189.8

November 19, 2007

And so the adventure continues.  I’m close.  Very, very close to having a BMI considered “normal” for my height.  That Biggest Loser contest I was in was supposed to wrap up last week, but turned out to be a total sham.  Out of 25 people who weighed in, only 4 people paid!  The guy organizing it was too lackadaisical in collecting money.  He just said they good pay whenever as long as they paid before the winner was announced.  I told him that wouldn’t work for the reason it didn’t.  It happened just like I said.  People waited and worked for a few weeks and when it was apparent that someone (me) was making progress and they weren’t, they quit.  So he put the option of continuing until February, but no one else was going to pay into that sucker bet.  I’ve lost almost 40 pounds in 15 weeks!  So in the interest of competition, I resigned from it and told him to keep the money for the next contest, if there is one. 

 

Just the idea of competition was enough to spur me on enough so now I’ve come far enough it isn’t that big of a deal.  Yeah, I was the clear winner, but I’ve come far enough that I consider the $30 money well spent.  I don’t care about the money or a title.  Everyone knows it, and I shared my stats and story on the company bbs so all could see it.  Maybe it will spur people on, what with this being National Diabetes Awareness Month.

 

At some point I’ll probably stop posting every little update here.  But then that means I’d have to write about something else!  My hat is off to Finished Last who sort of helped inspire much of this plan.  It was amazingly simple: 1000 calories for meals and 500 for snacks.  I went bonkers for fiber and found a workout activity I liked.  Climbing the 1.3 mile trail at Stone Mountain is a good one, too, for me because I can save a knee or two by taking the sky lift down.  The kids actually like doing that one, too.  Arwyn not so much.  Which is why she got time for herself today while the boys and I went.

 

I ordered The Passionate Marriage from eBay, since everyone seems to be raving on it and I’ve enjoyed some excerpts shared by 2Amsomewhere.  In the meantime, I notice Arwyn I moving into a somewhat better spot in our relationship.  We’re having more talks and discussions beyond kids and jobs to a point where it’s almost pleasant and enjoyable. 

 

One point of discussion did come up about her workplace.  She found out that someone she used to work with was actually fired from the job.  She didn’t know that.  She got a bit upset when she found out why.  Apparently this coworker had a MySpace page and was blogging about kids and coworkers using real names.  A parent got hold of it and soon the offender was bounced out.  Arwyn saw this as a serious infringement on her privacy and Googled around looking to see if her name came up.  She felt totally uncomfortable with the idea of her privacy being invaded like that.

 

Oops.

 

She does know I have a blog, and I’ve shown it to her.   A different universe. It’s actually more work related and since I don’t use any real names it’s not likely anyone would I.D. it.  But she still feels a bit insecure about it. 

 

This blog would totally be uncool with her.  It’s been a total avenue of support for me in so many ways, I can’t imagine NOT having it.  But I’m considering not having it.  Maybe I’ve used it as too much of a crutch.  Maybe I need to get out more in real life. 

 

I could still retain Unsolicited Advice as I purposefully set that up to NOT be so personally relationship/sex centered. Yeah there’s sexual content there, but it’s not in any way a daily account of my personal life.  There’s some personal history in the WordPress version, but it’s not anything too aversive. 

 

I think Arwyn’s concerns are somewhat valid.  This hyper-secretiveness is a trait we both sort of share and is at the root of many of our problems.  We keep a lot of stuff from each other and neither probes too deeply lest we end up getting probed ourselves.  But it’s caused problems, obviously.  But perhaps we can move out of that pattern a bit if by just having less stuff to hide.  While I’ve taken reasonable precautions in keeping stuff on the down-low stuff still happens.  Despite the stuff I’ve shared here, I’m still a pretty secretive person.  So I do understand some of where Arwyn is coming from even though her concerns sometimes cross over into full-blown paranoia.  Sometimes it is misplaced, like she refuses to do an encrypted online transaction out of security concerns but has no problems giving her card to the teenage waitress in the restaurant.

 

Seeing C-Marie give her swan song has me thinking about this place, and the 3 other places linked here with the lights still on.  How long do I keep going? 

 

I know most of you have felt the urge to close things up on occasion.  What keeps you in business?

 

D.