In an email exchange, the topic of being ravished came up…
Q: Do you REALLY think you would like to be ravished by a woman? Or would you be scared? And how do you feel about being the one doing the ravishing?
On the topic of ravishing, maybe you could describe your definition so that we’re talking about the same thing. I think of ravishment as a sort of animalistic devouring with great gusto. It is aggressive but not spiteful. Passionate to the point of pushing boundries. Would I be scared at first? Oh, yes! Terrified even, maybe. At first. Since it has been so very, very long since I’ve been treated to anything remotely resembling my definition of being ravished, it would take some real getting used to. Now it comes to me the first time I was ever ravished…
[insert dreamlike flashback effects here]
The girl, in question, had gone out with friends to a club to see some male strippers. When they goot back to her place, she made a late night booty call. It was something else to walk in to her place and see her simply seething with lust in her eyes. There was no ambivelance about it. I was going to be attacked. The only thing that kept her somewhat in check was the fact that a friend of hers was still there. She fairly shoved her friend out the door when I arrived and then she pounced on me. Yes, it was a bit scary to be looked at like a lion looks at a herd of feeding gazelles, but it was also very much a turn-on. To be wanted that way, with such raw lust, hunger and desire was invigorating. A wonderful confidence booster.
[exit dream-like sequence]
I suppose women get that sort thing a lot. The lustful, hungry looks where you feel like prime ribeye at a flesh market. Wear a short skirt or plunge neckline and the carnivores are licking their chops. As men, the animalistic response is wired into us. Once married, I think women spend a lot of effort in squelching and driving that out of us in an attempt to domesticate us. The average guy does not typically elicit this response from women. If we wear short shorts, or worse, a thong, most of us are going to get laughed at. There is precious little we can do to trigger that hungry response. In the case of my experience, the girl was primed up by other guys! In another instance, a girlfriend had been watching some porn and when I walked in. She had smoke coming out her nostrils. I was promptly ravished. Again, it had little to do with anything I did aside from showing up at the right place at the right time.
To be sure, it can be intimidating…at first.
My need to ravish harkens back to a guy’s need for power and control and having his chosen partner willingly (even eagerly) submit to the ravishment. In some ways, giving myself over to to my desire to ravish someone is more difficult than submitting to someone elses desire to ravish me. My many years of marriage have effectively wrung out whatever raw power and energy I might be able to bring to bear on a ravishing experience. I’ve become conditioned to rejection and nothing can suck out a person’s vitality more effectively than ravishment rejected.
Can I get an AMEN?