Adult Activity

09/21/2005

Wednesday

While I keep my blogroll comparatively small, I have a list of bookmarks made up of 30-40 different blogs. Many of them commentors here, but some I’ve just discovered. It seems it takes that many just to generate a steady stream of reading. I’ve been struggling to keep mine moving along, as my story isn’t really going anywhere. I think I’m at 25 or so days since there was any physical intimacy around here, still a far cry from the 60 or so days
Desperate Husband has had to endure.

Last night, I decided to skip my computer activities in favor of going to bed earlier, thinking that might spark some activity of a reciprocal and adult nature. And it did…sort of.

That activity consisted of talking. For 2 hours we talked. She talked, mostly.When Arwyn talks, it is almost always about one subject. The boys. I guess that’s two subjects, if you count them seperately. But the subject, globally, consists of all her worries and concerns about them as well as recounting conversations with other people about them. If this is the extant of a typical SAHM conversational repertoire, I’m not surprised they struggle with depression.

I love my kids, and they are often a good, rich source of entertainment. However, there is just a lot more going on in the world. Maybe not her world, but that also makes for a boring conversation when one person dominates. All the time. Often she asks for my input, but I don’t often feels she takes it very seriously.

In anycase, we spent 2 hours talking, and then kissed and hugged for a good 90 seconds. Then she rolled over and went to sleep. I rolled over and relieved my own tension right there.

Sigh.

That’s the problem with this masturbation business. We’ve discussed it before, in the context of the cage, and she appeared not to have much of a problem with it. Apparently letting me service myself is preferable to her having the responsibility. And she has exhibited extreme reluctance to have any involvement in the chastity play.

Unfortunately, my LL readership is extraordinarily low. Otherwise, I’d like to know what they expect their partners to do in the meantime.

I think I’d like to have a partner who appeared to be jealous of me taking care of myself. Who would be okay holding my keys and letting me out when/if she wanted. Somebody who cared.

This is one reason why I blog. I can vent my frustration but also occasionally get a comment or two that offers some insight. This is also why I like reading others, as they offer increasing levels of insight. Support is also valuable, and is offered readily in this medium moreso than other places. Reading the stories of other guys going through this sort of mess lets me know I’m not alone, which is a support of a different sort.

D.