Another One Bites the Dust
Trying to keep an inact and interesting blogroll is almost as much of a job as creating a daily entry. Mine is like a bugzapper, where they get on for awhile and then ZAP! My one consolation is that plenty of others share my burden. Of course I had zapped my own blog once, so I’ve been as much a perpetrator as a victim.
Jay All the Time is the latest casualty. More is the pity, since I was really, really looking forward to a review of his Retrouville experience. I would have gleened some terribly useful insight from who I consider a reliable source. Apparently the only resolution arrived over the weekend was she wanted him to take down his blog. He at least graced his audience with a fond farewell. I’m hoping we’ll see him back in some way and form.
In Jay’s former blog, Jay Loves Kitti, readers got a chance to have an upfront, close and personal look at a marriage cascading towards crisis. In so many ways, I could identify with them as Kitti’s POV seemed to match Arwyn’s all over. The fact that Kitti, herself, wrote the things she did made the old blog a gripping read for me as well as a lot of other people. While many of the things Jay has written may seem hurtful to Kitti, it was her own entries that turned the readership against her. While Jay was constantly trying to put a positive spin on things (sometimes to annoying distraction), Kitti often absolutely pounded and gutted him with some of the things she wrote. She wrote well, and she wrote uber honestly. I so admired Jay’s determination and grit in persevering with this woman who has seemingly completely given up on her marriage. She put at least one personal ad up on a site for cheaters, which caused quite a shitstorm over there. Jay, while very hurt by that, has hung on for dear life. If the Retrouville bit fails, I fear this will be the swan song for more than Jay’s blog. In fact, him taking down the blog at her request is a measure of his devotion and reflects a pretty consistent pattern for them. She makes a request/demand, he does it in good faith. She, however to my knowledge, never promised to honor his request for her to not cheat. She never admits she is wrong. She has refused to take responsibility for her part in the marriage meltdown. She has done very little to maintain, much less improve it. He has read Relationship Rescue and as far as I can tell, she has not touched it. He has been going to counseling, but she has refused saying she’s not the one with the problem. He registered them for Retrouville, and I think he was fortunate that she even went. If she follows through with whatever exercises, I’d consider it miraculous. I hope, for him and their two small children’s sakes that this happens.
There are many parallels betwixt Jay’s story and my own and for that reason he will be sorely missed. I derrived a lot of inspiration from his story and his struggle. It was difficult to read at times, but very instructive. Both he and Kitti were first rate writers.
Last I checked, Jay had disabled his comments on his blog. So, I’ll say it here, hoping he finds it: Good luck, Jay. You’ll be missed and hope to see you ’round sometime. Good luck to Kitti, too. Hopefully this search of hers will end up where she needs to be.
Keep the faith, Jay.