“One For the Ages?”

I still got nothing. Or I had nothing until this beauty fell into my lap. Travis Frey faces charges of kidnapping and child pornography. So he's a perverted sicko. Verification of his perverted ness is the contract that he had with his wife, which you can read in its entirety on the link.

Anyone with any kinky background will recognize this as a contract between a dominant and a submissive. His wife didn't sign it, of course. No need to, since you're looking at her copy. His rules are definitely in the 24/7 dominant lifestyle although he's obviously not so much into the SM part of the lifestyle.

What do you think of his rules and point system? I thought it was pretty ingenious if he could get her to go for it. No, I do not go along with the whole kidnapping/child porn bit. But that is not what is making the news, here. That's not why Travis Frey is becoming infamous. There are lots of people with child porn who do not make national headlines. Kidnapping does make headlines, but this is not what is nailing Frey. He is being called a pervert because of the 4 page contract he wrote, which is described by Smoking Gun as "repulsive". The kidnapping/child porn is enough to make him a criminal. But he is a sicko-perv because of that damning paper, outlining what he expects from a submissive wife.

Arwyn has a copy of a similar contract somewhere. Not quite that detailed, but it outlines why I would be locked up, my terms for release, certain rewards and certain punishments. It's long since expired, but she has it somewhere.

My readers run in a bit of a pervy vain, anyway, and you know that I'm into kinky stuff. But the vanilla world is sorely uptight about this sort of thing. I've educated and desensitized most of you about some of this stuff and you were already pretty open minded. But mainstream people ain't like that. At all. To them, Frey's lifestyle preference is twisted, sick and deranged. Not because of his crimes as much as what he wrote on that paper. I've talked about my preferences:

-Being clean shaven

-Sleeping naked with lots of spooning/holding/touching

-Wearing lingerie and sexy clothes

-Performing various sexual acts on demand but preferably voluntarily and eagerly

-No whining or complaining

-Buying/using sex toys

The guy happened to write down and codify what he wanted and expected. He said nothing of house work, chores, money or any other areas of their life. He clearly did not want his wife to make the slide into prudery that so many do.

The world ain't ready for mainstream kink or kink in the mainstream. Can you imagine what people would be saying about this guy if he had made his wife wear a chastity belt? Egad! I am SO not feeling ready for prime time, right now. Yeah the guy is a crook, and thanks to his fuckheadery, all kinksters can expect to be further marginalized. People hearing about D/s will associate that with kidnapping and child porn. As if they didn't have enough problems with us, so-called "Twisteds."

At least it gave me something to write and think about.

Otherwise it has been an okay weekend. I hope everyone is having a groovy time!

D.

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9 Responses to “One For the Ages?”

  1. So Gone says:

    What is hilarious is that I planned on doing a post on this guy as well (I look at Smoking Gun all the time.) For the most part, I liked his contract. I’d like to be on the signing end of that contract, in most ways. Yeah, some of his stuff is a little out there, but it would prove to be a fun time, I think.

  2. Satan says:

    I had found and shared this with all my girlfriends recently.
    I can see the fun and even the practicality in this, but maybe it’s my laziness showing when I just thought it was too much! The right idea, but over the top. I felt exhausted just reading it to the end. It must be so tiring to be submissive all the time.

  3. Amanda says:

    In my opinion, the only way that a contract of this sort would work is if the submissive partner was WILLING to be submissive. Otherwise the dominant partner is just being a demanding jackass. The BSDM lifestyle is one of willing participation – otherwise it amounts to nothing but old fashioned slavery and rape. I think THAT was the point of this labeling of him as a perv. He sprung this contract on his wife after 9 years of marriage – then when she chose to leave him for it (obviously not the submissive type) – he kidnapped her, using the contract as justification. Had two willing, consenting adult partners drawn up and signed the same contract – I would have no problem with the idea. Forcing your will on your partner isn’t a loving relationship. Again, my opinion only 🙂

  4. Amanda’s got it. This wasn’t a document produced in a consensually D/s relationship. This was the guy trying to intistute this new regime to control his wife of 9 years.

    You can love your partner deeply, and not be LL either, and still not be willing to participate in this level of submission. Read it closely, Digger – it wasn’t just sleeping naked – it was clothes off and total servitude from 15 minutes after the children were in bed until sleep time. THat’s not just a fun little naked cuddle opportunity, that’s a freaking Ferengi! (“Ooh, you hoo-mans let yoru women wear clothes? Yick!”).

    This was a contract in which he gave her no personal time, no time that did not belong to either the kids or him. I don’t speak for all mothers of small children, but I can tell you that if I were always at the beck and call of either the kids or my husband, I would go insane. I need time that is *mine* and his “contract” allowed for none.

    FInally – since the D/s scene is one I only know about through reading, and it holds no appeal for me (either D or -shudder- s), I have to ask. If you are contracting with your spouse to do things that they don’t *want* to do, that they are trying to earn “good behavior days” on which they don’t have to do those things — is that really enjoyable? Is it *fun* fucking someone in the ass when you know they’re hating every minute of it and the minute they get these “good behavior days” they’ll use it to refuse you? If you have to give your wife time off for good behavior from these things, aren’t these things more than just D/s — they’re actual punishments?

    I thought Dom was different, in some way, from “I like to hurt people and make them do things they find painful and unsatisfying.” I realize that there’s also S/M and then BDSM out there as well, and they all get mixed together. But maybe someone can explain the difference to me?

  5. Digger Jones says:

    I would’ve like to have seen your treatment of this subjct, SG. Funny, I always thought of you being a bit more on the dominant side.

    Yes, Satan, there are days when it feels a bit much and bothersome. But that is usually what gets one into subspace…that extra push, as it were. His contract actually did not cover a lot, but was thorough in what it did cover.

    You’re right, Amanda, about proper D/s being with CONSENSUAL partners. So yeah, that would earn him a pervy sicko label. But the writers at Smoking Gun refer to the contract itself as repulsive, and call it a “sicko marriage contract.” I missed the whole 9 year marriage part, though, even after some searching.

    Broccolieater, I am not surprised that you would find this barbaric and distasteful to the max. Maybe next time you and your husband are having anal sex…

    Oh. Wait. Nevermind.

    If I get enough questions along the line of the idea behind “Good Behavior Days.”, I’ll do up a post on it. It’s roughly akin to getting release from the chastity cage, if you can follow that.

    I will say that the tying his wife up and sexually assaulting her several times is not cool, and I don’t really get that. In fact I get NOT getting that, as illustrated a few days ago when I did my “rapist” post. It’s not a turn-on for me.

    It’s why BDSM couples have and use safe words.

    D.

  6. Cali says:

    You know, I’ve never had a problem with that sort of lifestyle, and I definetly wonder about people who aren’t relaxed enough to explore other venues of their sexuality. Good post, sir.

  7. Desireous says:

    Truly I wouldn’t want to live my life in that 24/7 vein. However, I have to admit the whole thing leaves me feeling rather turned on. I like to fantasize about such things but I really wouldn’t want to get that far into the lifestyle. I do enjoy my personal freedom.

    This contract is a pretty common in the D/s Lifestyle. I find it kind of funny how people are up in arms over it.

    Hugs
    Des

  8. Synergy says:

    I’m not really into the whole dom/sub thing personally. And if Beowulf presented me with a contract like this I would probably make him eat it. However I understand some people are into this sort of thing. If he presented it to his wife knowing that this was not the sort of sexual play that she was into, then I would call the man a narcissistic prick. If however both partners already expressed an interest in that sort of lifestyle, then I don’t see what the big friggin’ deal is. To me something like this is all about the context of the situation, and it’s terribly irresponsible of the reporters not to further investigate the context of the presentation of this contract. But then… why should we expect such a thing as responsible journalism from the American media… when it’s sensational to put a half investigated story on the front page one day, and a retraction on page five the next just to keep the hot sheets selling.

  9. FTN says:

    I guess I’m not up-to-snuff on the whole dom/sub lifestyle either, because I just read the first page or two of that contract, and the whole concept seemed very… foreign. Mean. Demanding. I suppose much of that is due to what others wrote: She didn’t sign it, right? Why would you even make a contract like that for your spouse unless you were absolutely sure she was really, really into that type of thing?

    Plus, it seemed like he wanted a submissive “slave” 24/7. Even most submissives don’t want to be in that role permanently, do they?

    As I said, I have no expertise in this area, so perhaps someone else could set me straight. I’m confused as to what about this could even be slightly appealing to So Gone and Satan. Or maybe I should have read the rest of the contract. Was there a punch line at the end?

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