I finally found a term that describes what happens after several days in the cage. And that's where I'm at now. It's a process of ascention that gradually increases over time. The process can be enhanced and quicken through greater intimacy with Arwyn and it becomes a sort of cycle. More subspace = more attraction = more attionion which leads to a greater level of subspace.
Last night I was deep into it as Arwtn and I cuddled and just talked about stuff. Holding her and being held helped sink me deeper into that space, with the cage in a near constant grip. My cock is in a hypersensitive state brought on my not touching it or anything touching it besides the cage. Over the course of our talk, Arwyn became more open to being touched and held and became more open to touching and holding me. It was divine. No mention was made of being unlocked, and that would sort of defeated the whole idea. Yeah' I'm definitely looking forward to being let out, but I'm also liking where I'm at emotionally and mentally. Where Arwyn and I are at together.
Leela is wrong about not being brought together with chastity. A body will never feel better about someone by treating them badly. No one can be enticed into being treated better through poor treatment. Chastity helps me get into a space where I can traverse the intimacy gap between us. I go the extra mile, and Arwyn begins to respond to that. She is not prone to initiate the process, so the choice is to either let things fester or to begin some sort of healing of the breach. While in subspace, my own rights matter less. It is only by sacrificing some of that that I begin to get the attention that I'm really after.
Arwyn is not quite the cold fish I sometimes paint her as. She does respond to loving gestures and selfless service. She can be inspired by acts of affection and will reciprocate in the best way she knows how. If she decides to keep me locked up because she likes me this way, it is up to me not to complain about it. I'm not doing this just to get in her pants. I'm doing this to improve our entire emotional environment.
At some point she may ask if I want to be unlocked. This may be where I need to find the courage to say no. I like loving her this way. I like her loving me this way. I do not want to pressure her to think she has to meet my sexual needs. I want her to feel like she wants to meet my sexual needs. I don't want it to be a chore, I want it to be an exercise in greater intimacy.
I can not get into this space while I am indulging in and catering to my own selfishness. It just is not going to happen. Subspace is just a more loving and giving place. It's not a convenient place, and it is sometimes a pain in the ass. The chastity cage is just my means of getting there, and once I get to a certain point, Arwyn begins to respond which brings me even further in.
Not everyone can or will do this and I'm okay with that. Leela and Pheonix have a more balanced rrelationship that does not seem to require extraordinary measures to keep it going. Just playing with it can be fun, as many guys have discovered. If a guy is open to it, go for it. Phoenix, by virtue of being open to giving it a try, demonstrates a lot of security and trust and confidence. No wonder Leela is so into him!