Cubed is providing some much needed levity to the blogging world. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to engage in some healthy repartee with someone who is willing to react to a good old fashioned tail twisting.

Just because I offered him a little smooch for his trouble, he suddenly thinks I’m making romantic overtures.

Hope Square1 doesn’t get jealous.

No I’m not out to steal anyone’s man, much less someone who apparently shares a more severe form of my own psychopathology. It just wouldn’t last. It might be fun for awhile, tho.

I really don’t have any homosexual leanings. Okay, not many. I’m hideously secure in my own sexuality. Secure enough that I’ll go ahead and proposition my homophobic bretheren for the sheer joy of watching the blood rush into their razor-burned faces once their eyes return to their sockets. After flinging the label of homosexual, gay, faggot, fairy or some other label at me, they proceed to invoke the old “Some of my best friends are queers.” It’s the same way the uptight and white react to the accusation of being a racist. They always protest by pointing out how many minorities they socialize with on a regular basis. Which is why my black friends enjoy playing the race card, just to watch Whitey squirm and get all defensive. It’s hilarious. I’ve had friends try that on me, and my response turns it flat back on them. The Lioness actually tried that play.

Her: “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?”

Me: “Well as a matter of fact it is. It’s because you are black. I’m a racist. Malcom X said it best ‘A white man can not, not be racist.’ I try, but there’s no way I can’t not be white.”

After she recovered, she just laughed because she knows better. She knows I think she’s cute. Dumb, whiny and impulsive but cute as hell. She can’t help but be annoyingly cute.

While homosexuality is an abomination to God, so is a lot of other things people do every day. I’m far from being pure as the driven snow, so I’m not the guy to be throwing stones. I’m not going to do it, but with a sharp blow to the head I might contemplate it. I flirt mentally with adultry which was also a capital offense in Moses’ day. Homosexuality, adultry, beastiality, fornication. All wrong on some level but we do it anyway. And I’m sure there are those that would debate which or whether certain things are right or wrong. I’m just going by the Bible, not personal belief of preference. I’ve done some of those things. I’ve done some things that almost anyone would call bad.

I’m just saying that I’m having a bit of fun at a homophobe’s expense. I suppose someone could call me one, too. I might have homophobic tendencies. I might have homosexual tendencies. I do know that I’ve never been propositioned by a gay guy, as far as I know. I think I’d feel flattered. Not necessarily attracted but gays supposedly have good taste, right? I feel kinda bad that I’m not up to their standards. Or else my heterosexuality is too obvious so they don’t waste their time.

Beats me and it’s silly worrying about it unless I plan on expanding the menu, so to speak. Switch hitting does hold some appeal just from a practical standpoint.

Today I had a rare opportunity to listen to 3 of my female coworkers discuss sex. The Lioness in her 20’s, Patience in her 30’s and … The Queen in her late 40’s. Patience didn’t contribute much as is her custom to keep herself guarded. But Lioness (L) and Queen(Q) had an interesting exchange:

Q: When you get to a certain age, sex doesn’t become as much of an issue.

L: What? You kidding? Any man I have better watch out because I gotta have it every night!

Q: You’ll understand when you get older, dear. You just get other priorities.

L:Really? I hope not! I just can’t imagine!

Q: Sometimes I just want the hugging and cuddling, but men just don’t get that. They can’t do that; they just don’t get it.

I interjected that for most men, sex really is a primary outlet for their deep emotions and vulnerability. If they are feeling happy or deep sadness, sex is often what they reach for.

L: I’m like that. I don’t always like all the cuddling, when I’m upset, I just want the juice!

Q: The what?

L: The juice! You know. I just want that man to be poppin’ me off and not always have to be messing with that lovey dovey stuff. When I get married, that man better be ready because I want him to PUT OUT!

Q: I guess I’m just more of a romantic.

Patience: I think I’m more like Queen that way. I like some romance.

It was just interesting. It was after hours and we were just sitting around and that conversation just sort of rolled in. I just enjoyed listening most times. Women can get pretty graphic about stuff sometimes when they get together. At this point no one was sharing personal experiences and I left before it got that far. Mainly I didn’t want to share MY experiences, such as they are. But there does appear to be a sort of generational shift in sexual attitudes. Younger women (in their 20’s) seem to be much more assertive today than 10 and 20 years ago. You think? Or maybe *I’m* just getting old which explains the lack of interest from the young gay community.


4 Responses to Homophobic?

  1. 1Cubed says:

    I’m apologize?

    Why was name in there?

    The entire article has nothing to with me, and only mentions my name in a vague reference to homophobia… then goes waaaaaaaaaay out into “left” field…

    LOL! FYI: I only mentioned the gay thing because YOU mentioned you were getting happy at my expense…

    You must really have it bad at home to be thinking about playing with another sailors mast…

    You need some more semen on you poop deck sweetie?


  2. Digger Jones says:

    I was just giving you a neighborly link there, Cubed!

    Easy, there.

    The vanity train left hours ago.

    You can devote your own blog to humping my leg if you want, but I’m moving on.


  3. Anonymous says:

    While homosexuality is an abomination to God”????

    Jeez. get a clue.

    You must think they have a choice. Consider flipping it around and try to imagine forcing yourself to give up women since it was “counter-God”.


  4. Digger Jones says:

    Dear Idiot,

    Thank you for your thoughtful response. Next time try reading the entire entry instead of just the parts you want to get off on.

    ” All wrong on some level but we do it anyway. And I’m sure there are those that would debate which or whether certain things are right or wrong. I’m just going by the Bible, not personal belief of preference.”


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