Are All Orgasms Alike?

Time for a quick update…

I did spend the night with the Aneros inserted Tuesday night, and while the Super O eluded me, I did get some interesting and pleasurable feedback from it, especially during the early morning super wood.

Arwyn did see the doctor about her neck and back pains and turns out she was having some sort of muscle spasms. The prescription he gave her cleared that up fairly quickly. If it was associated with PMS, I can not say. Her hysterectomy was partial, meaning she still has her ovaries meaning she is still at the mercy of her hormones but not like she was before.

I just think it is fair to warn y’all that pleading insanity by reason of PMS does NOT exactly further the cause of feminism.

Wednesday night, I reinserted the Aneros. Arwyn came to bed about the same time as me and we spent a bit of time talking. We were holding hands and my thumb and fingers were caressing hers and she told me to be still. She admitted that the rubbing bothered her and overloaded her nerves. So I asked her if she minded rubbing me. She decided that would be okay, got the towel and used her hands to bring me to a strong orgasm, amplified by the aneros. I didn’t tell her I had it in, and she never knew. But it was very nice. And this leads me to my subject of the day…

A certain reader, while discussing orgasms asked, “Aren’t all orgasms the same?” Just to give you some background, she has never had an orgasm with a man, despite having been married before. And she masturbates often.

My opinion is that orgasms vary widely. For me, getting myself off is at the bottom of the orgasm scale as far as intensity. I can amp that up if I abstain for several days such as after being locked in the cage for awhile.

Intercourse is actually not the highest on the scale as far as intensity for me. Make no mistake, I crave and desire it like nothing else, but it is more for the intimacy involved. A partner giving me a good squeeze with her PC muscles can increase the intensity but orgasmic power is still not quite as much as my other two ways.

The handjob comes next. My wife gets me in a good grip and works me all the way through, which can actually bring me to a state of almost sensory overload. I sometimes put my hand on hers to slow her down. The use of lubrication can increase the sensations of a good handjob and increase satisfaction.

Finally, there is the blowjob. This is at my top of the orgasm scale for me. At least when my partner keeps sucking all the way through e.g. swallows. I’ve only experienced that a couple times and not with Arwyn. But it was a truly massive and moving experience.

But that’s just me. Maybe I’m weird. I’d be interested in knowing if others experience orgasmic variations. Especially women, who can have multiples and multiples of multiples. After the first one, are subsequent orgasms more intense and satisfactory than earlier ones?

Discuss and circulate


17 Responses to Are All Orgasms Alike?

  1. Square1 says:

    Orgsms vary depending on the level of arousal. As a female a hand job is a quick and slightly intense release, but not completely satisfactory. I’ve experienced little pleasurable cunnilingus, and that’s a very annoying topic, so I’m going to avoid it all together right now. When it xomes to penetration… oh yeah baby… now that’s the bomb. The orgasms can vary on intensity, and the way they hit. Some are sudden and powerful. Some fizzle out to where they fell all right, but are a little disappointing for all the work that was invested in reaching it. (I believe fatigue might be a big factor in that.) Others are a gentle wave of prolonged and very satisfying power, that don’t necessarily rock your world, but leave you with a content smile on your face just the same. The best ones though… come from penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time. THOSE have you reaching hieghts you never knew existed. Well… at least for me.

    BTW Digger is it possible Arwyn has some sort of sensory threshold that the kids ramp her up to involving the physical sensation of touch? All of us do, but most have a fairly high tolerance. For me personally I have a low threshold for audio stimulation. I have sensitive ears, and where I’m a very audio visually oriented person, prolonged exposure to high volumes, be it children, music, televisions, or other environmental things, send me off my friggin’ rocker by the end of the day. It’s hard on Cubed because he’s hard of hearing and has to blare the tv in order to hear it when he gets home, usually after I’ve already reached that threshold. Thank God for headphones!

  2. Satan says:

    “Discuss and circulate.”

    I’m just cutting and pasting that so you can’t think I, Sq1 or any comments that follow are ‘ganging up’ on you!

    “Especially women, who can have multiples and multiples of multiples. After the first one, are subsequent orgasms more intense and satisfactory than earlier ones?”

    Yes, in a way. The first one usually comes too fast to really enjoy, I’m usually cumming after a few minutes of foreplay. However, it’s like the first bite of chocolate – the sweetest! The next handful are explosive little peaks and then I usually try to time the last one for when he cums. That’s usually the best, as there is absolutely nothing sexier than hearing his breath become ragged and feeling the thrusting getting out of control. Those are the screaming Os, for sure.
    My partner has made a case study of trying to bring me to orgasm without touching my clitoris or penetrating me. I can O solely from stimulation on my nipples, and I came so. close. one time when all he was doing was just breathing in my ear. There are so many different ways to cum, I don’t think I have a favorite.
    . . But if I had to choose it would be cunnilungus on the couch while I’m watching the SuperBowl. That kicked ass!

    “I just think it is fair to warn y’all that pleading insanity by reason of PMS does NOT exactly further the cause of feminism.”

    It’s true though. I’m sorry to say that it’s very hard to understand if you’ve never gone through it. Imagine being irrated by and angry at everything in the world. It *feels* very valid and legitimate. When you, as a man, Digger, feel an emotion, you don’t have to search your mind for an alien presence to make sure that it’s really *you* that feels it, not your hormones. And I actually think that feminism will only be helped by men truly understanding what it is like to be a woman. It is NOTHING like what you experience. Nothing at all. Feminism is not about saying we’re all the same. It’s about saying we’re equal, but different.

  3. So Gone says:

    Wrote about it over at my place. 😉

  4. Tajalude says:

    Tom & I have discussed this before. For me, manual stimulation (him or me) ranks highest on my list because just about the only way I can orgasm. Penetration would be 2nd because it just feels good… I CAN orgasm, but it’s rare. It’s the most intimate for me. Oral would be 3rd, because I just don’t get much out of it, and I don’t get much… period. (Although it is improving.)

    Tom has said his “best” orgasms are from intercourse, then oral, then manual, although sometimes he is unable to orgasm from intercourse and I will finish with oral. Guess everyone is different!

  5. FTN says:

    Okay, are the men allowed to discuss this too? Am I in a room full of women?

    I wouldn’t say that all orgasms are the same either. Intercourse always seems to be the best for me, although there are probably different “levels” there as well. I wouldn’t know about oral, but hey, I assume that would be great.

    While I agree that men will never completely understand PMS, we DO have hormones, and males do have cycles of activity that can stimulate different levels of emotions for them as well. I can try to be understanding of a woman’s PMS, but it should never be an excuse to treat me like crap.

  6. Denise Regan says:

    No, they are not all the same. When I get myself off it’s more pronounced and defined, but then I’ve been doing that since my early teens and am nore used to the sensation. When I’m with my lover ( yes, we are back at it )he makes me come by massaging my g-spot. It’s less defined as to when it begins and ends; it can be more like one continuous orgasm. It does depend on the level of arousal for me, too, but for me, feeling wanted by him is a turn-on and the fact that he knows how to touch me, the level of trust and comfort between us….I used to never come at all but now I come almost right away and he can get me off this way anywhere. He loves it! It works out great for us both.

    I constantly ask him if he’s as satisfied as he makes me. He can’t come over and over like me and he accepts this, telling me it’s because of biology. I love his enthusiasm for making me come over and over and could easily take it for granted. Usually, mornings are good for us as far as him coming; he likes to wake up to my hands or mouth on his cock (it’s really cute!) and he comes pretty fast, too. Then, if we can spend the next several hours together, I’ll get him off again. I like him to feel wanted and appreciated too.

    I guess that’s straying a bit from topic, huh? Sorry. I’m just constantly amazed by our chemistry.

  7. aphron says:

    I think you described how it is for most men. Oral (giving and receiving) is the most pleasurable for me. BJs rank as number one. Many women may not prefer to perform on their significant other, but the sensations are much more intense than vaginal. Some women figure out the power of the BJ and use it for evil, but those that use this power for good will reap what they sow.

    HJs are ok for a quick release but would rank near the bottom. Intercourse is in the middle. I enjoy mainly because that’s Wife’s main attraction.

  8. My experience is lots like Denise’s, except that penetration is the best way for an orgasm with a partner. Husband’s penis is nicely curved up and hits what I guess must be the G-spot during face-to-face sex (Like my own personal aneros!) and that plus the pressure of our bodies against my clit makes for some happy times 🙂

    As a side note, have you seen this article on the effect of the Pill on the female libido?

    I know I had problems, but I had no idea that 30-40% of women have similar issues — and now theyr’e sayign the issues often don’t resolve when you stop the Pill!

    I especially love the part where one researcher calls this “a lot of fuss about nothing” and says that “women shouldn’t be concerned.” I bet if it was his wife who didn’t want sex and couldn’t get off when she did have it, he’d be a little more concerned by these results.

  9. JeN says:

    I’d have to say that I am able to have different kinds of orgasms. When it’s just me they usually give a feeling of relaxation all the way through my body.

    When with a partner there are several kinds due to the fact that they aren’t able to read my body the way I can. There are the little orgasms that can go one after another continually and leave me wanting more, there are the big ones that I can feel everywhere and make me feel satisfied and exhausted afterwards, there’s even ones that are almost painful due to their intensity.

    Most men I have talked to have said that their orgasms do not really vary depending on how they do it. I think those guys are missing out!

  10. JeN says:

    “I just think it is fair to warn y’all that pleading insanity by reason of PMS does NOT exactly further the cause of feminism.”

    I didn’t know that women acting differently because of monthly hormonal imbalances affected the way feminism was viewed. I’ve noticed that I react to things differently when I’m on my period than I do when I’m not. I become irrational and overanalytical and overemotional. I don’t think that just because hormones can affect the way one’s body works that feminism should be blamed.

    I have never seen myself as any less of a feminist because it is easier for me to cry when my hormones surge every month. Besides, there is a small percentile of women out there who actually cannot function while in the throes of PMS.

    I don’t think it’s fair that you said that feminists are set back just because we get our periods and may act a little differently.

    Hey, if you were overcome with emotion and intense pain for 5-7 days every month, I don’t think you’d be fully functional either.

    Just comment #2 from me to make up for my lack of them
    ; )
    I’m just getting a little snarky back atcha. Still love your writing though! Miss ya.

  11. Digger Jones says:

    Square, Arwyn does have sensory threshold issued, namely that her tolerance is very low with a narrow range. Mine is very high with a very wide range. I’ve got a good article on my other blog that talks all about sensory thresholds and the neurology of it. FWIW, everyone has unique sensory issues.

    Satan, I’m generally okay with an occasional gang bang. Thankfully I have a high threshold. Your partner and you obviously have a high level of comfort that allows some really cool exploration.

    Taja, maybe once Tom ditches the porn, there won’t be as many issues with not coming during intercourse!

    Yes, FTN, men are encouraged to weigh in on this. I was just specifically interested in the multiple aspect for those that had them.

    Geez, Denise! That was kinda HOTT! Maybe you could ramp the ole blog back up, and become a sex blogger!?!

    LOL Aphron! Yes, many women have used the power of the BJ for evil purposes. I think those who like oral may like the dynamic nature of the sensations, with the swirling, licking, sucking. For some, it is too much stimulation. For others, the changes and variety are just too distracting.

    Glad to see you piping in about actually having sex, Broccilieater! I was beginning to wonder! I’ve read about the pill, and it is a VERY common complaint amongst those on it. And behavioral patterns of avoidance won’t end overnight simply because one stops taking the pill.

    Jen, most younger guys don’t recognize differences in their own orgasms because they are ignorant. I know I was. It’s a byproduct of youthful exhuberance! Women tune in to their bodies earlier, so the potemtial is so much greater.

    PMS – I self-edited my own self as I was going to say something snarky about having a woman president with her finger on the button with a bad case of PMS. The only reason Margret Thatcher was as good as she was, was because she was post-menopausal. And the Faukland war might have been a hot flash!

    Believe it or not, I am still self-editing. I’m sure it is true that PMS is no picnic. Afterall, having to live with someone who has it is hard enough!LOL!


  12. Emily says:

    Orgasms definitely aren’t all alike to me.

    The ones from masturbation and/or his hands tend to be the strongest per see. More reliable and more intense.

    Oral sex, oddly enough, seems to result in less intense orgasms, but on the other other hand, getting there is fantastic. It can be a very subtle pleasure that starts slow or even nothing much, takes a while to build, and then gradually turns me into a quivering mess of sensation and SO HAPPY TO BE ALIVE!

    I really enjoy the ones from intercourse, but they tend to be harder to achieve and to feel more diffuse. A lot of the enjoyment comes from the intimacy, and the fun of him making me come over and over again. Once you get on a roll with orgasms, they generally get more and more intense and longer-lasting. Really, I could go on forever if I didn’t get tired!

    On the subject of things not being all alike, not all women are alike with PMS, either. I notice I feel things more intensely during that phase, things that would normally bother me bother me *more*. But, for me, the effect must be relatively mild because I can control my behaviour. The people I’ve lived with (including 4 men I shared a communal house with for years as well as my partner) have commented that they would never know when I was on the rag, as I act just the same as usual, not more bitchy or erratic or irrational.

    And I think men have hormonal cycles and issues too, which are just not so pronounced. It was *very* clear that something was wrong when my partner’s testosterone was down. Now *that* was bitchiness! The man was in a constant grump that he just couldn’t shake.


  13. claire says:

    I found myself asking myself this same question in a recent post. All I could come up with was that my orgams are not cut and dry, they’re more of a scale thing. Like, the difference between an earthquake and a tremor, maybe. If a tremor happens, do you still call it an earthquake?

  14. Michael says:

    I would have to pretty much agree with your orgasmic hierarchy. It seems that reliability is inversely proportional to intesity (did that sound intelligent or just dorky?).
    Masturbation is pretty reliable, but is more or less a quick fix.
    HJ-also reliable, and better than diy in its intensity, but not the top of the pyramid.
    Vaginal penetration-much better in feeling and you also gain the psychological aspect of it, i.e. positions, views of your partner, etc. Reliability and intensity can vary depending on various factors.
    Anal penetration-never experienced; so don’t know.
    BJ-The best/most intense orgasm I’ve ever had came from a bj (I was standing and my knees almost buckled) but that has only happened once. Bjs are rare these days and are usually a part of foreplay when they do happen, not the main event. Never had anyone swallow, but I’ve heard it makes it better.

  15. I am Just Me says:

    Orgasms through oral are the most intense for me, and if followed by a good fucking, the orgasm will keep going in waves until my man explodes. It’s extremely intense. I have never been able to cum through intercourse alone, but I have come very close recently. We are working on it… My guy says that intercourse gives him the most intense orgasm, closely followed by oral.

  16. sic says:

    You wrote this before I wrote my post(s) on the same sort of topic, and I didn’t even read until now.


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