LJBF

Shoot. I feel bad about leaving everyone hanging, but I'm going out of town for a couple of days to take care of some business. Then there's Thanksgiving and all that.

Since deciding to leave town, there's little to no friction. Except for the frustration, of course.

Day 86, anyone?

Arwyn has said it in the past, and seems to be sticking to it now, where she says we have to go back to being friends before she can feel sexually attracted to me. She has shown some affection but nothing romantic or sexual. So, if she wants to just be friends, does that mean I can see other people?

Friendly intimacy is different than husband-wife intimacy. I don't remember God saying “Cleave to your wife and become one flesh after being friends for awhile.” We are either cleaving or we are not. Are we already cleaved together? Or were we ever?

This evening, I spent time trying to hit some of Arwyn's love languages, namely quality time and acts of service. I changed the oil in her car and then made chicken nuggets with onion rings for dinner…one of her favorites. Then we sat down and ate as a family and the kids actually did well tonight as opposed to the meltdowns of the past couple of nights. Then after they were put to bed, I spent time watching HGTV with her for a bit. She showed absolutely no inclination towards any romantic/sexual notions and ended up finishing up some housework before going to bed. I'm a bit put off by that.

If I'm going out of town for any length of time, I would think a smart wife might at least make some effort to contend for her husband by sending him off with a good memory to bring him back. I notice Desperate Husband's wife doesn't get this concept, either. Of course, a “Welcome Home” fuck would be just as effective provided there was some teasing or play over the telephone while away. But that isn't happening either. At least not with Arwyn.

I plan on doing some writing while I'm gone, but we'll see. You know how that goes.

D.

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10 Responses to LJBF

  1. Mia says:

    Hmmm. I’m really not sure what to think by her actions. I do think that you should at least be given the opportunity to at least date other women. I mean, it’s like she has this dog (and this is not meant to be offensive, just the first example i could think of at 1.19am and 30+ hours without caffiene), and she tolerates him. She doesn’t feed the dog, or play with him, or love on him. She just tolerates him. By my thinking, she should at least let someone else walk and feed the dog if she’s not going to do it.

    Because you know, if you don’t take care of your dog, they’re either going to get highly depressed or run away at the first chance they get.

    (reading back on it, that makes no sense. but i know what i was trying to say so i feel ok about it. =)

  2. Leela Lamore says:

    Mia I get it completely.

    Digger you know exactly how I feel about your situation. Just remember that a starved dog can ravish the dog walker … *wink*

  3. Aimee says:

    “So, if she wants to just be friends, does that mean I can see other people?”

    That comment made me laugh out loud. I’d say yes but then again I’ve said yes, and almost screwed up my marriage (literally). In Arwyn’s case with as easily as she becomes upset with you, stepping out would probably end the marriage instead of opening her eyes and forcing her to work things out with you.

    But have a happy Thanksgiving anyways!

  4. Butterfly says:

    I agree with Aimee…
    An open marriage can be fantastic (I am in one) but if there is friction between the partners it usually just leads to more friction and could ultimately destroy the marriage.

    I wish I had more advice for you though.

  5. DH says:

    Have a safe trip…try to enjoy yourself.

    I’m praying your streak ends soon.

    (We have to be the two loneliest married male bloggers on the planet, I swear.)

  6. You know, I really do feel for you. I understand, unfortunately from experience, what you are saying. But the experience was me acting like Arwyn. I have opened my eyes now, but I think it’s too late. So I think some time with you away is good. But if she wants her eyes to be open, she’ll do it. If she doesn’t then it won’t happen. Strange stuff. It may not be that she doesn’t love you, it’s just something that she can’t explain.
    I am actually going to talk to a counselor tomorrow to see if I can figure out what triggers those things in me. Maybe I’ll be able to give you some insight later on.
    I hope you have a great holiday.
    Take care!

  7. Dewdrop says:

    Hope your trip goes well, Digger.
    What does LJBF stand for?

  8. Square1 says:

    Happy travel, hope you have a hppy turkey day.

  9. Shay says:

    Have a good trip!

    Maybe you should run the “seeing other people” idea by her…

  10. Digger Jones says:

    LJBF = Let’s Just Be Friends

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