Turning

Okay, I’ll give readers a break from the chastity bit (since I’m taking one) and give to a real update. However, I’m also looking for you to continue to vote in the poll if you haven’t already, and submit your key for the chastity Timelock.

One of the difficulties of being so estranged and independent for awhile is if one or both members of a couple decide that maybe they don’t want to be estranged and as independent anymore. The challenge is trying to bridge a gap that has been left open for too long. It’s just not going to be overnight thing.

Okay, let’s get this out of the way – Unless you are Rabbi Shmuley, and going to come over with the wireless headsets and earplugs and do a live coaching thing, the whole therapy thing is a no-go. “Okay, give her a hug and say, ‘I love you.’”

“Okay, Arwyn, now put your arm around him, grab his butt and tell him he is sexy and you can’t wait to fuck him.”

Yeah, that might work. NOT.

I unlocked on Friday night and enjoyed that release, but haven’t really done anything since then in the way of self amusement. However, that’s not to say there hasn’t been some building heat. On Saturday morning as she was getting ready to out, talked for a bit while she was getting ready in the bathroom. This was just mundane talking about stuff. But I gave her a bit of a backrub while she was fiddling with make-up and we were talking. It was really the first bit of real physical intimacy we’d had in months. it was a few minutes and it was just nice. There was a turn taking place. We could both feel it. From then on, things just got more relaxed. I think there was a lot of hostility that was going on in our disengagement and this was starting to turn that down.

Arwyn is not going to be sexually aggressive. It’s just not who she is. she can be warm or she can be bitterly cold, but “hot” just isn’t in her as far as a passionate nature. There just seems to be a certain type of woman who is more or less reserved and is not going to be the aggressor. This does not mean she wants a boorish dominant for a husband.

In anycase, this was just sort of noteworthy. Last night, I kissed her goodnight before she laid down to go to sleep and before I headed to the computer. there was a part of me that wondered if it might be worth my while to hang around. but she informed me that she was very tired. I was okay with that. I had other options like blogging and playing computer games until I was tired enough to sleep. It’s what I’ve been doing for months with no resentment. I think I would resent it if she somehow insisted I went to bed at the same time as her and I had to lie awake beside her being all frustrated while she slept.

I would not mind warming things up between us a bit. Whether or not it evelves into anything sexual…well hope springs eternal. But I’m okay with there being less hostility (even of the passive sort) and just generally liking each other more. And maybe the sexual tension can build from there. Or not. I have no idea. Yeah, I talk about the sexual tension because that is a big part of what I feel. But this does not mean i don’t appreciate the nonsexual aspects of the relationship. Just the fact of having a conversation without the hostility that has been built in is worth noting.

So maybe I can look forward to the bolt cutters in the next couple of weeks!

Timelock keys accepted until lock-up around Sunday morning, unless something drastic happens.

Timelock Codes (Lockword encryptions) can Be Posted…

On my blogger site here. Read the instructions and the directions and all should be well!

They can also be posted under THIS post for those not wanting to go over there.

D.

Update: I put a new poll over on the other site.  Probably the last reason not to switch from blogger entirely is blog polls, which I occasionally use.

9-9 4:22 a.m.

Last night, I stayed up blogging later than I intended. In fact, I didn’t get to bed until after midnight. I usually try to get to bed around 10 when locked up, just because I know I’m going to be awakened at several points. However, last night I got carried away and before I knew it, it was midnight! Just before shutting down, I checked the Timelock.

The title of this post is the day and time I should be eligible to get out. I could have gotten out 7.5 hours earlier, but that was the penalty for looking at the clock! So, I end up doing an extra night in the cage. Actually, I’ve looked 2 other times, so I probably accumulated almost an entire extra day! I think I should be able to finish my time now, without incurring more time.

However, going to bed late had to be dealt with first. So what do you all do for good night’s sleep after being up to long? How do you deal with the inevitable squeeze and pull of early morning wood? There’s only one way; stick something up your butt and sleep with it. So I got the Aneros and every time I got hard, my prostate got a bit more of a massage. It helped balance out the pain with a bit of pleasure. And so it was that I managed to actually get a fairly decent nights sleep.

In the coming weeks I have a feeling that the Aneros will be playing a larger role.

I should have done this ages ago.

Actually, it *has* been ages, and that’s part of the problem. So far, so good. Really good. Being locked up seems to suit me. I have more energy, am more focused…well sort of more focused. I feel more productive and am not frittering away quite so much time on computer games or TV. That’s not to say there isn’t fritter time. I’m a bit more focused on certain things, namely chastity and everything about it.

I not too worried about an audience/readership at this point. Any guy who knows about this blog who is also locked up is going to be drawn to it like…umm…like the Nazgul to the One Ring. We can not help ourselves. Suddenly it is all about the lock and key. It was wild how my traffic suddenly spiked as soon as I locked up and started writing about it. These were not curious vanilla beans, these are real kinksters drawn into the seductive power of having a cock under lock. I’m sure more vanilla readers may tire of me going on and on about the cage. Not so, those who are locked. It’s like we are enthralled by it.

Not having a keyholder, much less a participate in tease and denial, makes getting into subspace a more challenging ordeal. But it still can happen, and for me just having Arwyn around helps move things along that road. Even though she is being cold, spiteful and aloof, I can still use my imagination and pretend that’s part of the game. And I can try to make small overtures and attempt to begin to bridge the huge gap between us. This may take some time.

And then there are the various stories posted on Altairboy’s site. One of them really had me going! And then there are other little things that causes the twitch. The occasional comment here, most certainly. Some of you have a natural knack for the tease. Tease and denial isn’t about being mean and cruel. It is about using and applying sensuous control. It is about enticement. Cruelty concealed by total sweetness and absolute eroticism is hardly cruel, but it is. Subspace is the battle between those opposing and contradictory sensations. Being sadistically sweet and cruelly seductive are the keys to successful domming, at least in my humble opinion.

In about a week or so, my readership will get a chance to ply their domme-craft. I look forward to seeing what happens. This little lock-up is merely a trial run, just to make sure everything fits right and is in good repair.

Stand by for rules for participation.

D.

Welcome Chastity Web People/Persons!

Sure, I’ll go ahead and throw a link your way, since you all are bringing my traffic up to an almost respectable level!  I noticed things got hot as soon as I got back into the cage.  What a bunch of pervs!LOL!  for those not in the know, look for me in the blog section and I’m known as “Celibate Husband!”

 

I mean that (pervs) in the nicest possible sense of the word.

 

This is a WordPress only post, btw.  I just like the community here better, with categories, stats and tracking categories automatically.  Oh, and while I’m thinking about WordPress categories…

 

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to any novice nuns who stumbled in here inadvertently via the “chastity” category.  You are certainly welcome to stick around, but I absolve myself of any harm that may be done to your psyche or soul from my twisted ramblings.  I’m just sayin’.

 

This chastity cage thing is definitely a man’s kink.  However, nothing gets the blood flowing and puts some pressure against the cage like knowing there is a woman or two who is turned on by the whole thing.  I think it is partly because it validates the value us men put on our sexual energy.  A woman turned on by having a man build up and focus his energies via the cage is recognizing that enormous amount of power.  Most women treat a man’s sexuality as a primitive, irksome annoyance.  It gets treated with disdain and contempt. 

 

I suppose some guys get off on that sort of humiliation.  There are a good number of ponyboys and sissies who are into precisely that sort of thing.  I’m okay with sharing my kink with them.  But I am not one of them.

 

There’s a sizable block of guys like me who are in relationship where the sexual energy is less than it could be.  Okay, so she is not keen on having sex.  Could we be keen on NOT having sex?  Chastity play seems like a natural.  A woman who is too busy to have sex could lock her husband away until she has need of him.  She could periodically release him or tease him for her own amusement.

 

But the reality of it is that a woman who is not interested in sex probably won’t be into chastity, either.  But if a woman IS into sex, this could make things a lot hotter. 

 

BTW, Altairboy has updated with some new stories.  I might post a favorite or two from his website just to give y’all a taste as to what I’m into.  You might be surprised.

 

Again, my deepest apologies to the Holy Sisters of the Sacred Name.  But if any of you might possibly be interested in becoming keyholders, email me…

I’m just sayin’.

 

D.

 

 

Practice Lock-Up

09/03/2006

 

One of the insidious settings offered for Timelock is the paying of a penalty for looking at the time remaining.  I’m trying this feature out now, and it can be a real pain in the butt.

 

I had set the thing up for 10 days, just to run without me being locked up at all.  But once I got the idea for the new audience participation activity, I realized I needed to spend a bit of time locked up, just as a sort of warm up.  After paying whatever penalty (6-12 hours) I saw I had about 4 days left so this looked to be about right.

 

Last spring I was totally shaved, but I had since allowed the hair to totally grow back.  It’s a bit sad to note that Arwyn had no idea I shaved, not that she would care anyway.  She didn’t enjoy the stubble the last time she knew I shaved, when we were making an attempt at a sex life a couple of years ago.  We’ll see if I can build a head of steam this time to bridge the gap between us.  There’s a lot of space there.

 

Putting on the cage after a long absence was not difficult.  After re-shaving and lubing up, things went on just as they should.  I inserted the lock into the pin and paused for just a moment.  Then snapped the lock shut.  I then proceeded to get ready for church.  In the early days, it seemed like such a lark, going to church with my cock locked in a cage, wondering if anyone else was wondering.  But nowadays, it seems like the most natural thing in the world.

 

Wearing the cage all day is not a huge issue.  There is the issue of sitting to pee but other than that there were no reminders that I was caged.  However, sleeping at night is an entirely different story.  If I’m not orgasming myself to sleep, I certainly do seem to fantasize a lot.  Afterall, isn’t that what dreams are for?  To have and live the life you always wished for?  But the cage works against over-sexualizing so other thoughts need to stand in.  And you know how that goes.  I’m dreaming of something like gardening with Martha Stewart, which is pretty nonsexual.  Then we’re building a fence to keep rabbits out.  But they aren’t rabbits.  They are Playboy Bunnies!  DOH!

 

But at least now I have something else to update and entertain you all.  This place was getting a bit stale.

 

D.