Naked Time

12/9/2005

Friday

I’m getting behind in my reading and seriously unable to leave comments everywhere that I want. But life still goes on. And so my life has.

YES!

Last night the date was kept. It got after 9:00 and I was beginning to wonder since the boys were in bed by 8:00 and she was on the computer. That has been a recipe for disaster in the past.

So I got ready for bed, and caught up with some of my reading while waiting. Naked. When she came in, I could barely contain myself. She was feeling cold so was not completely naked when she got under the covers with me, but this did not last long. I am a walking heater most nights and last night was a veritable blast furnace. I would have been content with a whole lot of naked snuggling. Seriously. It has been sooooo long. But I was stiff as a board. I’m not sure what Arwyn’s frame of mind was going into this, but I determined way early on to not look a gift horse in the mouth. She eventually shed all remaining clothing and got on top of me.

Top position is best for her and at this point I would be fine with almost any position. Anything that involve us being naked and mashed up against each other. I moved my warm all over her to keep all the naked exposed parts warm and toasty.

You know what? I’m going to abbreviate the steamy details. Firstly, because they are not altogether exciting. Besides, there are better sex bloggers out there. I don’t think of myself as a sex blogger as much as a relationship one. Second, there were no major issues, which is a blessing in itself. Finally, I think I need to punish all the folks leaving the snarky comments a couple days ago as well as the readers not leaving any comments! My apologies to those who left adoring, admiring and otherwise ego-stroking comments. You deserve more, and I’ll do better for you next time. See you in 104 days.

It was good, it was relaxing, it was what I needed. I think the morning was actually much steamier and more sensually erotic, truth be known. Her naked and me fully clothed (and locked up) while ravishing her with kisses was seriously approaching a major fantasy of mine.

Which reminds me of FTN’s little question/poll

How many married readers would be content to spend months planning, say, a surprise getaway weekend to an isolated, rustic cabin — with a big jacuzzi bathtub — and specifically plan to NOT have sex? If you did, would it be an enjoyable, or a frustrating, week?

Doable. For me, anyway. But there is a complicated dynamic and it would be difficult for the LL to fully except it. One problem is the old Bill Clinton thing: What is sex? What is is? I mean this is a supposedly romantic thing, right? An intimate thing, right? One problem I’ve encountered in various run-ins with our LL women is that there is a basic intimacy problem that sometimes extends beyond just sex. The sex is more symbolic of a closeness they are simply not comfortable with. The chastity/lock up gambit was my solution to this. Yes, if I were locked up the entire time and we could be intimate without specifically having sex while still having some degree of physical and emotional intimacy, I would do it. It would be enjoyable and frustrating. But that’s just my kinkiness coming through. I can find enjoyment in a certain type of frustration as long as it is consensual. The problem is that even this has sexual overtones and expectations that put pressure on the LL partner. But the concept is that they could relax without the pressure. Leave the keys at home and have at it. But eventually there would have to be a payoff at some future point. Could a LL person let go of that expectation in order to relax and enjoy the sex-free weekend without that expectation looming over and casting its dark shadow? The success of the whole venture would depend on that. Fact is, the majority of LL women are so neurotic, it would be difficult for them to let go of their worry long enough to enjoy the experience. This plays right on into the whole sexual experience. Sometimes they can let go once they are in the throes of passion, but that is not a sure thing.

Okay, back to the question: Could I do it? Yes, most definitely. But probably not the same way as most other folks. I would definitely anticipate some naked time, but necessarily sex. Would that be a fair compromise?

D.

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12 Responses to Naked Time

  1. Sie says:

    We can all gather that you ‘enjoyed’ it. The question is, did she? And then her allowing ravishing kisses? That’s quite a turn around for her. What are we missing here?

    That must of been one hell of a talk the other night.

  2. So do you think it was the locking up that swayed her? Or the talk you had on the day you locked up? Or do you think she read your note?

    Congratulations – I hope it won’t be another 100 days.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I find the turn around somewhat interesting as well. The thing that annoys me however is the fact that you “got” what you wanted – and still you aren’t happy. By saying it wasn’t “altogether exciting” then the sarcastic “see you in 104 days”. Then you go on to say it was what YOU needed and then continue to put the effort down by saying the morning was better when you were teased. I’m actually more on the high libido (every day at least – and sometimes more than that)- but this kind of selfishness would probably push the libido right out of me. I’m curious to know what has led her to the low libido tendency now. I am not sure what exactly you are wanting. You say you’d be happy with anything at this point, then go on to dissect it and insult it. Maybe I’m not annoyed, just very sad.

  4. Whatever her reasons, I’m glad you two got together, Digger. Truly glad for you.

  5. O272 says:

    Glad to hear she finally unleashed you, D!

    You aren’t unhappy about it, are you? I didn’t get that impression from your post?

    I hope this is a step in the right direction for you and Arwyn. Did she happen to sleep head to toe after that?

  6. Denise Regan says:

    I think, if D seems like he’s “not happy” after finally getting what he needs, he just realizes that there’s still work to be done. One sexual encounter after 104 days of nothing and ten years of feeling unwanted wouldn’t exactly make me breathe a big sigh of relief either.

    I’m glad this happened. I hope you can continue to work toward having more intimacy in your relationship.

  7. Leela Lamore says:

    Digger I shoot straight from the hip. I am happy for you but I sob in disbelief that you “expect” another bout of drought to hit. Come on honey be positive be honest and be true to yourself. Arwen is “open” to sex now… don’t let the door slam shut, keep your toe in there and push for intimacy. You BOTH deserve it; if you think you are the only one in this relationship needing it you are so very wrong!

  8. Square1 says:

    I agree with the last two commenters. D. I hope this pushes forward. And as far as my snarky comments… I give nothing but honesty. Sometimes the truth hurts.

  9. ArtfulDodger says:

    I am truly happy for you Digger! You stuck with it and never really gave up, despite wanting to from time to time. Chin up and keep the positive energy going, let her see a different you, even in subtle ways, as someone else said, one time doesn’t a fence mend, but it is movement in the right direction for once and that is forward momentum as far as I am concerned. And that makes me happy for you.

  10. Soledad says:

    I have to wonder how many of those “neurotic” LL women, and LL women in general, are LL because they just don’t love their partner in ‘that’ way anymore, and thus don’t feel right in having sex with them.

  11. JeN says:

    Hurrah for perseverance!
    Maybe that ice cube of hers is finally thawing a bit?

  12. Lizzie says:

    To say I’m happy for you would be a major understatement! Arwyn is trying, I know she is. Having come from where she is I can only hope that you will have a rich sex life when your kids are grown. It seems like forever but the time flies by, believe me!! Hang in there….

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