Bitch Slapped

Cinnamon tagged and bagged me with this one and since I see it making the rounds, I'm going to get it sooner or later. So we might as well take care of it here:

List 8 traits about your perfect partner, and have to tell if they are male or female. Then tag 8 other people to do this.

Why only 8? What's so magical about that? I actually did a top 10 list on this on my old blog. But I'll go from scratch.

These would be female traits, although looking at Cinnamon’s list, some are simply universal.

1. Passion, as in sensual, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Actually that's almost 4 things in one, isn't it? Okay, I stole and refined it from C's list.

2. Earthy. I'm weary of the "Ewww Factor" and someone trying to create a synthetically sterile environment. But this also has to do with how they relate to nature and natural things. Don't go all homeopathic and Wiccan on me, just recognize the natural order of things. Bugs, animals and plants have their place. Maybe a farm background would be beneficial. Yeah, someone who has been shit on and can still finish their chores before cleaning up.

3. Mastery of the Madonna/whore thing. Be respectful in public, but get freaky in the bedroom. Don't be afraid of being naked around me in private. Be a tease in public.

4. Physical appearance: non extreme and confident. Average suits me just fine. All women struggle with insecurities about their appearance one way or another and this is okay as long as she's confident with me and my assessment that she's #1 and God's gift to her gender. And to me. Save the shame talk for your neurotic girlfriends. I know you have moles, a pouch and thighs. I love them.

5. Acceptance. Nothing kills intimacy faster that a feeling that you will be criticized all the time. Or at least be willing to work with me on it where we can work with each other. This also means that bit in the serenity prayer: the courage of accepting things we can't change.

6. Perseverance and tenacity. Work through things instead of quitting and giving up. The first part of the serenity prayer: Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can.

7. Kiss me deeply, passionately and often. And let me do the same.

8. Laugh with me.

While doing this, I actually came up with a companion meme of my own. Pay back is hell, isn't it Cinnamon?

Okay, I'm supposed to bitch slap…er..tag 8 other people with this. Okay…

1. Dewdrop! Ooohh Dewwdrop! I'm sincerely interested in what you have to say on this. And I also know you will take it in the spirit its been given!LOL!

How about some different folks?

2. Summer Rose - Give us (and maybe CH) a clue as to what you're looking for.

3. So Gone - List the 8 and then let us know how BF stacks up.

4. Pretty Peanut - After that HNT, I'm sure I'm not the only guy who is wondering!

5. Cassee - Need to get to know you better!

The last three don't have blogs of their own (yet), so they can answer here or start their own blogs with this one:

6. Broccoli Eater

7. Emily

8. Rob - the token male!

The good news is that you 8 will be exempted from my next round, unless you want to get in on it.

D.

How goes the War on Debt?

01/02/2002

Saturday

I’ve been reading the comments to my last post with a lot of interest. And gratitude. My readers have minds of their own and I never have to worry about a lot of silly fawning. This is good. Plus a lot of you are very smart and thoughtful.

That’s me fawning over you!LOL!

No update on the big fight except Elmo is fine and totally recovered. Arwyn and I are not fighting or anything. I got paid yesterday! wOOt! So did she and so we’re both feeling better. At least until she’s broke again.

I suppose Emily did the best job of laying out what Arwyn’s thoughts probably were on the deal. In her mind, I was an ass about not giving her money to buy medicine for the boys right off. But, as was said by some else (sorry), it might not have been about the medicine at all. And then a bunch of you thinking I’m a wuss for giving in. I can’t tell you exactly what Arwyn’s thoughts are on this and if we can move on, I’m okay with that. But I can tell you mine.

Basically, I gave in because I didn’t want to be depriving my children of medication, even if it wasn’t a life threatening thing. Yes, Arwyn is notoriously irresponsible with money. But I can’t allow my kids to suffer for it. That’s the biggest deal in our relationship. Her well-being is bound to the well-being of the kids. There’s no way to tax her without them being affected. Me, if I don’t get sex, what do my kids care about that?

Impulsiveness has a lot to do with spender psychology. I’m not totally immune, but I am better than my wife. She wants what she wants, and she doesn’t want to wait for it. If it’s something she doesn’t want, then she can put it off indefinitely, like paying certain bills. Or having sex. But once she wants something and gets it in her head, she becomes consumed by it. She can’t live with out it. And it must be NOW!

I want things, but I deliberate much longer. I may still give in to it, but I usually take more time deciding. Once I decide, that’s pretty much it. I’m pretty slow to reconsider. Which is why Arwyn is better off not pushing me on such thinks. Forcing me to decide in the moment will almost always result in a “NO.” Which doesn’t always stop her.

But we did manage to survive the toughest part of the year without charging any more or taking out any new loans or credit. Arwyn, despite impulsiveness, has a vague sense of what I’m trying to do. She really seems to be mostly supportive until something captures her attention and she loses her mind. But she is making some effort. If she gets a new car into her head, it will be on, again.

Usually our tax refund gets consumed into some sort of abyss and this year will not be much different. Except I’m throwing it all at the debt. That 27% interest is killing us. It’s not the smallest debt on the list, but that interest is simply too high to put off any more. I don’t like not having options, and that’s what debt does. I robs people of options and opportunities. You buy shit you don’t need with money you don’t have, and you pay a heavy price for it. At least the Capital One card is history. They recently changed their policy to one where if you are EVER 4 days late on your payment, the default rate goes to 25% automatically. In addition to the late fee. I’m sure other credit cards are jumping all over this.

I see a few other folks have too much month at the end of the money. Desperate Husband is still fighting the good fight and look towards a brighter financial outlook for 2006. And he has shattered my 103 day No Sex record. DH, I salute you!

Confused Husband also wrote a bit about having a checking account gasping for air. Only I’m not sure who the spender or saver is in his household.

……

While writing this, I just had a conversation with Arwyn while she was getting ready to take a shower. no panties, just a sweatshirt she kept pulling down. Teasing me. The topic of the conversation was mundane (vaccinations) but she had my undivided and rapt attention. I can just look at the woman and love her.

D.