Got Chastity? – What’s the Draw? Pt. 1

08/13/2005

Saturday

Day 1

Last night wasn’t too bad, but I did stay up until midnight watching a movie on TV. Then I was up again at 2, 3:30, 5 and 6:30. This is a typical pattern of being awakened by early morning wood and a consequence of building testosterone. It’s also a consequence of not being sufficiently broke in. I still fall back to asleep rather quickly. Either way, I end up getting to bed at a more decent hour after a night or two of that.

Anne wrote that she wasn’t sure of the attraction to this kink, especially since Arwyn wasn’t an active participant. She joins a rather extensive club, I’m sure, who wonder what is up with it. In saner moments, I question it, myself.

To fully appreciate the attraction of this, it’s necessary to understand what happens typically with most guys in my situation — having wives averse to sex.

Men typically start feeling physical pressure to orgasm 48-72 hours after their last orgasm. During the fist 24 hours, they could just about care less. Of course interractions with their chosen mate(s) play mightily into this. With the right chemistry, that cycle can be shortened considerably. But the cliche of the guy being a jerk right afterwards has a biological basis. After 2-3 days, he’s fully loaded, so to speak. Testosterone courses through his bloodstream and he’s hankering for release. The other cliiche is that he’ll say or do just about anything to get it. Women are notorious for their monthly mood swings, but men have much shorter cycles albeit less severe.

The guy stuck in a CL reaches for the release of convenience. He plays with his favorite toy whenever he wants as the opportunity and urgency presents itself. Sex-on-demand. However, this self-play comes at a very steep price.

I have never met a man who said, “Damn! I can’t wait to get married to this pretty lady, so I can jack off for the rest of my life!” Indeed, we are shocked and dismayed when we are turned down several times in succession. Wait a second…it wasn’t like this before we were married! There is pain and anger. There is a deep sense of betrayal. Masturbation becomes a source of contention as well as comfort. It releases the physical tension but does absolutely nothing for the emotional resentment, anger and sense of abandonment. So the resentment builds and grows.

So what does this have to do with the attraction to the chastity kink? Nothing and everything. I think different people are into it for individual reasons. Some are really into the BDSM scene and are into being submissive. Some are into forced feminization. Some might not even know why they like it. But all of them share the experience of the growing tension that chastity provides. All of them have consented to being locked up.

For me, it is the attraction of exploring my own psyche. Being locked up definitely puts me in a different state of mind that is less resentful. Over the course of the next week or two, you’ll get the idea. When locked up, I am especially keen to discuss it as it is never far from my mind.

D.

Findng a decent kink blog that is as thoughtful as it is titillating is a real challenge. I was once accused of thinking too much, but that’s who I am. If I had to pick a cerebral companion in the kink dept. it would have to be Bliatz. She’s truly a thinker on the subject, and writes some great stuff. The pictures are pretty nice too. When recreating my blog, I had some sort of notion of not being quite so kinky and leaving the chastity bit altogether. NOT successful. At all. Bliatz gives a dandy account of her experience with denial from a woman’s perspective here. Needless to say, it’s a much hotter read than anything I’ve written on the subject or that I’m likely to. She’s just hotter than I am. What can I say?

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