This is about as close as I’ll get to an HNT post! Like Dewdrop, it’s not really my thing although posting a half naked picture might be easier than this now that I think about it. Brace yourself for the good, the bad and the ugly.
1.) I got married in 1996
2.) I got my Master’s degree the same year
3.) I got my B.S. from Iowa State in 1987
4.) I was still a virgin when I graduated from college.
5.) I paid for much of my undergrad through being in the Army Reserves
6.) My MOS was 51 Kilo – combat engineer/plumber
7.) I turned down a medic job for a military career in plumbing
8.) I was an honor graduate in my military class’s plumbing school.
9.) I almost didn’t graduate basic training because I couldn’t do enough push-ups on the PT test.
10.) I once got drunked up and told my squad leader to “Fuck off!”
11.) I remained a PFC for the next 2 years.
12.) I got several letters of commendation from my company commander plus the USAR Acheivement medal.
13.) My career as an officer was cut short by poor peer reviews in ROTC.
14.) I really liked the military despite my poor attitude and performance.
15.) I recieved an honorable discharge in 1990.
16.) After 9/11 I wanted to rejoin. I was too old 😦
17.) I never had a date in high school.
18.) The first girl I ever dated was 16
19.) I was 22
20.) When I took her to her prom, I had been substitute teaching at her school for 6 months.
21.) I spent a lot of time at her parents’ house having dinner there at least once a week.
22.) She never met my parents. Over the 3+ years we dated
23.) I was voted “Most active” in my high school senior class.
24.) I was also voted “Guy with the funniest shoes.”
25.) My high school graduating class had 56 seniors.
26.) I spent 6 months on a work exchange in Germany in 1982.
27.) I was chased by East German police trying to get to the checkpoint before midnight.
28.) I smuggled contraband across the Iron Curtain.
29.) I had 20 East German Marks in my sock when I crossed Checkpoint Charlie.
30.) Jesus came to me in a dream while I was in Rome, Italy.
31.) I stayed with an American missionary couple in Cologne, Germany.
32.) I learned to speak in tongues while there.
33.) The couple I was staying with told me to spend a few hours on my own so they could have some sex.
34.) I preached on the street in Times Square in NYC when I got back to the States.
35.) I spent a year on probation for stealing signs and smashing mailboxes.
36.) We were caught because one of my accomplices made a drunken booty call at midnight.
37.) She turned us in.
38.) He was married with a baby less than a year old.
39.) I met my first love a week before my 25th birthday.
40.) She looked just like Tajalude
41.) We never made love, but we did get naked together.
42.) I wish I’d nailed her when I had the chance.
43.) She broke up with me a week after I met her parents for the first time.44.) The first time I had sex was a year later with a girl with long, red hair.
45.) I was getting back at the girl in #39-43
46.) We saw each other for 2 months.I came inside this girl exactly one time. The condom was still in my pants pocket.
47.) She got pregnant and got an abortion.
48.) She didn’t tell me until it was all over.
49.) I think much of my present suffering is because of #47.
50.) She said she had sex with me because she thought it would make me care more for her.
51.) It almost worked.
52.) I was 26 when I had sex with a 17 year-old.
53.) I was 27 when I had sex with a 36 year-old.
54.) The older woman was way better.
55.) I never dated or had sex with a woman younger than me again after that.
56.) Without my glasses, I am legally blind.
57.) I consider myself an evangelical Christian
58.) I smoke 2-3 packs of Marlboro Lights a week.
59.) I started right after #43.
60.) The longest I’ve quit was 6 weeks earlier this year.
61.) I decided one form of abstinence was enough and started again.
62.) I met my wife in a church singles group.
63.) I don’t really remember the first time we met.
64.) She asked me out the first time we went out.
65.) She was dating another guy at the time.
66.) He called once while we were fucking.
67.) We had sex every single day, morning, night and sometimes more for 3 solid months.
68.) Once we moved in together, we were down to barely once or twice a week.
69.) The last time I 69’d was in January 1995.
70.) The last time I saw my wife wear lingerie was our first anniversary 1997.
79.) The last time I had a blowjob was 1995 during #69.
80.) My oldest son has a form of autism (PDD-NOS).
81.) I was the one that diagnosed him at 19 months old.
82.) I like to grow fruits and vegetables.
83.) I have considered suicide as a way out of my pain.
84.) My kink is wearing a chastity cage.
85.) My fantasy is to dominate a woman while my cock is locked up.
86.) I find myself strongly attracted to women of color.
87.) I am a sadistic submissive…or a dominiant masochist.
88.) The first time I ever kissed anyone on New Year’s Eve was with the woman in #53.
89.) I sometimes find prayer to be an irksome exercise.
90.) In 1996 I voted for Ross Perot.
91.) I’ve never had or done anal sex.
92.) I bite my nails.
93.) All my pens have bite marks. I’m VERY oral.
94.) The last time a woman allowed me to give her oral sex was my wedding night.
95.) My mom taught me how to play chess when I was five.
96.) I’d rather be a cheapskate than a spendthrift.
97.) I enjoy teaching adult Sunday school.
98.) I have not cheated on my wife even though she acts like she wants me to.
99.) I started blogging after I heard about how bloggers had exposed Dan Rather’s story as a fake.
100.) The first good blog I ever read was A Taste of the Good Wife.
Man, I hope I’m not letting too much out! Hope you enjoy because I’m already working on posts that will bury this into the safe obscurity of the archives.