Making a Wish

09/26/2005

Monday

The “Redemption” theme of this blog has gotten precious little airplay, compared to the “Reality” part of it. Perhaps that may change.

I did it. I submitted my wish, along with several hundred other people. You can also submit a wish online, which I also did. But I also delivered it in person.

The first phase of this operation was actually picking and writing my wish out. That alone is a worthy exercise, which I highly recommend. The folks at Three Wishes (or 3W) are looking for wishes that are heaertfelt. They also exclude homes and home rennovations since this television concept is already getting plenty of airplay. You only get one, and selection is based upon the worthiness of the potential recipiant as well as the wish itself. You can submit one for yourself, a loved one/friend/relative or an entire community.

Jaunt over to Unlicited Advice and follow the link and submit yours. Or leave one in the comment section. Or both.

There was a light sprinkle as the line meandered through the center of town. I was a bit nervous about this, but gamely joined the line of hopeful wishers. Upon entering the line a group of associate producers were handing out clipboards with the release form and a form to write the wish on. Upon close inspection of the release, I was even more nervous. The word “exploitation” kept popping up. As in everything NBC got on you, or could obtain about you in the process of investigating and filming became their property to be used for their exploitation for as long as tbey wanted in whatever way they saw fit. They could exploit your name, your likeness, your story and about anything else for whatever purpose. That is a bit scary.

But I still signed. Even people coming just for tickets to the concert had to sign, and the back of the tickets had the same ominous waiver of all rights included. They were going to be filming the concert, as well, apparently. One exploitation deserves another, I suppose. So I’ll just exploit this experience for my and your entertainment.

I folded my wish and the release and put it in the envelope and waited in the long line. The film crews wasted no time in beginning their exploitation as they wheeled the boom camera around filming the long line.

The line moved slowly toward a group of tents where they were filming people and their wishes. As we got closer, excitment picked up a bit as Amy Grant herself came out and interviewed some people herself. She was dressed casually in some designer blue jeans and a top similar to one Tajalude had mentioned in one of her posts awhile back. Maybe they have a psychic connection. In anycase, Ms. Amy is a very fine looking 44 year-old. Surrounded by the lights and cameras, she was definitely the center of attention. She appeared very relaxed, talking to the folks from around town. Twenty years after recording Age to Age, she is still as stunning as she ever was.

Our line crept to the row of tents, and after over two hours I was almost there. A crew member had our line wheel around and drew a crowd around the main tent so they could get a crowd/mob shot. The result was that we lost our place in line. The lady behind me about lost it. She found another staff member and complained.

For my part, I had mixed feelings at the prospect of being interviewed on camera. While being around the filming was exciting, I was not up for the bright lights. It got alot more real as were close enough that we could see and hear the director in the tent, loudly giving instructions to everyone.

“PLACES! EVERYONE STANDBYE! SETTLE! ROLL!”

I should’ve brought my own camera.

I couldn’t do it. There was no way I was going to stand in front of a potential national audience and proclaim my marriage a train wreck in need of help the likes of that FEMA has yet to see. So I handed my envelope to a crew member and walked away. Other folks were doing likewise, but those I had shared the line with gave me a disappointed “Awww! You’re so close!”

True. But it says right on the release form that those who are not interviewed will not necessarily be excluded from having their wish granted. Truth be known, the three wishes that will be televised were selected before the crew hit town. They apparently intend on granting more than just those three, though. Or at least that’s what the press release said.

It was a memorable experience, all around and I did get 4 tickets to the concert. It’s on a school night so it’s not known if we’ll be able to go. The boys may not be up for a long night of loudness, even if it is Amy Grant. I’d like to go, but it would be counter productive to my wish to not have the family there with me, in the unlikely event they picked mine.

When I got home, Arwen asked me what my wish was. I had an extra copy printed out and gave it to her to read. She started reading it and then took it to the other room so that she could cry. I guess I hit the “heartfelt” part, at least where she is concerned. I’ll tack on an edited version below.

While it is comparatively easy with you all, me being pseudo-anonymous and all, doing it on-camera was a frightening reality that I was not quite ready to face, especially considering the odds were not in my favor to even have the wish granted. Still, the process was instructive. While in line, I saw folks pushing wheelchairs, and others bringing their young children and I knew that there were a lot of well deserved wishes out there. Even with the rich promise of exploitation, NBC couldn’t possibly grant them all. I admire the efforts of Amy Grant and the producers of the show to attempt to make a difference in communities around the country.

D.

The Letter:

Dear Three Wishes,

My main wish is to have a better and more intimate relationship with my wife, Arwyn. That’s a tall order, even for Hollywood. My wife and I have been married for 9 years, with our 10th anniversary coming up in August of 2006. We have two children. Thomas, age 6 and Elmo, age 3. Thomas has an autism spectrum disorder, but he is doing extremely well. Elmo has not been diagnosed with any disorders but has shown signs of delays.

I would not characterize or marriage as very strong, but we are both strong people and are both good Christians. But we seem to struggle with each other. The stress of raising the boys, one who has special needs, has strained both of us and we have no family close by for help or support. We are both a bit on the proud side which makes even a letter like this one difficult. We are not good at asking for help.

Arwyn stays home with the boys and I work with children who have severe physical, emotional and mental disabilities. We are far from rich but we have been able to get by. But just getting by does not afford us any extras.

We have not done counseling mainly because of cost and we haven’t found anyone to watch the boys. We have not had a weekend away without kids since Thomas was born, almost 7 years ago. And we are struggling to keep our family intact.

I am not going to go into all the details of exactly how we are struggling here, but our marriage is a ship foundering at sea, and heading for the reef. I love my children and I want to realize the deep, intimate relationship with my wife that I dreamed of 9 years ago. I’ve tried everything I know how to do, and even many things I don’t know how to do in order to turn things around. It hurts me to think that this may be our last ditch effort. I am sending up the proverbial flare and sending out an S.O.S.

Can you help us?

We thought going on a cruise would be helpful (hence the nautical hyperbole) but we really need more than just a vacation. We need real and substantial help. If Dr. Phil was available, maybe he could join us on a voyage. Or we could join him.

If I had one wish, it would be that I would never have had to make this one. But since I do, this is as close as I can get to my heart’s desire.

All my prayers,

Digger Jones

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9 Responses to Making a Wish

  1. Dewdrop says:

    What did Arwyn say to you after reading the letter about the wish? Did she say anything at all I wonder. Digger, I sincerely hope your wish is granted.

  2. FTN says:

    Have you ever heard of Retrovaille? (Pronounced retro-vi, long i.) I have some friends that swear by it, they say it really saved their marriage. Finding someone to watch the kids for a weekend could be difficult, but if this is as much of a lifesaver as people say it is, it might be worth a try.

    http://www.retrouvaille.org/

  3. C-Marie says:

    Yes, I am also interested in knowing what Arwyn thought of this.

    Best of Luck and hoping your wish is granted as well!

  4. Tajalude says:

    That was my only question… What did she say, if anything???

  5. Square1 says:

    Yes Digger, did Arwyn bother to share her thoughts? She cried… at least there was a response of some kind in that.

  6. C-Marie says:

    Three WIshes is coming to my town!
    WOW… how weird is that because I only first heard about it here in your post? Do I dare send an email??

  7. amber says:

    i still wonder how a tv show is going to wave as magic wand and ‘fix’ years and years of problems in your marriage… the problems didn’t happen over night, so how are they going to be fixed overnight?… and wouldn’t it need to be her wish too? was this what she wanted you to write to them and ask for….

    maybe if you all are asking tv shows for help, you should just do wife swap and maybe she’ll appreciate what she has and not be so resentful and angry… and I still wonder about what she is teaching your kids to think about you… and how she apparently uses them to get back at you and punish you…

  8. morgen z says:

    oh, digger, that brought tears to my eyes….very touching and beautiful.

    hmm, you and I have similar jobs.

    mz

  9. Digger Jones says:

    We did talk a bit more on it this evening. She said it’s not exactly what she would have wished for, and the idea of airing our dirty laundry for TV cameras horrifies her.

    She didn’t say anything at the time, no, and I didn’t push. Seeing as I got a reaction at all was sufficient for the time.

    No calls today, so my guess is that my wish wasn’t one of the ones picked. The Retrovaille idea sounds like a good possibility and one I should have asked for specifically, maybe.

    D.

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