Yeah, It fuckin’ rocks.

Glad you didn’t get too bent about being made an example of Taja! I was hoping that I didn’t go too far astray.

Yeah, Dave, you are *highly* fortunate! Too fortunate, in fact. Maybe we can get you more conflicted in the next installment!

I know that it seems like these women who like sex are like aliens to you (and me) FTN, and seem to be in the minority. But I’m not totally buying it. I think women have a keener sense of penetration than me. I also think that women like our wives are hiding more than we think. As far as what we did earlier, I might sometimes think of that as fucking, but it wasn’t really. It was her dealing with her anxiety about our relationship and me being Lizard Man and enjoying the sensations. We were not *doing* each other, tho, really. We were doing *something* for sure and at the time it was enough. See my post about XH on Unsolicited Advice. Reading his post, you can see that while they are doing more activities than either you or I, he still suffers from the same basic lack of intimacy.

Katie, what shall I do with you?!? You really could be a good sex blogger.

Yeah, I do get the mutual masturbation thing, Desmond, and Schnarch refers to that as sort of using your reptilian brain, or the nonthinking part instead of the neocortex. It’s easy because it allows us to avoid all the stuff that can shut us down, threaten us and cause anxiety. As far as John Eldridge, I’ve read parts of it, visited the website and linked to an interview of his where I get the gist of his message. He’s got a lot of good points.

D.

And, I do resonate with the notion that men get their aggression ’socialized and censored right out of us’. I just finished ‘Wild at Heart’, and that was the thing that just burrowed into my soul and wouldn’t let go. . .

Towel, please.

“I think us men sometimes have our aggression socialized and censored right out of us.”

That part is so true, and it’s often never more evident than in the church itself. We’re socialized to be nice guys! Testosterone and aggression are bad! Sex isn’t talked about, because as long as you wait for marriage, it’ll be great, right?!

Also, I’m not sure I could totally agree with the idea that women have that much more of a comfort level with everything sexual. If Schnarch is seeing that at his lectures, that’s because he’s only seeing the type of people that go to sex lectures or sex counseling! I have no doubt that there are groups of women that are “comfortable with being sexual,” but to be honest, I don’t know if I know any of them. And I *know* my wife doesn’t know anyone like that, because she sticks to the motif that the only women that ARE like that are the tiny group that are around on these blogs!

Digger, would you consider some of the sexual things that were happening much earlier in you and Arwyn’s relationship to be “doing” (or fucking, which is hard for me to even type)?

I’m pretty lucky in that respect though, we’re pretty suited for each other, in her own understanding of what she wants and needs, and my willingness to try to give that- and the reverse, I am able to tell her what would be good, and she’s open to trying that too.

Maybe more than just “pretty” lucky, huh? Very much so indeed!