On Being Ravished and Ravishment

In an email exchange, the topic of being ravished came up…

Q: Do you REALLY think you would like to be ravished by a woman? Or would you be scared? And how do you feel about being the one doing the ravishing?

On the topic of ravishing, maybe you could describe your definition so that we’re talking about the same thing. I think of ravishment as a sort of animalistic devouring with great gusto. It is aggressive but not spiteful. Passionate to the point of pushing boundries. Would I be scared at first? Oh, yes! Terrified even, maybe. At first. Since it has been so very, very long since I’ve been treated to anything remotely resembling my definition of being ravished, it would take some real getting used to. Now it comes to me the first time I was ever ravished…

[insert dreamlike flashback effects here]

The girl, in question, had gone out with friends to a club to see some male strippers. When they goot back to her place, she made a late night booty call. It was something else to walk in to her place and see her simply seething with lust in her eyes. There was no ambivelance about it. I was going to be attacked. The only thing that kept her somewhat in check was the fact that a friend of hers was still there. She fairly shoved her friend out the door when I arrived and then she pounced on me. Yes, it was a bit scary to be looked at like a lion looks at a herd of feeding gazelles, but it was also very much a turn-on. To be wanted that way, with such raw lust, hunger and desire was invigorating. A wonderful confidence booster.

[exit dream-like sequence]

I suppose women get that sort thing a lot. The lustful, hungry looks where you feel like prime ribeye at a flesh market. Wear a short skirt or plunge neckline and the carnivores are licking their chops. As men, the animalistic response is wired into us. Once married, I think women spend a lot of effort in squelching and driving that out of us in an attempt to domesticate us. The average guy does not typically elicit this response from women. If we wear short shorts, or worse, a thong, most of us are going to get laughed at. There is precious little we can do to trigger that hungry response. In the case of my experience, the girl was primed up by other guys! In another instance, a girlfriend had been watching some porn and when I walked in. She had smoke coming out her nostrils. I was promptly ravished. Again, it had little to do with anything I did aside from showing up at the right place at the right time.

To be sure, it can be intimidating…at first.

My need to ravish harkens back to a guy’s need for power and control and having his chosen partner willingly (even eagerly) submit to the ravishment. In some ways, giving myself over to to my desire to ravish someone is more difficult than submitting to someone elses desire to ravish me. My many years of marriage have effectively wrung out whatever raw power and energy I might be able to bring to bear on a ravishing experience. I’ve become conditioned to rejection and nothing can suck out a person’s vitality more effectively than ravishment rejected.

Can I get an AMEN?


My link of the day, gleaned from the chastity mail list. I await JeN or Shay‘s review of this device.

10 Responses to On Being Ravished and Ravishment

  1. Aroused Girl says:

    Amen, my brother.

    You are right, rejection is horrible. Absolutely horrible. Even though we know it has little to do with us and tons to do with them, it’s still horrible. I feel for you.

  2. Leela Lamore says:

    Phoenix often Ravishes me and I often Ravish him … we are married and I still after 3 years cannot get enough of my man. There are times when his Ravishing are just for him and vice versa … is that a bad thing?

  3. Tajalude says:

    This subject depresses the hell out of me.

  4. Aroused Girl says:

    Dearest Digger, I’ve been forced to tag you…

    1. Delve into your blog archive.
    2. Search the archives for the 23rd post.
    3. Find the 5th sentence, or closest to.
    4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas.
    5. Tag 5 people to do the same.

  5. BroccoliEater says:

    The thing is, if someone is doing it to you, you know that you are, at some level, safe. You can stop things from going in a direction that you don’t want, at any time.

    A woman, facing a man intent on the same thing, is often facing a person who can physically overpower her, and make her submit to his fantasy, even if is not her fantasy as well. This is a scary thing, and no, it is not a confidence booster for many women.

    Women are sent the message from the time we grow breasts that if something does happen to us, if we are raped or assaulted, it is partly our fault because we should know that “guys are like that.” We’re supposed to somehow be able to tell the difference beforehand between a man who really just wants a hot-sex kind of up-to-the-boundaries “ravishment” and a man who is going to push past all boundaries to hurt us.

    Not all women have rape fantasies. So – no amen here. Sorry.

  6. Tajalude says:

    “Rape fantasies” seems like a rather broad generalization. Those of us in longterm, loving, caring relationships that are trusting and open with each other should know each others’ boundaries. There is still room for unbridled lust and “ravishing” without it being a rape fantasy.
    I understand the point you’re making, and maybe I’m off base, but I don’t think that’s what D was saying.

  7. Dewdrop says:

    tajalude – I’m with you 100%, but from completely the other end of the spectrum I think! lol

  8. Dewdrop says:

    Oops sorry my comment was in reference to tajalude’s comment “This subject depresses the hell out of me.”

  9. Shay says:

    Robospanker!? hahahaha

    I don’t like being spanked THAT much, it’s just not the same if it’s not with a real hand. lol But thanks for the thought. ^_~

  10. chelsea girl says:

    It’s funny, my Donny often asks if I’m trying to intimidate him when I say explicitly directly lascivious things to him on the phone.

    No, I tell him, I’m not. I’m just being me.

    What is it that makes female lust so scary?

    And what is it that makes male lust so hott?

    And as a side note, I wish you were getting and doing all the ravishing you could handle. Every time I read you, I just feel really badly for you and yours, my dear Digger.

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