Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Drama

12/18/2005

Sunday

It's been awhile since I've written some major flops, but nobody can hit it all the time. Maybe a holiday slowdown. No, not here, but Unsolicited Advice still suffers, despite efforts to invest thoughts and energy.

If you're still scratching your head over the Learning post, there's background on my other blog which may help out a bit. I'm trying to get the two to work together. This one providing a storyline while the other provides some commentary and background. Sinners Anonymous provides a more solid handle on some core beliefs of mine.

Oh, so I suppose I should engage in some updating in addition to shameless self-promotion. When last we updated, there was some lull in any activities relating to either conflict or intimacy. And so the count-up could resume. It was Tuesday when I decided to re-apply the recreated CB3000. Nothing too exciting happened until Thursday, when I was up wrapping and putting together gifts to go out Friday.

Being locked up in a cage does do some things to alter a given sleep schedule. Namely every healthy man has erections during the night, with the biggest one in the early morning. I normally don't struggle much until the 3rd night or so, but I hadn't ogasmed since the last time with my wife. So I was already hornier than normal when I locked up. In anticipation of these late-night erectile intrusions on my sleep, I try to get to bed earlier to compensate. But Thursday night I had things to do that could not wait and took longer than expected. I finally turned in around 1 a.m. At 2:30 I awoke with the first boner of the night, and I knew I needed my sleep. I had not encrypted the combination code, yet, so went ahead and got on the computer and found the code and sleepily dialed up the numbers, then adding 3 to get the combination that would open the door to the keys. I unlocked the lock and took the CB off. Ahhh! Sleep at last! Yeah, I was hard from getting out but slept instead of rubbing out an orgasm right then.

The next day I had dinner with coworkers and had a couple beers which was relaxing. When I got home Arwyn was just putting the boys to bed. Rather than wasting time on the computer I thought I might turn in early myself. So Arwyn layed down in an almost normal position and we began kissing, which quickly fired me up. She had to leave the room to go do something, and I slipped out of my underwear and under the covers. When she returned, we resumed the cuddling and kissing.

There are almost always issues with these spur-of-the-moment encounters. It seems that our LL folks simply can not handle spontaneity. The risk of losing control is too real. When I cuddle Arwyn, I love to caress her and rub her backrub. Sometimes she likes the backrubs. I always do, because moving my hands around generally keeps the nerves firing. For me, that's the point is to fire as many nerves as possible. But for Arwyn and others less sensually inclined, it is the opposite. Too many firing nerves is disconcerting (See This post for a more in-depth take on this), and Arwyn insisted that my hands remain still and that my body remain still. By this time, I was writhing and grinding in severe want and need. I tried to stay still for a few minutes. We lay there completely still, and I could feel and hear the pounding of my own heart begin to wane. I am naked, under covers, Arwyn is clothed and on top of them. As soon as she moved to adjust her position I was on the move again. She finally said, "Do you think we could get together tomorrow night?"

"Um, well…sure, but, um, do you think you could use your hands on me tonight?"

She began going on about how sore her hands were and how tired she was and that this would take at least another 30 minutes. Her hands always crack and bleed during the winter, partly because she is such a compulsive handwasher and she just has dry skin. I pointed out that she may be too tired the next day with us having 3 different parties to go to with the kids. I finally convinced her to give it a go, assuring her that this wouldn't take long.

And it didn't. Once I got a towel and she started handling my desperately swollen member it took all of about 90 seconds before I exploded. One reason for the speed was she was using a very firm grip and very aggressive strokes, giving it to me hard. In this instance, I was okay with that but I did make a mental note of her aggressive style, including during my throbbing explosion to the point it almost nearly hurt! I'm one that upon orgasm things do get very sensitive and too much stimulation gets to be a bit much. I like her playing through, but had to grab her hands to slow her down and let up a bit.

"Feel better?" she asked.

That question at that particular time annoys me for some reason. It degrades what should be an intimate encounter to purely physical release. I suppose it was, but it's still annoying. So I replied likewise, "Sure. That wasn't so bad now, was it?" She immediately took offense to that one. I tried to explain that her question to me was taken in the same manner as the one I asked her. We did smooth it over, rephrasing our words to reflect more warmly accepted and generally less snarky comments.

The next night, just as I foresaw, she was dead tired. I decided not to push and let her sleep and I stayed up goofing around on the computer, watching a movie. About midnight our youngest started throwing up, so we were both up for the clean up. So it turns out it was lucky she got the extra sleep she did.

Here's a question for whatever readers are still around who are familiar with this clashing libido issue: It seems to me that libido and general health are highly correlated. Among couples that I know that struggle with this, the LL most frequently suffers from much poorer health all around. Would you say that the poor health causes the low libido (LL) or could one say that the lack of sex might be indicative of some psychopathology that might actually cause more health problems. I remember seeing a study somewhere showing that women who had sex where the man ejaculated inside of them actually had fewer signs of depression than those that did not, the idea being that there was something in the semen that got into the bloodstream and elevated serotonin or something. The women were generally happier, even independent of getting their own orgasm. Not that women don't need their oown. I believe women need orgasms and lots of them.

What I wouldn't give to be a doctor during the era when they treated female hysteria by doling out orgasms!

D.

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9 Responses to Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Drama

  1. So Gone says:

    In general, I am actually of poorer health than my LL boyfriend. However, most of this is genetic, but I do see an increase in my health when we are having sex regularly and we are in better spirits with each other, not to mention that I sleep much better. I saw an article a week ago that said that people in bad marriages (which I’m sure lack of sex would be included in the “bad marriages” category) are always in worse health.

    My Boyfriend is a smoker, does physical labor, does not get alot of sleep and tends to be in a worse mood than me. I think that these things attribute in some small way to our lack of sex, but I think that the lack of sex more likely attributes to his health problems/bad attitude, at times. When we have had sex more than once in a week, he generally seems to be in a better mood, sleep more soundly and “glow” in a way.

    I can’t think of a single person who gets sex frequently and/or gets the type of sex they want frequently who is in poor health, in a bad mood or has trouble sleeping.

  2. You raise a fascinating question, Mr. Jones. It’s something I’ve thought about frequently. I think I’ll tackle it in my own location.

  3. I’ve read the exact same study online. First heard about it on the radio a few months ago.

    As for the sex/health thing I’m not sure. Especially since I am home sick from work today. Could it be the lack of sex the past week? Something to ponder. I know that Summer gets sick way more often than I do. I get sick maybe 1-2 times a year. But when I do get sick it is really bad. Summer on the other hand gets sick 1-2 times a month. Good question.
    CH

  4. Summer Rose says:

    This post has been removed by the author.

  5. Summer Rose says:

    What a debate! To me as long as you take care of yourself. You shouldn’t get sick, then again if you have kids then it’s a different story. Okay so maybe sex may have something to do with being healthy. It is a good question. 🙂

  6. Soledad says:

    I’ll have to disgree with there being a connection between LL and health. I’m the lower libido between myself and my husband, and I’m definitely in much better condition health-wise than he is.

  7. O272 says:

    I winced at the “Feel better?” comment. I’m glad to hear that you smoothed things over instead of ignoring it, though. Good move!

  8. C-Marie says:

    I think so too that there may be a connection with health vs. LL or HL. I, as an HL, hardly get sick and if I do, it’s quick to get over. On the other side of the coin – JM is the LL and seems to always catch whatever is going around.
    I have read somewhere that frequent sex kicks the endorphins into high gear thus allowing our bodies to do the job it’s suppose to do when needed to ward off or fight for our good health. (of course that is combined with a positive attitude and a reduced stress level.)
    Prevention is ALWAYS better than the cure! heehee.

  9. Leela Lamore says:

    I answered this on AAG’s blog today so I will simply state one word “penis-cillian”.

    Both Phoenix & I rarely suffer from anything that is going around. The last time I had to go to the doctor for that type of thing was about 7 years ago.

    Glad to hear you smoothed things over a bit on your side … snide remarks are like sparks blowing in the wind in dry country.

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