys do not.


She’s right in that I don’t get it.


When I asked her how she could feel like a wife if she wasn’t having sex with her husband, she said she felt like a wife when she took care of the kids, did the household chores and took care of the family.   She clearly equates being a wife with being a mother.  To her, these two things are insepereable and there is no possible way to be one without the other.  A wife is a domestic worker and a nanny.  “Lover” in no way ever enters the job description and if it does it is treated with contempt.  “Lover” is apparently a term reserved for two people fucking who are not married to each other.


KJ’s descriptions and struggles affect me so strongly because this is an alternate reality that I have a hard time dealing with.  Kj does like sex and complains about not getting it from her lover just like a HL person.  But the LL persona…damn.  She hates the way her husband breathes!


This is why I can see it.  Arwyn has complained about my breathing.  She complains about my snoring.  I hug her and I can feel her tense up.  I took on one of the biggest dragons of my life; I quit smoking. And we have not had sex of any kind in the months I’ve been smoke free.  No deep kissing because, like KJ, she cannot stand the way I kiss apparently.  Like KJ, she is a blonde beauty of Scandinavian descent.  She was also trained as a nurse.  Lot’s ‘O resemblances there.  KJ is probably the person an anonymous commentor was thinking of when she said she had read my wife’s blog.  I can see so many sentiments expressed by Arwyn in Kj’s posts it is not hard at all to imagine one is the other.


The problem I have with KJ (and by extension, Arwyn) is that the provision for happiness seems almost entirely one sided.  KJ does not want to be alone in her old age.  She does not want to marry her lover, she wants to live with her husband who is her best friend outside of the bedroom.  Would her husband be happy living the rest of his life living in involuntary celibacy?  His happiness is such a minor theme in her blog.  She knows what excites and thrills him, and those things are exactly what makes her feel like he is always needing, needing, needing something.  Even if he doesn’t go after it.  So if he does go after it, he is a demanding child.  But if he doesn’t go after it, he is still childish for having needs.


I think I get it now.


There is no possible way I will ever be able to feel better about Arwyn if I take another a lover.  The resentment will get worse as she becomes more of a nuisance with her incessant needs and demands.  I already feel like this sometimes.