Return to Schnarch

Anyone reading the past month or so knows my relationship has seemingly stalled and begun taking a nose dive. Just when things were starting to look up, too! But this is the way it goes, sometimes. Well, pretty much ALL the time, because that’s sort of the way marriage works. A few steps forwards, and seemingly a few steps back into gridlock. But gridlock is where we are, because that’s where we have to be.

Last weekend, I went ahead and downloaded the mp3 version of Schnarch’s most recent book,Secrets of a Passionate Marriage. For me, it was a totally worthwhile download. Here, I could listen to Schnarch’s words delivered as he meant them to sound. And he manages to go through the whole thing in less than 2 hours. While I had begun rereading certain parts of Passionate Marrige, I was having a hard time getting into it. With the mp3, I could listen to it as many times as I wanted, in any order. Schnarch delivers his prose in a conversational style, sometimes in front of a “live” audience, as you can sometimes hear people laugh in the background as he delivers a humorous line.

And after the 3rd or so time through, some of this started to really sink back in. The therapist has been SO dead wrong in his approach. Pretty much all marriage therapists and sex therapists get it wrong, even though this stuff has been out around 20 years! The reason why it might not be so popular is because there is a definite spiritual focus on this approach to discovering intimacy. Schnarch makes no bones about how elegantly the sexual relationship acts as a catalyst for growth, change and intimacy. Or the fact that human sexuality is a product of deliberate and complex design. However, I do need to throw in a caveat that Schnarch is NOT an evangelical and is totally fine with referring and treating gay couples with his approach. But this should not detract from the truth that he reveals.

And that truth is, is that I’ve been dead wrong. I think I was saying that a year ago, too. For some reason, once we got into therapy, I sort of laid what I had learned then down. That was mistake. Just the act of calling a therapist and making an appointment and following through…these were all acts of trying to break the emotional gridlock. How odd that firing the therapist might be the next step in breaking this episode of emotional gridlock!LOL!

But we have been chasing our tails around the issues, here. There has been a bit of progress in that we have had more sex. Considering the score was a big fat ZERO for the previous year, it wouldn’t take much. On the intimacy front, I can say there was SOME progress, but much less pronounced.

The therapist is treating this as a communication issue, and it is definitely not a communication issue. The message could not be more clear: I want more sex. She does not. There is no way that the message could be more clear than nailing it to our foreheads! We get it! It’s right there! She wants a dog. I do not. In the case of dog ownership, I am the low desire partner. There is no communication issue, here! No matter how many times I speak her love language, she is not going to budge from her position. No matter how many times she speaks mine, I’m not getting a dog.

The problem is not one of speaking and listening. It is a problem of anxiety. Today, while listening to Schnarch, the light bulb went on. I’m getting it. Again.

Basically, Arwyn has a whole lot of anxiety about intimacy, especially as far as it is expressed sexually. But it also translates into her being a general avoider, too. And so it is, that I happen to share a lot of the same sorts of anxiety but it expresses itself a bit differently. We’re both kind of distant folk. Not unfriendly, but we have big boundaries around us and we keep a big distance. But at the same time we want a type of closeness. That’s the big rub, here. We both want to be close but we both want distance. It just so happens that I’m capable of having sex while maintaining quite a bit of distance. In other words, my emotional involvement doesn’t have to be terribly deep for me to have an orgasm. Arwyn is actually a lot alike me in that respect except she actually requires quite a lot of distance to orgasm. That’s why she prefers the lights off and the eyes tightly shut and she does not want me looking at her face while she is in the throes of passion. In other words, her emotional involvement is pretty well evenly matched with mine. It’s low. But there is a part of her that wants more.

What’s getting in the way is anxiety and fear. Sex is simply one way to have closeness while managing the anxiety, but Arwyn has simply not mastered much in the way of managing her fears. And so, like every other couple on the planet, we have to deal with the sexual leftovers.

Sexual leftovers is what every couple has when it comes to sex. Each person makes a list of what is too disgusting and perverted and then the other person makes their list and then you agree on the leftovers. That’s what you call compromise, right? But that leads to sexual boredom which leads to tension and eventual gridlock. At some point, the anxiety comes to a head and then has to be dealt with.

I feel like I’m drifting, here.

A few months back, we had probably the greatest breakthrough EVER as far as sexual intimacy. It was at a time when we were good all around. One night we approached each other and we ended up in the lotus position. Yeah, I figured out what it was. But I might have underestimated the amount of courage that went into this for her. And we may have done it a time or two since then. But some how we were able to manage that face-to-face intimacy.

Okay, I’m getting tired and need to turn in, but at least I have a better idea of what is going on and I’m not nearly as snarky on Arwyn as I was earlier. I’ll have to expound more on the differentiation aspect of this later, as we are still having to work through that.

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Thanks to Trueself for suckering me into this one. You think it's me?

The Haircut

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This morning was, in the words of the former blogger known as Satan a YES sort of morning. Sorry if you don’t get that obscure reference.

Early this afternoon, I went to my regular barber to get my haircut. Bill’s barbershop is just down the road on highway 66 and a mighty convenient $10 haircut. I’d prefer the saucy little German cutie, but Bill is okay. At least when he’s there. He’s a bit lazy-ish and often closes up early to go fish, drink beer or otherwise have fun. The sign says he’s open 9-5 but that is rarely the case. I’ve often pulled up to his shop at 3:30 only to find a sign in the window, “It’s 5:00 somewhere!” I trry to get in early on Saturday morning, but can’t always manage it.

So it’s a little after 2:00 on a Saturday and he is closed…AGAIN. I’m pissed. I’ve gone to other barbers before on account of Bill’s irregularity, but it involves driving way out of my way. I’d like to find a guy close by who is dependable!

So I decide to try something else. I’ll fix Bill’s ass.

I went home and told Arwyn that she could give me a haircut. She cuts the boys’ hair, or trims more like. She has always stated that she wanted to cut my hair and I’ve always declined. This time, I was giving her her big chance. She was pretty excited as she got her scissors, comb and clippers. No little skirt, unfortunately. I guess this would be a Helga cut. I had no idea.

She must have spent nearly an hour clipping, snipping, combing, feathering, trimming and fussing over my hair. She would stop, look it over, cut some more and look again. It’s that whole perfectionist thing at work. She wanted it to be done perfectly.

Yeah, Arwyn pretty much totally and perfectly butchered and botched it. She only drew blood once or twice, but she blamed the whack job on the irregular shape of my head and the fact that my hair grows crooked. These are all true, BTW. Thing is, I wasn’t all that upset by it. In fact, Arwyn was more upset than me. She apologized profusely and swore that she would never touch my hair again.

“Maybe you can get someone to fix it.”

“No, I think this is just about right, Arwyn. I really do like it short and this look works for me.”

I plan on getting lots of stares and comments on it. And people are going to ask me, “Where did you get that haircut?” And I’m going to tell them:

“Oh, I got it cut at Bill’s Barbershop off of highway 66. You like it?”

Thanks Bill!

D.

Hashing it out

Those of you following along know what happened during date night. Those of you who were not following, might want to do so now before proceeding.

Thursday morning, I got up to do my part but Arwyn got up while I was taking my shower and got into the routine of getting the kids off to school. Thursday night, we did talk about it. She reiterated that she was tired, and I understood that, but I told her she could have given me some prior notice rather than leave me hanging right up until the moment in question. She apologized for it and I tried to get across how it really made me feel and truly eroded the trust that we have been building. Yes, she has been trying to do things differently but if the same stuff keeps happening, it looks kind of like that old business as usual. So she suggested we try it again Friday night. I decided we could as I could be in a better spot than right then and there. Talking and hashing it out did help to keep from repressing stuff and carrying it around forever. When a body carries resentment around, it never gets lighter, it only gets heavier no matter how small of an issue it is.

As for me, I had to work on leaving the resentment behind and moving on. That took some work. There was also some talk about the previous encounter where Arwyn did feel some pain while we were doing it. That would explain the avoidance, and again I told her that letting me know soner rather than later was a better way of dealing with things. However she was still keen to try Friday night.

Friday night she did hold up her end of the bargain. She got the kids to bed at a decent hour and we were able to spend some naked time together. By this time, I was in a better spot emotionally and it was possible to be relatively fun and playful. She’s still defensive about most types of intimate touching but I was able to accommodate and move on past that. More or less. My body needs a lot more practice in this new climate where there is a more extended time of nakedness preceding the Main Event. The Main Event lasted all of about 2 minutes for me, which isn’t exactly the road to get Arwyn where she wants. She was actually feeling pretty good and was trying to grind into me, but things just were not being cooperative and my whole orgasm just snuck up on me and ambushed me out of no where. We didn’t exactly hash that part of it out but she assured me that there was no pain involved this time. She did make an appointment with her gyn doctor on Thursday for sometime in May, as she hasn’t been in a couple of years but I think that pain issue always will be lurking around in the background.

Kind of a discombobulated post, here!

The Saturday morning routine of letting Arwyn sleep in was a lot easier on me as we do have the youngin’s trained to sleep or at least stay in bed until 7:00 and I was able to get breakfast and she was able to sleep in for a few hours. So hopefully that part of the arrangement made our time together time well-spent while we work on other things. So many issues…

So yeah, there is progress here. I think we have come a long way, but we have miles and miles to go. The good news is that we have a lifetime to get there and at least I feel like we’re traveling in the same direction together. Date night is a difficult thing to stick with just because it is that thing in the schedule that will be the first to get shucked if everything isn’t exactly right. I think there’s profitable lessons to be learned in working through whatever obstacles and issues there are instead of avoiding them. Avoidance has not worked for me in the past and working through things (especially the most difficult issues) seems to work better.

D.

The Arrangement

I have a podcast in the can and ready to be uploaded to my blogger site.  But here’s a little background and a bit of a teaser to bring you up to speed…

After my last post, we did have a joint counseling session.  While I can’t say what we did talk about, I can tell you what we didn’t talk about, which was the fact that we had finally had sex two weeks before.  I do remember Arwyn asking whether she felt like she was getting anything out of the sessions and she thought she was.  So that’s good enough for me; I’m in.  The next night we had sex again!  WooHoo!  Only this time she did complain that there was some pain involved which she didn’t readily specify and wasn’t sure what it was butdid say that things did improve with a little change of position where she could get her legs wrapped all the way around me.  That was a new and novel position for us, as I was always too big for that to occur before.

Somehow the suggestion was made that maybe part of the problem is that we are so out of practice and need to do this on a more regular basis.  So I suggest that we just set it up on a weekly basis.  She agreed (afterall, she did say that she wanted it at least once per week) and said Wednesday nights would work best for her, because she didn’t have to work on Thursdays.  She asked if it would be okay if I got up with the boys and put them on the bus on Thursday mornings so she could sleep in.  That sounded good to me, so we made it a date.

How did the date go?

You’ll have to watch for and listen to the podcast to find out.

D.

Merry Christmas!

I have the pleasure of teaching the Sunday before Christmas and the Sunday before New Years.  I wonder if anyone will show up.

 

The format will be extremely informal.  I just want to know where everyone is, spiritually speaking.  Are there challenges with the Christmas season that are unique?  What are they?  Why are they more challenging now than other times during the year?

 

What are you most looking forward to this season?  Maybe the holidays being over?

 

“After the holidays” is something that is heard a lot more this time of year.  People put off things until after the holidays.  They put off weight loss, starting a new habit or breaking an old one.  Conducting business this time of year can be a challenge.  Everything from construction projects to just getting in to see the doctor.  Try traveling by air for a good time.  It is difficult to get anything done’

 

In our church group we are every bit as much caught in the web.  Family night supper…not until after the holidays.  Choir practice…after the holidays.  Church office….closed for the holidays.

 

All in the name of celebrating the birth of Jesus.  But when Jesus was born, people still were living their daily lives.  They were in the midst of being counted for a tax declared by Caesar Augustus. They were tending vineyards and flocks, fishing, making and dying clothe, trading, bartering and selling.  

 

We talk all during the season of lent about anticipating the coming of the baby Jesus.  It’s an odd thing to talk about this.  Wasn’t he already born?  Why do we look forward to the birth of the baby all over again?  Why do we insist on putting Jesus back in the manger every year?

 

It is a good time of year to celebrate the coming of Christ.  We commemorate this event because it is when God came to live among us.  God loved the world so much the He came here to be one of us.  Why?  It wasn’t to bring some more laws and commandments.  He already sent Moses and the prophets for that.  It was not to set up an institution.  The Jews had a fine institution with a temple, synagogues, priests and other leaders to judge and interpret the law.  The scribes and Pharisees carefully preserved the laws and traditions during the exile and during various occupations and persecutions.

 

God did not need to come to Earth in order to set up a religion or a religious government.  There were already elders, priests, teachers of the law and civil authorities in place.  In fact, the Roman Empire afforded unprecedented opportunities in civil government, leadership and  peace and security.  There had already been prophets, judges and kings. 

 

The institutions and laws set up by God were not going to suffice.  God has a bigger plan which He had from the beginning.  God wanted His creation to be able to walk with Him as Adam did in the Garden of Eden.  People needed God but God wanted a people who would know Him.  A people who cared about knowing Him.  The only way to restore that relationship was to deal with the problem of sin which ruined that relationship in the first place.  That relationship can only be restored by somehow dealing with sin.  Jesus, God with Us, was the only solution that would do.

 

All the hoopla is about God being in relationship with us and us being in relationship with Him and each other.   It is about restoring a relationship broken by sin.  Without relationship, Christmas makes no sense.  It’s no accident that many broken relationships are often restored this time of year.  People who don’t speak to each other any other time of year seek to connect around Christmas.  Why?

 

I think it is because relationship is hard wired into our psyche.  We’re made in God’s image and God created humans especially to have relationship with Him and with each other.  Once relationship is broken (on account of sin) we are in a state of unrest until we can reconcile.  This time of year is about human relationship for most people but for God it is Him reconciling people to Himself.  And it all began with the baby in the manger.  It is all difficult to understand unless we consider how we feel about our own broken relationships.  In order to truly reconcile we need to physically connect and touch.  And that’s what God did.  He reached His hand out to us.  Will we reach back?  Will we return the embrace?  God leaves that entirely up to us, but He’s there whenever we decide to show up in the relationship. 

 

Through being in a human relationship where only one of us shows up at a time, I’ve come to understand how God feels when we do that to Him.  He understands rejection in the most intimate and personal way possible.  It happens to Him everyday on a massive, global scale.    

 

D.

[This morning the lesson went swimmingly well as the other folks really did bring their game on and we had some dandy discussion.  Even a few resolutions about getting along with hard-to-take relatives based on this lesson which I started out reading Matthew 1:12-25 (I think) focusing on "God with us" and what it means.]

204.4

I have a post or two that I’ve started but none have been finished or developed enough to get published.  But at least I have the whole weekly weight thing I’m committed to, right?

 

I am at a tough spot as far as weight loss.  I suppose I should be thankful that I’m not gaining.  I finally got that 2 pound bag of chocolate chips out of the house…by eating them!  I have a serious weakness for chocolate of the semi-sweet variety and discovered these little fat mines while looking in the pantry for something else.  The butterscotch chips are not nearly as tempting but they are there.

 

I’ve spoken about the exercise ad nauseam but haven’t said much about my diet apart from cutting down to 1500 calories per day.  So watching Food Network for a few hours got me thinking about it. 

 

People will claim that eating healthy costs more than eating junk.  Pound-for-pound, that might actually be true, but portion size is one of the single biggest causes of obesity.  We like to super size all of our meals and I’ve been hideous about that in my previous life of gluttony.  I could pack in huge amounts of food, so I relied on cheap carbs to fill me up.  However, halving my calorie intake makes eating sensibly more economical and pays dividends, healthwise. 

 

Eating out is a serious challenge to anyone wanting to lose weight.  While I’m as happy eating at home as anywhere, my wife and kids love eating out.  So last week, we did give it a shot and went to the local Subway.  Not exactly high end, but it represented something I thought I could work into the plan.  And Subway is nice enough to plaster their nutritional information on their menu, the wrapping, their counter and even their napkins.  At around 350 calories for a 6″ sub, they aren’t too out of line as long as you don’t get the Doritos.  Instead of cheese and mayo, go for hot peppers and mustard.  And skip the drink.

 

I have just a few dietary staples that have been carrying me through the past 6 weeks or so.

 

Breakfast:

1 16 oz smoothie w/ plain nonfat yogurt, skim milk, srawberrries, banana and peaches OR 1 bowl of Cheerios with skim milk, strawberries or blackberries.

 

Lunch: 3 Tacquitos made with: corn tortillas, refried beans, ground turkey, tomatoes, garlic, onion, hot sauce and some sweet corn.  I figure these are about 120 calories each and I make 60 or so at a time and freeze them then reheat at 1 minute each.

 

Dinner: 1 hamburger made with:

Ground turkey, egg, worceshire sauce, minced garlic and oatmeal dressed out with tomato, onion and mustard on wheat bread.

 

Snacks consist of either an apple or grapes.

 

I can do this routine pretty much everyday, day after day.  Occasionally I’ll have a chicken breast instead of the hamburger and will do a salad of cucumbers, broccoli, tomato and onion with a fat free low cal dressing.

 

But as you can see, this is light on carbs and higher in protein and fiber than my old pasta/bread/potato based diet.

 

BTW, I did get my answer to Square1’s Question: What do you know about Islam? on my other blog, Unsolicited Advice.   It might be sort of disturbing, which wasn’t my initial intent but it sort of evolved into something else in its own.  Oh well.

 

D.

 

That’s Me — Mr. McDreamy

 

The other day, I was driving home and listening to talk radio which is my usual fare. Sean Hannity is the one usually on when I drive home. It’s not that I’m particularly fond of him, it’s just that the other talk radio station craps out after dark, and the Christian stations are still into their music format until later. He and his female producer (or assistant of some sort) were talking about the Woman’s Day poll. He was appalled that his assistant admitted to being a compulsive flirt. “Does your husband know about this? Is he okay with this? I don’t believe it! You flirt with strange men? All the time?”

 

Regular listeners will know that debating anything with Hannity is next to impossible because he rarely gives the other person time to breathe let alone respond. I got home in the midst of this little discussion and it sounded slightly interesting. According to the reported results, over half of the women who responded to the survey said they either wouldn’t get married to the same guy again or were not sure. Actually, if you look at the poll, you’ll see that it was a pretty even split, statistically between those who said “yes” and “no”. the “not sure” crowd was thrown with the “no” crowd to give the story some legs. I one puts them with the “yes crowd, you have ¾ that say they’d at least consider doing it again. That’s not too shabby, really.

 

This story, for me, should have ended right there with me turning off the radio and getting out of the truck and going in the house. But it didn’t. This story had legs all right, and it was splashing and running. Later that night, Arwyn was watching TV and I happened to be with her when Access Hollywood ran with it. I’m surprised Arwyn watched the story, especially with me right there. This would be a prime time to ask her if she’d do it all over again but let’s be perfectly real and honest; we both knew the answer. Neither of us would marry the other again, knowing what we do now. That doesn’t make it all bad. It’s a lot like college, basic training or high school. They were tremendously important times, and sometimes very enjoyable. But that doesn’t mean you’d make the exact same decision again or that you want to do it again.

 

We actually did have a short conversation about the poll, though. It had to do with the question about who the sexiest man in America is. Since show was all over ABC, there was considerable discussion about “Mr. McDreamy” from Grey’s Anatomy. I actually had to look it up to see that it was Patrick Dempsey. I know she watches that show so I asked her about it. She said she wouldn’t consider Mr. McDreamy sexy, at least in his portrayal on the show, because he sleeps with everyone and is a compulsive cheater. I’ve seen the show a time or two myself and I never thought he was all that bad.

 

I tried to think of a way to steer this little conversation around but could see no way to do it without it resulting in a big hurtful blow-up. Mainly, what is a guy who is not getting sex from his wife expected to do when she is no longer interested? He’s just supposed to continue living in a state of involuntary celibacy? I mean a guy like that is probably tempted all the time.

 

There just wasn’t any traction to this whole line of conversation, so I dropped it. I’m not really looking to cheat and I don’t look like Mr. McDreamy so I’m not constantly being tempted by women throwing themselves at me. As nice as that would seem, it’s through the grace of God that I’m spared that sort of thing. That, plus my rather prickly, withdrawn and introverted personality. People talk about being antisocial as if it were a bad thing!

 

FTN (Who does happen to look like Mr. McDreamy) also caught the bit about the story saying a third of people sleeping at opposite ends of the bed while the poll definitely says opposite side of the bed. Yeah, for a minute there I thought my Freak Show Franchise For Sleeping was in serious jeopardy! There is no way 1/3 of all women sleep at opposite ends of the bed like Arwyn does. In fact, no one else has come forward to confess that they do this.

 

Someone asked why I don’t simply switch up, so we are at the same end, again. Then Arwyn would simply adjourn to the couch which she does sometimes, anyway. So my snoring is a pretty big part of it. I thought maybe stopping smoking might lessen that, but apparently not. I might as well puff away. I have absolutely no problems with Arwyn’s snoring. And she can be loud sometimes. But I like it. I’m twisted that way in that I like hearing the sounds of her breathing, snoring and assorted other noises. I derive comfort from it. This is clearly not the case for her as well as many other women who opt for alternate sleeping arrangements.

 

Someone else mentioned sleep apnea, which can be life threatening. At the very least, it is annoying. At least I notice that I haven’t woken up with a headache like I used to, so maybe not smoking has been helpful enough that way. If I’m going to die from anything at any time, I would just as soon go in my sleep. Seriously, none of us gets to pick exactly how we’re going to go, but dying in my sleep gets my vote every time. I suppose dying while having an orgasm (with a partner )would be a good way to go, but those odds are far too long to even think about in this house. No, sleep gets my vote if I’m allowed one. And then I can dream about what it might be like to be referred to as “Mr. McDreamy.”

 

D.

 

 

 

What’s My Accent?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak “Standard English straight out of the dictionary” but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like “Are you from Wisconsin?” or “Are you from Chicago?” Chances are you call carbonated drinks “pop.”
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A Political Screed

 

Amazing how people around the world really get caught up in American politics.  Foreign countries everywhere are watching and wondering and hoping.

 

Who do you think Osama Bin Laden is rooting for from his cave?  You remember, the guy who orchestrated that little attack here a few years ago?  The one that had people throwing themselves off the top of a burning building?

 

Emily was wondering how anyone could vote Republican in this election.  Just for the record, I did not vote Republican. I didn’t vote Democrat, either.  I simply couldn’t hold my nose tight enough to vote for either party so I did other things instead, like getting food for my family and materials for work.  I’m not associated with any really close races, and after looking at the ballot concluded I didn’t have a horse in the race at all.  And when I think about it, I have not for a long time.

 

In my other blog, I’m documenting a spiritual journey that took me overseas in the early 1980’s.  I remember back then, Europeans thought Ronald Reagan was a madman who was going to blow up the planet with nuclear weapons.  He was provoking the Soviets at every turn, actually moving more Pershing II missiles into Germany while I was there, giving rise to the Green Party.

 

I saw the posters in East Germany, making Reagan and the U.S. out to be murderers and baby killers.  I actually did crash a little Communist convention and bought some anti-nuke pins for the heck of it.  But I also saw a people terribly oppressed and afraid who lived in darkness as opposed to the light and gaiety just on the other side of that wall.  Reagan’s resolve broke the Soviets as much as it drove them insane.

 

The party of Ronald Reagan exists no more than the party of Truman or John F. Kennedy.  I do feel betrayed by the Republican Party.  At the same time, the Democratic Party has declared war on Christianity and Christian culture.  They preach tolerance while being intolerant.  But if the party of John Kerry (you wanted THAT buffoon as president?) can give me a compelling enough argument, I’m listening.  But keep in mind, I was one of those morons he talked about who did join the military.  I should have studied harder.

 

In 1980, Reagan invited Democrats who felt disaffected by Jimmy Carter’s Democrats to join him.  He recalled the greatness of Franklin D. Roosevelt and how he, too, felt like the party had left him.  Today, I’m feeling like the GOP left me.  However, unlike the Ronald Reagan who found a home among Republicans, I don’t have a political home.  The modern Democrats have vacated the middle entirely.  They have no room for Christians who might hold the Bible and the teachings therein to be sacred.  Because I see Jesus as an important force in my life, I am seen as a religious nut.  I recognize the danger of an adversary who wants us all dead, and I’m seen as a war monger.

 

Joe Lieberman voted against G.W. on almost every issue except for one: Iraq.  The Democrats tried to run one of the few moderates left in their party off because of one single issue.

 

I don’t like the war either, and welcome a constructive change in strategy.  However, retreat would not be viewed as one of them.  We can not afford to vacate that region under any circumstances when there is that wacko right next door in Iran testing missiles and developing a nuclear bomb!  Can we afford to leave Iraq to it’s own ways when it is next door to the largest sponsor of terrorism in the world?

 

I do feel the war was mucked up from the outset.  That first year, instead of reconstruction there was a move to punish everybody who was in Saddam’s party which means everybody with the knowledge and ability to make the government work.  They disbanded the military, sending some 100,000 men home, with their weapons with nothing but time on their hands.  And then there was Abu Graib.  That evil place should have been razed to the ground.  Now we had armed people sitting around with all sorts of time on their hands who were pissed off. 

 

We can’t stay but we also can’t leave.  It’s an unholy mess, and it really is fine with me if people want to punish Republicans for it although it does rest more squarely on GW than congress.  However, don’t be fooled into thinking that the Democrats are going to rescue us from this war.  Osama went after the U.S. because he thought we were weak and this is going to reinforce his opinion.  You will see more fighting than ever before once Democrats gain a foothold.  Now, the terrorists will smell blood and will take pleasure in shedding more of it.  The more Democrats opine about how poorly the war is going, the more motivated the terrorists will be in finalizing their victory.  Those terrorists want the Democrats to win very, very badly.  This is why October was such a violent month in Iraq!  Just like the bombs in Spain produced a government of appeasement, so too the violence of last October will shift the U.S. government.  Now they can press their advantage.

 

Brace yourself for a serious bloodbath, as the terrorists try to make things so bad as to make people cry out for GW’s impeachment. 

 

I don’t blame people for voting for the Republicans.  While there are reservations about the war from the GOP, they are not talking about the timed or scheduled withdrawals.  They see the bigger picture a bit more realistically and it is a painful picture it would be easier to deny.  However, I also don’t blame people for NOT voting for the Republicans as their sins are many and they deserve punishment.  For those who sincerely believe in the cause of the modern Democratic Party and their socialist agenda, I don’t blame them for voting their conscience.  

 

I think we have an amazing system of government which is probably why the world is so fascinated with it.  We don’t have military coups, or have our ex-presidents shot and while there is considerable acrimony nowadays, there’s not going to be people chopping off other people’s heads because of one side drawing a cartoon about the other.  I’ve watched some proceedings of the British and Australian Parliaments on C-Span and wouldn’t trade our system for theirs for anything. 

 

Okay, that’s enough of my political screed for awhile.  No matter what party wins, I still have to get up in the morning and go to work and pay taxes. 

 

D.