Happy New Year!

01/01/2006

Sunday

Happy New Year!

It's amazing how one marathon sexual encounter can include so much drama and intrigue. Simply amazing. Let's go back…

The New Year's Eve adventure began shortly after the kids were in bed. Arrwyn came and asked me if I wanted to take a quick shower. This is as sure of a signal as I can get from her that there is sex ahead. I was actually mulling over my options. I thought about running to the store for some beer to conclude 2005 when Arwyn's invitation came. I decided it could still be an option if we finished soon enough. Right.

We had a little discussion when Arwyn asked me if I was locked up, which I was. She asked if I wanted to be unlocked and I told her she could if she wanted, but it wasn't strictly necessary. She then proceeded to look for the keys and couldn't find them. I had thought I'd extended the Timelock, so I wasn't sure I could get out that way, but told Arwyn I would check. Lo and Behold, the combination was decrypted. So I unlocked and replaced the key. Meanwhile, Arwyn found her keys. In the subsequent discussion, she said she didn't want to be responsible for them and really didn't want to fool with the cage anymore. She said I could if I wanted, but she didn't want to do it. I tried to explain how the cage helped move me into a better headspace to love her more the way she wanted me to. While she appreciated the effort, she was not really changing her mind. So the first emotion of the evening was disappointment.

So, I proceed to get a towel, undo the cage and take my shower. When I emerged, Arwyn was in bed, still wearing her sweat shirt. When I got into bed, I discovered she was naked from the waist down. She proceeded turn out all the lights and shed the shirt. She then climbed on top of me and began grinding into me with some intermittent kissing. I was hard and ready to go until she sat up and said "I should have asked for some natural progesterone for Christmas." Fact is, she simply was not very wet, and my own confidence deflated. She kept sticking with it, and whenever I got hard she would try to get me inside of her. At one point she said I could give her a backrub whilst she was on top. My hands were everywhere, anyway and despite some frustrations, I was enjoying our naked bodies together. I kneaded her back a bit and she flinched and winced when I touched her lower back as it was really sore.

We then switched to me on top, but she was still not wet enough. Then her on top again, with her kneading my cock with her hands when I got too soft. I inched my hands around her hands towards her pussy, wanting to help her out a bit, but she wanted none of that.

Finallly, she rolled off. "Are you too tired?" she asked.

"No." And I wasn't. I was frustrated and told her so.

"What are you frustrated for?" she asked.

So I told her. Basically for the past 10 years, she has taken absolute control over every facet of sex. When, how often, what positions, what touching was allowed, what touching was not allowed…everything. Fact is, I have no say in any of it whatsoever. I told her this was fine much of the time, but not all the time. She wants the control but none of the responsibility. And I've become weary of it. I'm not going to be able to stay hard on her schedule all the time, cage or no cage. In fact, the cage is the one place where I have asserted some semblance of control since if she had her way, it wouldn't be around.

We talked for a bit, and while talking, I guided her hand to my cock where she began squeezing and working it. Hand jobs are different that making love, simply because one person is getting the other person off. While still having some intimacy, it is more physical in nature and more about release. Much less risky for her. And me.

Masturbation also has this similar dynamic, where giving up control is not an issue. Might be something to consider for those of you women struggling with guys wanking off instead of having sex with you. Could it be about control? Is there give and take? Do both partner's have a say? Are both allowed to contribute?

Back to the story at hand; basically while the conversation drifted off to mundane matters of work and Arwyn's worries, I came. Just as I came, there was the sounds of exploding firecrackers and fireworks. We did share a good laugh at that, as we saw the clock struck midnight just as I came. So I did manage to ring in the new year with an explosion of my own!

Nothing else was resolved out of all this, but at least Arwyn has something to think about. She has an appointment with her gyn later this month, so maybe some of the physical issues might be addressed then.

D.

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15 Responses to Happy New Year!

  1. Dewdrop says:

    Well, you certainly managed to see the New Year in with a bang of sorts! lol

    Happy New Year Digger to you and your family :).

  2. Maybe the fact that you were coming at midnight is a harbinger of good things for 2006.

    I hope so.

  3. Desireous says:

    Well that is the most awesome way I’ve ever heard of anyone ringing in the New Year! You bring new meaning to ball dropping. LOL

    You brought up a very important and critical point to your wife and that is the taking of control and not taking responsibilty. But I wonder what her reaction was to this?
    Hugs
    Des

  4. O272 says:

    Hehe – good one, Des!

    I’m glad you talked to Arwyn, Dig. It’s been a long time coming…no pun intended.

    Maybe I missed something…but why didn’t you use some lube???

  5. Satan says:

    The fact that she wants no part in foreplay is the most telling, to me.

    She doesn’t even want to *begin* to enjoy intimacy with you.

  6. Rob says:

    I think basically that you both were out of practice. Remember practice make perfect. So I’m not surprised that she was not very wet and that you were frustrated. You both were not relaxed enough, especially since at the beginning things started off about the keys, the timelock, her not wanting to fool with the cage anymore”, etc etc – an awkward beginning. I figure that hopefully if you two try again soon for a “repeat performance” that it may well go much better. Run it by her, why don’t you? Since you are one-for-one, why not try for two-for-two since it IS Jan. 2nd after all. So go fer it Digger Dude 🙂

  7. ArtfulDodger says:

    This all sounds like good news Dig!! The whole time I’m reading though I kept asking why someone didn’t lather on some lube and get down to business!

    But it looks like a great start to the new year AND you did get a chance to lay some things out, let’s see if those seeds bear fruit in 2006!

  8. FTN says:

    Hey, good for you that you two were communicating that much. I understand your issues… the low libido spouse does seem to always hold the proverbial “keys” in a sexual relationship, because they act as such a gatekeeper. I hope things continue to improve.

    And I can’t speak for Digger, but in response to the other commenters: some women just really don’t like lube. Maybe Arwyn doesn’t care for it.

  9. JeN says:

    What a way to ring in the new year!

  10. Lizzie says:

    Speaking for myself, it’s uncomfortable to be touched when I’m not wet. We start with lube and that makes my husband’s touch much more arousing to me. And we ALWAYS use lube for intercourse. Maybe this would be helpful for Arwyn?

  11. Denise Regan says:

    Sounds like a very healthy exchange. Of course you have a say! The thing with her having control over the whole experience all the time allows her, once again, to stay in the same place in her head.

    She needs to realize that there’s nothing wrong with pleasing you even if she’s not feeling it. I don’t know what I’m trying to say, sorry. I think it’s great you told her what was up even if it may have made things awkward and uncomfortable.

  12. Congrats on bringing in the new year with a bang! That’s great!
    I think it’s great that you guys talked as well. Somethings just need to be said. I hope that she was listening with an open heart and mind.
    I think that 2006 might just be the year for you guys. You certainly brought the year in right!

  13. I think I asked this before but..

    I know you said Arwyn ended up with a hysterectomy – does she still have her ovaries? That can make a huge difference in the ability to get wet.

    The problem with some lubes is that they sort of “wear out” or rub in — kind of like hand lotion? And if you’re not making your own wetness by then, it gets uncomfortable.

    What about *you* rubbing *yourself* with the lube before hopping into bed? That’s something that is under your control, even if touching her isn’t?

  14. Katie says:

    Happy New Year! Interesting way to start it to say the least. hehe

    With the “wetness” issue, is she on any allergy or cold meds? Those work by drying up mucus passages which usually includes the vagina. Just a thought. I hope you two are able to work out something soon.

  15. Sie says:

    She doesn’t get wet. You don’t stay hard. Sex really is an issue with you guys.

    Happy New Year!–>

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