How goes the War on Debt?

01/02/2002

Saturday

I’ve been reading the comments to my last post with a lot of interest. And gratitude. My readers have minds of their own and I never have to worry about a lot of silly fawning. This is good. Plus a lot of you are very smart and thoughtful.

That’s me fawning over you!LOL!

No update on the big fight except Elmo is fine and totally recovered. Arwyn and I are not fighting or anything. I got paid yesterday! wOOt! So did she and so we’re both feeling better. At least until she’s broke again.

I suppose Emily did the best job of laying out what Arwyn’s thoughts probably were on the deal. In her mind, I was an ass about not giving her money to buy medicine for the boys right off. But, as was said by some else (sorry), it might not have been about the medicine at all. And then a bunch of you thinking I’m a wuss for giving in. I can’t tell you exactly what Arwyn’s thoughts are on this and if we can move on, I’m okay with that. But I can tell you mine.

Basically, I gave in because I didn’t want to be depriving my children of medication, even if it wasn’t a life threatening thing. Yes, Arwyn is notoriously irresponsible with money. But I can’t allow my kids to suffer for it. That’s the biggest deal in our relationship. Her well-being is bound to the well-being of the kids. There’s no way to tax her without them being affected. Me, if I don’t get sex, what do my kids care about that?

Impulsiveness has a lot to do with spender psychology. I’m not totally immune, but I am better than my wife. She wants what she wants, and she doesn’t want to wait for it. If it’s something she doesn’t want, then she can put it off indefinitely, like paying certain bills. Or having sex. But once she wants something and gets it in her head, she becomes consumed by it. She can’t live with out it. And it must be NOW!

I want things, but I deliberate much longer. I may still give in to it, but I usually take more time deciding. Once I decide, that’s pretty much it. I’m pretty slow to reconsider. Which is why Arwyn is better off not pushing me on such thinks. Forcing me to decide in the moment will almost always result in a “NO.” Which doesn’t always stop her.

But we did manage to survive the toughest part of the year without charging any more or taking out any new loans or credit. Arwyn, despite impulsiveness, has a vague sense of what I’m trying to do. She really seems to be mostly supportive until something captures her attention and she loses her mind. But she is making some effort. If she gets a new car into her head, it will be on, again.

Usually our tax refund gets consumed into some sort of abyss and this year will not be much different. Except I’m throwing it all at the debt. That 27% interest is killing us. It’s not the smallest debt on the list, but that interest is simply too high to put off any more. I don’t like not having options, and that’s what debt does. I robs people of options and opportunities. You buy shit you don’t need with money you don’t have, and you pay a heavy price for it. At least the Capital One card is history. They recently changed their policy to one where if you are EVER 4 days late on your payment, the default rate goes to 25% automatically. In addition to the late fee. I’m sure other credit cards are jumping all over this.

I see a few other folks have too much month at the end of the money. Desperate Husband is still fighting the good fight and look towards a brighter financial outlook for 2006. And he has shattered my 103 day No Sex record. DH, I salute you!

Confused Husband also wrote a bit about having a checking account gasping for air. Only I’m not sure who the spender or saver is in his household.

……

While writing this, I just had a conversation with Arwyn while she was getting ready to take a shower. no panties, just a sweatshirt she kept pulling down. Teasing me. The topic of the conversation was mundane (vaccinations) but she had my undivided and rapt attention. I can just look at the woman and love her.

D.

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3 Responses to How goes the War on Debt?

  1. Emily says:

    Dear Dig, it sounds like you are at the point where you can see that Arwyn is making an effort and also that you are making progress on debt, and are feeling more positive. So pleased for you.

    On the ever-absorbing subjects of money and sex, I have some personal news: I got notification this week that my student loans are finally paid off. Yes, the ones that have been sucking up all my tax refunds for years. And (drum roll please), my partner and I finally had sex, almost five months after I had our baby, and it was GOOD! Plus, he has come up with a sex plan in which he will try to initiate sex once a week. I have my doubts things will come out that way, but I still appreciate the effort and will let you know how it goes!

    Emily.

  2. Well it sounds like you have the basics down for how to get out of the situation. Especially if Arwyn can see the problem too and wants out of debt.

    Thats pretty much how we got ourselves out of debt a few years ago. We took our tax return and paid off the highest interest card we had. We then took the 50 a month we used to pay on that card and added it to the next highest interest card. Then with our next return we paid it off. The last year we were paying about 120 a month on the last card by adding the previous payments to the last card. We ended up paying it off before tax time that year. Every year after that we would only use the 2 cards we have for emergencies untill Christmas time. But they would be paid off every year with tax money.
    By paying these off in the way we did our monthly outflow never changed but we still paid everything off. (I’m sure you know that though.)
    This will be the first year that we won’t be using 50% of our return to pay off credit cards. We only have a couple hundred to pay everything off. But it is still going to go into car repairs. 😦 This time my truck.

    As for me and Summer I’d say that neither one of us is a bigger spender or saver than the other. We don’t make enough money to pay for anything outside of the bills and food. Summer actually hates to shop. I love to shop and spend money when we have it. Especially when it comes to buying gifts. She prides herself in going under budget at Christmas time. I usually go over budget on her gifts, but don’t spend enough to make us break the bank. So in a way I guess you could call me the spender but I only spend within the limits.
    The problem now is that we need to get used to the house payments, keep the vehicles in running order, and get used to Summer’s new job arrangements.
    CH

  3. Digger Jones says:

    Congratulations to you, Emily! Woot! Looking for the day *my* loan is paid off.

    Now go and answer your tag!LOL!

    D.

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