"I know the only reason I get any sex at all is because of who I am…
Even after doing a bunch of reading, I don't have much to write. Usually you all can inspire me to write something.
Since the last entry, where I felt like I was raping, my wife, I have backed off. I don't want to diminish whatever experiences readers have about the subject. But reluctance would be the high point of my wife's interest in me. Unwilling tolerance was the dominant feeling I came away with.
No, we haven't talked about it. Some of you would probably want to talk to the person who was sexually abusing you. But I suspect that most people who were victims of this would NOT want to talk about it with anyone. And an abuser would not want to talk about it either. It becomes a dirty little secret between the victim and the molester. Many of you have been victims of serious misuse. Arwyn says she has not, but I don't think I believe her. That tense, stiff, anxiety-ridden, defensive reaction is not natural.
I've been thinking about my new role as a sexual batterer. A sexual predator. A criminal for wanting sex with my wife. That's sort of how I feel. After all, I am touching her for the purpose of sexual gratification. Is it really consensual? It's about as consensual and voluntary for her as my stretches of celibacy are for me.
Under Georgia law, sexual battery is considered a lower form of rape. It is considered a high and serious misdemeanor punishable by a $5000 fine and up to a year in prison. It basically means the touching of anyone’s groin area, buttocks and chest area on women. If there is penetration, it is aggravated sexual battery and is a felony punishable by 10 to 20 years in prison. Basically whether or not it is considered a crime hinges on whether or not it is consensual. These laws are not gender specific, so theoretically they apply to both men and women. There is no provision in the law as far as marital status that I could see, although I'm sure it would influence court proceedings.
Interestingly, fornication and adultery are both misdemeanors in the state of Georgia. Sodomy is also a crime defined by oral or anal sex. However, the state Supreme Court has ruled that people engaging in consensual sodomy in the privacy of their own homes may not be prosecuted. This brings a bit of a smile, as I had a girlfriend years ago that I would suggest having oral sex by saying, "What do you say we go ahead and break the law tonight?"LOL! Back then, it was kind of exciting being an outlaw of a sort.
But rape lacks the luster that consensual sodomy or fornication held.
I've actually read of women who were groped by their husbands comparing it to a form of sexual assault. They complained mightily about being handled all the time. They were certainly not willing parties to these unwelcome sexual advances, were they? So how can a woman decline such advances without calling her husband a rapist? She could defer these advances to a later time when they were presumably more welcome and appropriate.
If such advances are never welcome, then it sounds to me like a form of entrapment. But there are no laws in the Georgia criminal code where not having sex is a crime. Basically, anyone who wants sex and has an unwilling partner (or no partner) is a potential criminal if they try to have sex. Even masturbation can be a crime in certain circumstances, although I've never heard of a woman being prosecuted for it.