Okay, I’ll give readers a break from the chastity bit (since I’m taking one) and give to a real update. However, I’m also looking for you to continue to vote in the poll if you haven’t already, and submit your key for the chastity Timelock.
One of the difficulties of being so estranged and independent for awhile is if one or both members of a couple decide that maybe they don’t want to be estranged and as independent anymore. The challenge is trying to bridge a gap that has been left open for too long. It’s just not going to be overnight thing.
Okay, let’s get this out of the way – Unless you are Rabbi Shmuley, and going to come over with the wireless headsets and earplugs and do a live coaching thing, the whole therapy thing is a no-go. “Okay, give her a hug and say, ‘I love you.’”
“Okay, Arwyn, now put your arm around him, grab his butt and tell him he is sexy and you can’t wait to fuck him.”
Yeah, that might work. NOT.
I unlocked on Friday night and enjoyed that release, but haven’t really done anything since then in the way of self amusement. However, that’s not to say there hasn’t been some building heat. On Saturday morning as she was getting ready to out, talked for a bit while she was getting ready in the bathroom. This was just mundane talking about stuff. But I gave her a bit of a backrub while she was fiddling with make-up and we were talking. It was really the first bit of real physical intimacy we’d had in months. it was a few minutes and it was just nice. There was a turn taking place. We could both feel it. From then on, things just got more relaxed. I think there was a lot of hostility that was going on in our disengagement and this was starting to turn that down.
Arwyn is not going to be sexually aggressive. It’s just not who she is. she can be warm or she can be bitterly cold, but “hot” just isn’t in her as far as a passionate nature. There just seems to be a certain type of woman who is more or less reserved and is not going to be the aggressor. This does not mean she wants a boorish dominant for a husband.
In anycase, this was just sort of noteworthy. Last night, I kissed her goodnight before she laid down to go to sleep and before I headed to the computer. there was a part of me that wondered if it might be worth my while to hang around. but she informed me that she was very tired. I was okay with that. I had other options like blogging and playing computer games until I was tired enough to sleep. It’s what I’ve been doing for months with no resentment. I think I would resent it if she somehow insisted I went to bed at the same time as her and I had to lie awake beside her being all frustrated while she slept.
I would not mind warming things up between us a bit. Whether or not it evelves into anything sexual…well hope springs eternal. But I’m okay with there being less hostility (even of the passive sort) and just generally liking each other more. And maybe the sexual tension can build from there. Or not. I have no idea. Yeah, I talk about the sexual tension because that is a big part of what I feel. But this does not mean i don’t appreciate the nonsexual aspects of the relationship. Just the fact of having a conversation without the hostility that has been built in is worth noting.
So maybe I can look forward to the bolt cutters in the next couple of weeks!
Timelock keys accepted until lock-up around Sunday morning, unless something drastic happens.