Attitude Adjustment

08/17/2005

Wednesday

Day 5

It’s amazing the difference the smallest adjustment in attitude makes. Yesterday, I began to opine about how Arwyn refuses to participate in the chastity bit. But by contemplating it through my writing, it occurred to me that there was no plausible way for her to escape at least partial participation. Her mere presence represents a sort of participation as there is always a certain potential there that wouldn’t be if either of us kicked the other to the curb. I could still give in to the urge to serve her that the cage tends to elicit.

This is one key to making this work that I have grossly neglected. Mainly, allowing my will be bent by the influence of enforced chastity. It is possible for a person to fight that influence, at least for a time. I think I’ve spent the last 4 days doing just that, to a lesser extent. This is one of many situations where fighting means you are only fighting yourself. When I fight against myself, I lose. But only 100% of the time.

With the above in mind, I woke up at 5:40 with solid mahogany early morning wood. Arwyn was getting up and getting ready for her shower. I sat right up, and my cock was throbbing.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. I didn’t really answer except to come over to her, give her a good morning kiss and a hug…with my protruding cage-encased cock poking her. She returned the hug and went about getting ready for her shower. I was still looking silly with a giant tent sticking out under my boxers as I went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Today’s breakfast consisted of grits. Nothing terribly fancy, but still amounted to cooking which Arwyn rarely does. The water was just starting to boil when Arwyn walked into the kitchen wrapped in her towel.

“What’s burning?” She gave me another hug and a kiss upon discovering the grits and padded back to the shower. There was probably some leftover somethingorother on the burner, producing an odor she detected. Or maybe she was just nosy. But her coming in to the kitchen offered me the chance to ask if the dishes in the dishwasher were clean. So I had a chance to empty that. Plus put some laundry away. I can derive pleasure from these things because I can give in to the influence of being in chastity. I’m able to derive pleasure simply from her happiness and approval. This mindset is so foreign to most people that it does look incredibly strange and weird.

On Unsolicited Advice, I seemingly advocate a sort of horse trading of needs and favors between spouses. The reason for that line of thinking is to accommodate the selfishness of each individual. With that line of thinking, negotiation and bargaining (in good faith) make perfect sense. Everyone gets something, even if it’s not exactly what they want.

But chastity seemingly defies the gravitational pull of this selfishness. Make no mistake; I’m still getting something. The trick is to want what I’m getting instead of wishing for something I may or may not get. Arwyn still plays a role and participates simply by accepting what I’m giving. So in a way, this does fit in with the trading and exchange paradigm, but I’ve had to shift my desires on to a different plane. I can not do that if I stay glued to the mindset of claiming sex-on-demand as a right. If I’m masturbating whenever I want, I’m going to be continually tethered to that mode of thinking. Chastity elevates me out of it, even though (or because) it is enforced by a locked cage.

Time to get dinner cooking!

D.

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One Response to Attitude Adjustment

  1. ~ anne says:

    digger,

    i went away for a couple of days and you have written a book about chastity! and here i thought i needed to do some research.

    i think many of my initial questions have been somewhat answered.

    this is all very interesting to me and reading your day to day experiences and struggles going through this self imposed caging is enlightening.

    ~anne

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