On Unsolicited Advice I breifly give coverage of a show that is being filmed in towns around the country, where wishes were granted.
To answer my own question, I decided that I would wish for a 3 or 4 night cruise with Arwyn, sans children. Preferably a cruise put on by Dr. Phil…or the Sex Dectives. We have not had a kid-free overnight for the past 7 years, since having children. And you all are witnesses to the ensuing disintegration of our marriage. A year or so ago we did attend a little marriage-type seminar put on by our church. It was very, very light in content consisting mostly of a game show format.
One exercise involved recalling a memorable time we had together. I can’t even remember what ours was. I think it was when we went back to Iowa for Christmas a couple years ago, and the boys had a chance to meet their cousins for the first time. Other couples also mentioned trips, and always it was some memory of getting away without the kids. We have no experiences like that, so no memories.
Another exercise at that church seminar was to share a time or something that we admired about our spouse. Most couples mentioned something about being a good father or mother. One guy did say that his wife was good in bed! I said that Arwyn had a gentle and giving spirit, which is generally true. I also mentioned that she was a budding amatuer photographer.
Arwyns contribution? That afternoon, hours before going to this thing, I had bought and assembled materials for a compost bin. And that was what she said. That I built a compost bin. A compost bin was built by me. That was what she most admired about me. That I hammered together a container for rotting garbage. Probably with some thought of me winding up there eventually. Actually, she probably was surprised that I might be able to use power and hand tools to make something even as simple as that.
Still, it would have been nice if she put just a bit more thought into it. She could have said something to the effect that when it comes to the food she puts into her mouth, I have everything to do with it, and she has little. I either buy it or I grow it. Then I process it, where processing is needed in the way of cleaning, freezing, picking or shelling. Then I actually cook it. Those of you who actually do this on a daily basis know that this is a challenge simply because it is done on a daily basis. Within hours of the last meal you have to go through the process again. But not everyone has the ability (or desire) to grow their own stuff. The compost bin was just a small part of the entire process that would be readily apparent to someone willing to reach back in their memories more than a couple of hours.
Incidently, the compost bin wasn’t really even a compost bin. I decided to make another raised bed, using one end for compost while putting the other half in production.
In anycase, we are in sore need of a good memory, which means a good experience together is what I would wish for.