October 24, 2005




That’s how old I turned today. Yes, today was my two and fortieth birthday. Two score and two years ago, on a bright, warm day in October I breathed my first breath of air. As the first born, the life of my 19 year-old mother and 23 year-old father would never be the same. They’d only been married since late January.

Last night Arwyn baked a cake using a box of lemon cake mix we had lying around and put chocolate frosting on it. She and the boys sang happy birthday and I blew out the candles. My mom called and I talked to the folks for several hours before turning in to bed. Since I’m working a little later to sweat off debt, last night worked out better for a celebration for the boys.

This morning, at Arwyn’s urging, I took the cake to work to let my ladies indulge. And they did, although I never said anything about it being my birthday. They never asked. But I’m slightly uncomfortable making such a huge deal about it. We had work that needed to be done without the distraction. Maybe I’ll tell them tomorrow.

I came home and found Arwyn and the boys just finishing up a pizza. For dinner, I was on my own. Again. Arwyn got me a sweatshirt and a T-shirt and a card. The card cover was filled with words like money, shopping, laundry, projects, cleaning, calls, errands, work, committment, relatives, trash, in-laws, etc with a line in the middle that said “Somewhere in the middle of it all…”

And then the inside read, “There’s a quiet place called love. (I’ll meet you there.) Happy Birthday, my husband, my love” And the Arwyn signed her name.

Sort of appropriate. I bet that there is not a counterpart card for women. My favorite SAHM blog is Katie Fleck’s. She has 5 kids, is a den mother for her son’s scout troop and a leader for her daughters’ brownie troop in addition to about 5 million other things revolving around her kids and running a house. She seems to be intelligent (giving me some steller suggestions and ideas for cheap Christmas presents) but seems to be out of her mind trying to do so many things all at the same time. In addition to blogging about it.

I’d be a lot more hostile towards her obsessive compulsive have-it-all lifestyle if she wasn’t so darn CUTE! But she moves and flits from project to project so quickly that my 42 year-old lazy ass would never catch her. It wears me out just reading her To Do list every week.

The point being that women are more prone to taking on an insane number of committments (usually interrupting the husband’s serious couch time and committing him in the process) while calling it “multi-tasking” and the husband gets left in the dust. In my case, digging in the fridge looking for food on his birthday. She didn’t have to work today and both boys were in school.

So, at least I can look forward to putting an end to this 57 day No-Sex streak, right?

Make that 58. And counting.

She came through in her sweat pants and T-shirt, I knew it was me and you good folks. I walk in the bedroom shortly after the lights are out and she is cocooned, inverted in her rug blanket. Asleep, more or less.

I’m not terribly surprised. This is the way it has been for…I dunno. For as long as I can remember. Last year she hand surgery on her hand two weeks before my birthday. That ruled out any sex.

Two years ago..THAT was priceless! I was actually locked up in the cage and had been for the week before my birthday. I was *really* looking forward to getting out. My birthday fell on a Friday. Friday came. We did the cake/card/present thing. And then we went to bed. She went to sleep without saying a word. My frustrated self did not sleep good at all. All she would have had to say was “Look, I’m tired. I still want to have fun with you sometime later so I’m going to keep you locked up.” I’d have been thrilled. I’m hard just thinking about that scenario.

But that’s not how it went down. No, the next day I asked her about whether or not she was teasing me. “Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot! I’ll let you out later tonight and we can have some time, then.” So, Saturday I was pretty fired up, and helping get those kids to bed early. She forgot again. By Sunday night, I was pretty pissed. She did unlock me that night and I got a handjob. It would be 2 months before I wore the cage again and it was the beginning of the end of Arwyn’s role as keyholder.

Any Ivillagers may remember that as I posted about it back then to tham. I got a couple of interesting offers from Texas and Arizona from women in CL relationships who read it with quite a lot of indignation.

I find tease and denial to be very stimulating, or at least the idea of it. All I ever seem to get is the denial.

Arwyn may very well have had intentions last night or tonight but she has never said. Or signaled There’s been no lingerie in 7 years, which would be a really nice signal. An enticing kiss would be nice. I didn’t even get my 2 minutes this morning.

How long, Lord?