Gentlemen, I’m in need of your assistance. A certain lady friend has sent me an email that should interest all of us, men and women alike. To wit:

When it comes to oral sex, so many women are afraid to give it because they hate it or think it is degrading. Yet, I hear more men say they ENJOY giving oral sex because they love it and would do it with nothing in return (of course this was not my experience). Do you think this is REALLY true OR do you think men say they would give oral sex to the woman with the strong inner hope she will return the favor and learn to love giving them blowjobs, yet in reality they secretly HATE giving oral sex to women just as much as women claim to hate giving it?

(I ask this question because it is becoming harder for me to believe men really want to please a woman orally. I am starting to believe most are insincere from the begnning… and don’t care that much about the woman… instead they care about doing what is necessary to get a blow job) Your thoughts?

Gentlemen, what say you? I invite everyone who has a blog to devote some space to this discussion. I think there are many women who may feel this way and would like some answers. How do you feel about giving women oral sex? Why do you do it? What do you like about it? Is there anything you don’t like about it? Are any of you opposed to doing it? Why do you think so many men don’t like it?

Okay, you have your mission. Should you decide to accept it, let me know. We will be doing some heavy linking, I am sure. And for some, hopefully some heavy licking!


Oral Sex on and for Women: Digger’s Take

I was relatively late discovering oral sex, compared to most. I think I was 27 dating the 36 year old. She LOVED giving head, and was so open and honest about loving my cock. That was such a confidence booster that I was inspired to give it a try. And I really liked it. But it would be the next woman who would ice my love for oral. When she orgasmed, it about brought the roof down or at least woke the neighbors. I absolutely loved that feeling of control, but then I like that whole control scene

I loved the taste, the texture and the smell. Perhaps I should spend some time on this, because many women who hate all things oral equate it with grossness, disgusting and stinkiness. Some women have a real problem with their own body image. A woman will almost always be more critical of her body than her man. And the nether regions especially. As men, I think we are especially tuned in to the scent of a woman’s arousal. Speaking only for myself, I find it intoxicating. Really and truly. Maybe that’s just me. And it could be.

There are few odors emmitted by my wife that will turn me off. I can’t think of any off the top of my head. Yes, you read correctly. Maybe a new kink, but this is not universal to everyone. I don’t like how everyone smells. But in Arwyn’s case, there are no bad smells. It’s part of my earthy nature, I suppose. To me, the good and the bad are intimate exchanges of a sort. Since oral has been out for years and Arwyn wears no perfumes, I’m a little deprived on that count. I love the smell of her hair.

Okay, I’m drifting.

I love the feel of a woman moving in response to my touches, grinding ever more into me. I can feel her muscles tighten and taste the increased wetness and knowing I am doing that to/for her is heavenly. My greatest pleasure is herr greatest pleasure.

Would I want nothing in return? That would not be the most uncomfortable of states, seeing how my arousal is brought to boiling by my partner’s pleasure. I would really, really want release with whatever assistance my partner would want to render. Remember, I am an intimacy hog. A glutton. I want to know and be known to ever deeper levels. I want and need that safe, soft spot.

While I’m at it, I’ll briefly discuss blow jobs. My memory is a bit fuzzy on this as it has been nearly a decade since my last one. But I believe I actually favored giving oral to receiving it. Actually, 69 was a favorite position of mine with me on the bottom. I never failed to climax from that position. But it took some work for me to actually get to like it. That older gal saw getting me off from just a blowjob as a personal challenge. Outside of the 69 postion descriped above, I don’t think she ever succeeded. The giving of pleasure was so intimately connected with my own pleasure I couldn’t do it. I might could today, having been conditioned to be a lousy lover.

Why don’t more men actually like doing it? Same factors as found with women, I suspect. A lot of selfishness, mainly. Or perhaps a fear of doing it badly. Criticism KILLS intimacy. So does lack of confidence. Lack of positive feedback might also contribute. If a woman just lays there and doesn’t offer positive feedback, it might kill the desire to do it. Don’t fake, but relax and give yourself over to it. Stop thinking about the laundry. Stop mentally taking meat out of the freezer or cleaning the litter box or planning what the kids are going to wear the next day. Give over control and float.

I would utterly love to tongue lash a bare/bald pussy. I shaved a couple of years ago, and Arwyn just laughed. She related how her and an old boyfriend had both shaved at the same time and she swore she wouldn’t do it ever again after getting razor burnt. That bothered me that she would do this for someone else but not the man she married. I think some of this sissy attitude is reflected by some men. They are too big of wussy’s to go down on their women.

My advice to these guys would be to quit the whining and get down between those thighs with exuberrant gusto!

One cure for the selfishness bit is enforced chastity. Tell him that his cock isn’t getting out until you get 40-50 orgasms. Just watch that

tongue get busy! I’m amazed at guys who are willing to get a blowjob but unwilling to reciprocate. Cunnilingus can be an enjoyable experience for its own sake apart from an eventual pay off. However, unless strictly enforce, a guy will really, really want relief afterwards, especially if he is into it. But the reward isn’t why I do it. I’m definitely not tonguing just to get a blow job. I’m doing it because I like doing it and I savor the response.

At least that was true at one time. Over the past decade, I suppose I might have changed. But I still fantasize sometimes about the forbidden zone that oral has become in the Jones household.


16 Responses to CALLING ALL MEN

  1. Rob says:

    I don’t have a blog of my own (for my own reasons) and so I will comment here in Digger’s blog, a tad more briefly than he has, on why I too love oral sex, more specifically the giving rather than the receiving. First a bit of history: when we first married (both in our very early 20’s), my wife and I both were not very skilled lovers in sexual techniques. In fact, like many young guys, I suffered from premature ejaculation (wham, bam, thank you ma’am – lol), which was not making my wife a happy camper. So what to do? Well, after many many various ineffectual tries (yes, we DID like to – ahemmm – “practice” a lot), I gradually learnt the one way that I could almost guarantee that my wife would orgasm when we made love. That was lots of imaginative foreplay, and – giving her oral sex.

    Over the years this has been our main way of love making. I improved in how I’ve performed and she grew more comfortable and relaxed in easily and more quickly reaching her climax. Here familiarity helped a lot.

    As to whether I enjoyed being on the receiving end, well only a few times. She was never really very good at it, being a very LL person (compared to HL me) and I much preferred being in control of the pacing. She received pleasure, followed then by me taking her to quickly reach mine, before I then would cave in (hormones all gone – lol) and finally get some zzzzz’s. The reverse order of activity would not work, as you may well imagine. As you know, quite often after a guy cums… – well “that’s all she wrote” 🙂

    So yes, I am one guy who thoroughly enjoys giving oral sex to a woman and not caring at all whether I get a b/j or not. Sadly those days are now past history, for reasons that I won’t discuss here.

  2. C-Marie says:

    THIS will be my weekend project! Weather is going to be crappy, any plans I thought I’d make are now squashed. So my time now can be devoted on this lovely but very delicate subject!!

  3. I’d love to write about this on mny blog but won’t. As I’ve said before sex talk is not alowed in my house hold when my wife is present. The blog is a place my wife is actually likeing to go to so there goes that. I will post some of my views here though.
    I LOVE to lick my wifes pussy. I love every thing about licking her. The taste, the smell, the sight, the feel, everything. I love it the most when she grabs my head and burries my head in her pussy. I must admit though that I am not a fan of the hairy bush. It don’t need to be bald but at least kept clean. It is the best when she squirts although that is VERY rare.
    As far as receiving well I’m a guy so of course I like that too. I never have been able to do the big finish from receiving though. I don’t even need to get oral in return for giving. I usually get so horny from giving that I just go right into intercourse. The only downside from my perspective to doing oral is that we both climax way to fast after a long oral session.
    Abnd don’t be afraid of licking lower than the genitals. When fresh from the shower WOW! that is sending me to another world.

  4. virgin says:

    I wonder if this is a church-related thing. I’ve mentioned on my own site how unbelievably messed up (sexually spaeking) the church leaves us. I’ve gone out with a few Christian guys. None have never ever tried, ever discussed, ever mentioned giving or receiving. I’ve also gone out with non-Christians. In the past decade none of them has refrained from trying to give oral and only one has ever tried to get any in return.

    That’s my two cents, however warped it may be.

  5. ~ anne says:

    you should have ‘called all women’ as well as the men. i am sure the responses would have been very informative and interesting!


  6. Digger Jones says:

    Thank you Rob, Confused, Virgin and C-Marie for your input!

    Yes, Anne, women are free to write as they will but I needed to prod the guys a bit for the female reader’s sake.

    I’m anxious to everyone’s take on the subject.


  7. figleaf says:

    Thanks for bringing this up, Digger. I’m pretty sure I’ve already blogged about how much I enjoy eating someone. I won’t say I’d do it if she actively didn’t enjoy it, but short of that she’s usually going to be ready to move on to something else before I am.

    Evidently a lot of people eat their partners only to reciprocate or in anticipation of reciprocation. I know a number of women who approach fellatio with that attitude and I’m sure a lot of men do the same for cunnilingus. If I’m able to eat someone till she comes at least once I can go to bed, or go to work if it’s morning, feeling like I’ve had complete sex whether or not we do anything else. It’s pretty rewarding in its own right.

    Thanks again,


  8. I think too many partners give only hoping/expecting to recieve, in all things, not jut oral. Worse, they dole out carefully, he gave a bit, so I’ll give a bit … Just give and give, it imporves it on all sides.

    I think more men would give oral if they understood how much they would reap in benifits. And, as Rob said, oral, or manual stimulation and more tame foreplay, helps make sure the woman orgasms… over and over. On the other side is the possibility of no orgasms, which is going to mean less and less sex opps, not more.

  9. aphron says:

    I love both. Wife rarely lets me give, although I love to do it. Lately, she doesn’t give. Personally, it is better to give than receive.

  10. FTN says:

    With two or three blogs discussing this now, I can’t remember where I’ve commented already. My quick summation: Wife doesn’t like receiving manual or oral — if I touch her down there, she twitches. I’d be more than happy to if given the opportunity. Sex itself is generally good for both of us though. Strange, huh? TMI from me…

  11. NotSoNormal says:

    Good question…I’ll have to comment on my blog about this, although I sort of already have.

    I’ve heard of, but cannot understand, a man not wanting to give oral, and even more mystified by not wanting to receive.

  12. ed says:

    OK, a bit late to the party, but I’ve added my 2p worth at our place.

  13. ReddyMan says:

    I woulld give oral sex until my tounge fell out, if my wife could take it that long. I LOVE it, and do it only because I love and do not expect reciprocal oral (but it is nice).

  14. D says:

    Female perspective here: My hubs loves to give oral and says my turned on pussy is his favorite scent. When he’s had a bad day, I always offer him a little aromatherapy to make him feel better. 😉 I love it that he loves oral. He’s quite talented. I also love to give him oral. Yes, I swallow, too. Nothing’s better than to take him by suprise, when I can make sure the kids won’t interrupt. It never fails to get him off. We are a very lucky couple and I can only imagine our sex lives getting better when the kids move out of the house.

  15. Michael says:

    Great topic. I’m still trying to get my own blog up and running (spend too much time reading others) but when I do I’ll have to expound more. Anyway, another guy’s perspective; getting is usually nice, but I love to give. Why? I just love to see my wife cum. Actually fingers are better because I can get a better view, but she much prefers the tongue. She is a bit of a clean freak so she won’t let me go down unless she’s recently showered. Consequently I don’t get to experience the aroma (which is ashame, it’s all part of the experiance), but the upside of cleanliness is that she keeps the lawn mowed. Not bare, but neatly trimmed.

  16. From a womans perspective if men expect to get they should be expected to give.

    If there are hangups about performing intimate acts with your partner then there’s probably more going on with their entire sexual well being. Good sexual health is all about honesty, openess and the desire to please your lover.

    As Rob stated if you are an early cummer then you really need to work on that tongue of yours. There are alot of women who have a hard time cumming with penetration only and that tongue of yours can do wonders during foreplay.

    I don’t know if the men understand that orgasm from the outside is much different than cumming from intercourse. They both take different types of concentration but certainly for me oral has more successes than failures.

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