Eggs Rolled in Sand

07/30/2005

Saturday

There is one very real downside to doing what I do with the chastity the way I’m more or less forced to do it. Wearing the cage produces a lot of excitement, tempers my resentment and encourages better habits all around. There can also be a substantial rebound effect.

Last night, I was able to unlock right on schedule. I set the lock again for next time, and then took off the CB3000. It felt good to be free of it, but there is always a certain wierd feeling of me missing something right afterwards. Anyway, Arwyn put the boys to bed and then went to bed herself around 9 or so. I soon joined her and spent some time cuddling and kissing. Keep in mind that I had already asked for adult time the day before. It is also worth noting that she complained of a stomach ache as soon as I walked in the door after work. And then proceeded to give both boys haircuts which is akin to bathing two 50 pound cats.

While trying to kiss, she was pushing and grimacing. I asked what the deal was. She said it was the noises my kisses make. Since there is no open-mouth kissing allowed, they do tend to smack and pop. I asked her to show ,e how she’d like me to kiss. She refused. I asked what is wrong. She said lots of things. I asked for an example and she said the money issues and her job issues.

So we talked about that for quit some time. Our youngest, Elmo, is being a bear for potty training, and is slated to go into a preschool where Arwyn will be working part time. Trouble is they require that all 3 year-olds be potty trained. Most daycares and preschools do. So Arwyn is wondering if Elmo will be allowed to attend and if not, she’s out of a job. “Job” being defined as 2 days a week from 9-12:30 earning about $8 an hour. I suggested that maybe this might not be the job for her and there might be other possibilities and we discussed these possibilities including doing daycare on her own for one other child to start out. She liked this line of conversation and we discussed possibilities and sources of information.

An hour later, I tried again. Kissing and cuddling. No touching allowed as each time I’d get near a breast my hands and arms were pushed away. I’m spooning her in her regular clothes sans bra and wrapped up in her rug/blanket. She just wasn’t going to cooperate at all. She’d kiss but not offer anything one way or another in the way of feedback. I tried to make my kisses less noisy. Not an easy task when confined to fish kisses. I held and cuddled as she drifted off to sleep. She was actually sleeping with her head at the right end this time.

Actually she did cooperate in one aspect. She did keep her back to me so I was able to get a towel and jerk off in relative peace. I had a nice and lovely orgasm. All my stored jism came spewing forth into a towel, while all the anger and resentment poured forth into my head. I was so pissed. I didn’t want to spend any more time near Arwyn. It was only 11:30, so I got up, had a smoke, ate some junk food, watched some porn and drank half a bottle of wine, staying up until after 2:00 a.m.

Actually, I didn’t watch porn. It was Return of The King but porn fits better in the list of sins and vices I felt justified in engaging in. And I felt like engaging in more. The problem with using a chastity cage as a dam against resentment is that when it is removed it can result in some severe flooding. Arwyn simply aggrevated it more with her sick, stupid, fucking frigid, sexually anorexic ways.

Trying to get sex with her nowadays is like trying to force a fried chicken leg down a vegetarian anorexic. There’s simply no enticement for someone to like something they despise.

In the movie Goin South Jack Nicholson plays an outlaw in the post-civil war west. He’s about to be hanged but the authorities offer him a deal. He can have his life spared if he gets married to one of the local women, since there is a severe man shortage. He can’t imagine his good luck at being selected by a young, attractive woman (A young Mary Steenburgen) thus sparing his life. She procedes to force him to work in in her gold mine. Soon, he begins to wonder if he would have been better off being hanged. One of his old outlaw buddies (Played by Danny Devito) asked him how he liked being married. He described it as being like eating eggs rolled in sand.

That seems to pretty much describe the reality of being married to Arwyn. Working the mine and eating eggs rolled in sand.

D.

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3 Responses to Eggs Rolled in Sand

  1. Soledad says:

    “The problem with using a chastity cage as a dam against resentment is that when it is removed it can result in some severe flooding.”

    I thought this comment was pretty interesting. I was noticing that connection while I read your previous post and your current post, but I didn’t realize that the flip-flop of emotions wasn’t just a ‘just this time because of X’ thing.

    I am amazed at your persistence and resiliance in how you keep trying only to be shot down. You’ve been more than fair and understanding – I dare say most people would have just gotten a divorce already.

    If you two ever attend therapy to try to discuss the sexual problems you’re having, I would mention the position she sleeps in in bed. It’s just not normal.

  2. morgen z says:

    Soledad brought up a good point, and since I’m a new reader I’m not sure if you’ve discussed this before… is sex therapy an option here?

    I’m sorry things didn’t go better between you and A when the cage came off. It seems like you were hoping for something more from her, and for whatever reasons, she just wasn’t able to give.

  3. Denise Regan says:

    Why isn’t open mouthed kissing allowed?

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