My day has been made. At least I know the comment function is working.

So, maybe now it a good time for an update. When last I posted, I was in some pretty serious trouble. I’m not out of the woods, but things are looking better from a legal standpoint. No specifics, but I will say that it was looking quite bleak.

On the relationship front, Arwyn and I have had a few good talks. Few. And sort of good, in that they did involve a certain amount of depth. Nothing earth-shattering, but she admitted that she had pretty much checked out emotionally. I see her trying to check back in, but that is easier said than done.

We did have sex on Monday might and it was the best encounter we’ve had in 3 months. The last two were unmitigated disasters. The short version of those:
In April, there was the cockring affair. She had complained about me being unable to hold an erection so I bought some cock rings. I had discussed it with her beforehand and she thought they might be okay. When she saw me with one on, she changed her mind. And things went down hill from there.
In early May, there was an encounter where I was so rife with insecurity, fear and uncertaintly there was no way I was able to hold an erection. In additon to my own issues, she insists on trying to hop up on me before she’s even half-way ready. The “hurry-up-so-I-can-sleep” manuever.

So the other day, she said she hoped to get the boys in bed early so we could have some time together before she left for her parent’s. The boys didn’t cooperate too well as they were all excited about the trip. But they eventually did simmer down. Then Arwyn wanted a massage. Not a backrub, a massage. So she got one, giving me the Ron Jeremy treatment of directing. I was a little unsteady on that, but tried my best as I knew that there was no way I would know if I was doing it right unless she told me what she wanted.

Here’s a tip for the ladies, or anyone wanting to train your mate in the pleasuring arts: positive feedback is more powerful than aversive feedback and criticism. Moan and sigh when it is being done correctly. An occasional gasp would be okay, too although it can be a bit startling.

I spent a good 20 minutes working mostly her back but sometimes her legs. Her neck, shoulders, lower back, calves and ankles were safe zones to touch as much as I pleased. Feet, thighs and butt were right out.

Then, she got naked as did I. Yes, she was in her nightgown during the massage.

She got on top and hugged with a bit of kissing (not too deep, now) and ground her pelvis into me. Then, as soon as she thought I would be hard enough, she began trying to work me inside of her. Egad.

“I don’t think you’re quite ready for that, yet.” I offered.

Her response was to look at the clock…”Well, it’s getting late and we have a long day tomorrow.”

>sighloved!! I want to be desired. Duty sex, pity sex…what kind of deal is that?

The next morning her and the kids lft town. Left the state. Left me ALONE! YAAAAHHHOOOO!

Soo like my friend Jay, I am FREEE for the rest of the week! Hence my more chippier disposition.

I’ll have to go over what’s new in my mind in another post.


5 Responses to 111948194764658580

  1. Tajalude says:

    June must be the universal month of spousal separation. Seems to be going around! : )

    Sounds like Monday night wasn’t too bad at all. I hope for both of your sakes that she gets to a point eventually where she will allow you to touch her in even basic places… (feet, thighs, etc) So much can be communicated through touch.

    Again, so glad to see you back! : )(And grateful to hear your legal troubles are at least less critical than first thought)

  2. Dewdrop says:

    As Tajalude said – good to read that you’re legal problems aren’t so bad after all 🙂

    I’m pleased to read that your wife seems to be making an effort. It’s not perfect by any means, but it’s a start. A foot in the right direction is better than standing still.

    You say what kind of deal is that regarding duty sex and pity sex? It’s not a great deal. But, well, it’s the deal I make most of the time with my husband, I’m afraid. He’s also said to me that he feels guilty for making me (?) do something I would rather not do most of the time. He feels guilty and I feel pissed off, yeah, what kind of deal is that? It’s not so great a deal, but that’s life. Nothing is perfect. We enjoy the bits that are good, and cope as best we can with the bits that aren’t so good – most of the time.

  3. Digger Jones says:

    Okay, Dewdrop, here’s the deal; Isn’t there something vaguely sexual and intimate that you would actually *enjoy* doing? Something that wouldn’t piss you off so much? I dunno…mutual masturbation or something? You’ve said that you can get yourself off. It seems like putting on a bit of a demonstration of clinic for him might pay dividends both ways.


  4. Dewdrop says:

    Did my comment fly past you too fast? lol It’s NOT that I don’t enjoy doing it always, only when I’m not in the mood, which is a lot more than my husband of course.

  5. Dewdrop says:

    …something that wouldn’t piss me off so much…heheh, god that’s difficult. Mutual masturbation would piss me off just as much as sex, actually, because I wouldn’t be in the mood, and just wouldn’t feel like it. But hey, I’d do it, just to please Hubs. Now and again, why not? Compromise. Do what I don’t want to do to please him, and him not getting ‘it’ as much as he’d like is his side of the compromise. Isn’t this blog about YOU? lol.

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