Gentlemen, I’m in need of your assistance. A certain lady friend has sent me an email that should interest all of us, men and women alike. To wit:
When it comes to oral sex, so many women are afraid to give it because they hate it or think it is degrading. Yet, I hear more men say they ENJOY giving oral sex because they love it and would do it with nothing in return (of course this was not my experience). Do you think this is REALLY true OR do you think men say they would give oral sex to the woman with the strong inner hope she will return the favor and learn to love giving them blowjobs, yet in reality they secretly HATE giving oral sex to women just as much as women claim to hate giving it?
(I ask this question because it is becoming harder for me to believe men really want to please a woman orally. I am starting to believe most are insincere from the begnning… and don’t care that much about the woman… instead they care about doing what is necessary to get a blow job) Your thoughts?
Gentlemen, what say you? I invite everyone who has a blog to devote some space to this discussion. I think there are many women who may feel this way and would like some answers. How do you feel about giving women oral sex? Why do you do it? What do you like about it? Is there anything you don’t like about it? Are any of you opposed to doing it? Why do you think so many men don’t like it?
Okay, you have your mission. Should you decide to accept it, let me know. We will be doing some heavy linking, I am sure. And for some, hopefully some heavy licking!
Oral Sex on and for Women: Digger’s Take
I was relatively late discovering oral sex, compared to most. I think I was 27 dating the 36 year old. She LOVED giving head, and was so open and honest about loving my cock. That was such a confidence booster that I was inspired to give it a try. And I really liked it. But it would be the next woman who would ice my love for oral. When she orgasmed, it about brought the roof down or at least woke the neighbors. I absolutely loved that feeling of control, but then I like that whole control scene
I loved the taste, the texture and the smell. Perhaps I should spend some time on this, because many women who hate all things oral equate it with grossness, disgusting and stinkiness. Some women have a real problem with their own body image. A woman will almost always be more critical of her body than her man. And the nether regions especially. As men, I think we are especially tuned in to the scent of a woman’s arousal. Speaking only for myself, I find it intoxicating. Really and truly. Maybe that’s just me. And it could be.
There are few odors emmitted by my wife that will turn me off. I can’t think of any off the top of my head. Yes, you read correctly. Maybe a new kink, but this is not universal to everyone. I don’t like how everyone smells. But in Arwyn’s case, there are no bad smells. It’s part of my earthy nature, I suppose. To me, the good and the bad are intimate exchanges of a sort. Since oral has been out for years and Arwyn wears no perfumes, I’m a little deprived on that count. I love the smell of her hair.
Okay, I’m drifting.
I love the feel of a woman moving in response to my touches, grinding ever more into me. I can feel her muscles tighten and taste the increased wetness and knowing I am doing that to/for her is heavenly. My greatest pleasure is herr greatest pleasure.
Would I want nothing in return? That would not be the most uncomfortable of states, seeing how my arousal is brought to boiling by my partner’s pleasure. I would really, really want release with whatever assistance my partner would want to render. Remember, I am an intimacy hog. A glutton. I want to know and be known to ever deeper levels. I want and need that safe, soft spot.
While I’m at it, I’ll briefly discuss blow jobs. My memory is a bit fuzzy on this as it has been nearly a decade since my last one. But I believe I actually favored giving oral to receiving it. Actually, 69 was a favorite position of mine with me on the bottom. I never failed to climax from that position. But it took some work for me to actually get to like it. That older gal saw getting me off from just a blowjob as a personal challenge. Outside of the 69 postion descriped above, I don’t think she ever succeeded. The giving of pleasure was so intimately connected with my own pleasure I couldn’t do it. I might could today, having been conditioned to be a lousy lover.
Why don’t more men actually like doing it? Same factors as found with women, I suspect. A lot of selfishness, mainly. Or perhaps a fear of doing it badly. Criticism KILLS intimacy. So does lack of confidence. Lack of positive feedback might also contribute. If a woman just lays there and doesn’t offer positive feedback, it might kill the desire to do it. Don’t fake, but relax and give yourself over to it. Stop thinking about the laundry. Stop mentally taking meat out of the freezer or cleaning the litter box or planning what the kids are going to wear the next day. Give over control and float.
I would utterly love to tongue lash a bare/bald pussy. I shaved a couple of years ago, and Arwyn just laughed. She related how her and an old boyfriend had both shaved at the same time and she swore she wouldn’t do it ever again after getting razor burnt. That bothered me that she would do this for someone else but not the man she married. I think some of this sissy attitude is reflected by some men. They are too big of wussy’s to go down on their women.
My advice to these guys would be to quit the whining and get down between those thighs with exuberrant gusto!
One cure for the selfishness bit is enforced chastity. Tell him that his cock isn’t getting out until you get 40-50 orgasms. Just watch that
tongue get busy! I’m amazed at guys who are willing to get a blowjob but unwilling to reciprocate. Cunnilingus can be an enjoyable experience for its own sake apart from an eventual pay off. However, unless strictly enforce, a guy will really, really want relief afterwards, especially if he is into it. But the reward isn’t why I do it. I’m definitely not tonguing just to get a blow job. I’m doing it because I like doing it and I savor the response.
At least that was true at one time. Over the past decade, I suppose I might have changed. But I still fantasize sometimes about the forbidden zone that oral has become in the Jones household.