The past week, I’ve written about the ramping up of the cage and its effects. In fact that’s the typical pattern, where I ramp up for several days and then I begin looking forward to release. There is generally an energizing effect in all of this. But with longterm lock-up, with some level of uncertainty there is another mood that creeps in after several days. It’s not exactly sexual arousal, but there is a link there.
Sexual release in whatever form is a source of fun, amusement and excitement. It is also a source of comfort. I remember now where that draw to Arwyn truly comes from. It is deeper than simply getting aroused and wanting to get off. It comes from the human need for human contact and comfort. The need for attention.
For Satan or anyone else contemplating getting such a device this is a real consideration. This is precisely the thing that women either really like or really dislike about chastity. This neediness that appears comes from that need for comfort. I’m thinking this might be true for those who might not be masturbating without a device as well. Being locked up may just push it along quicker. Some women may really like all the physical attention where it is not a prelude for sex. Some women may find it annoying.
Arwyn sort of likes it but within an exceedingly narrow spectrum. This phase really kicked in yesterday afternoon. A sort of meloncholy washed over me when I got home from work. Her and the boys were at a therapy appointment which meant I was home alone for a bit. This would normally be prime time for some self-pleasure and would have lifted me right out of the funk. But nothing doing now. The extra key is locked in the trunk of her car!
Fortunately, her and the boys were home very shortly after I got home and for the first time in awhile I gave Arwyn a hug and a mini-back rub. Once more later in the evening and again this moring. I just craved her physical touch. It wasn’t so much about sex as about comfort. I’m definitely in a deeper space today than even a couple days ago. Getting myself off was a source of comfort of a sort. It was the place I could go for my own self.
So now the focus shifts away from myself towards getting comfort from someone else. While it isn’t sex, per se, there is a sexual component to it. It’s not something I can get from my kids, nor should I. But that is the well I think Arwyn and many women draw from for their physucal and emotional comfort when their spouses are either not available or not wanted. They use the kids as a surrogate relationship to the exclusion of reciprocal adult intimacies.
And us men tend to turn inward to ourselves.
Hmmm. Okay, I’m going stop here for now and think about this some more to decide if this line of thought is worth pursuing. I am sleeping better through the night. While waking up, I’m not necessarily being driven out of bed by the jagged pain of the erections. They are either becoming less or I’m aclimating!